I have just started seeing a new therapist, not strictly for gender issues but that's certainly part of it. (This is more or less a follow-up to the "Face to face counseling" post from a couple of days ago.) Briefly, I'm going through Major Life Passages that include our only son going off to college, my turning 50, the possible dissolution of my 22-year marriage, and a general desire and determination to incorporate my femininity into my life in a more full and holistic way.
I wrote her, the therapist, a fairly long email before our first meeting to get some of the preliminaries out of the way--professional bio, a rundown of my complicated marriage, my goals for therapy, etc. I told her "I'm gender-fluid, which in my case means I'm a crossdresser."
Now, I live in a progressive West Coast enclave so there was no question as to whether she'd be accepting. But still my palms got a bit sweaty before I hit send, just as they do before I see someone for the first time when i'm dressed as a woman.
For our first meeting I thought "Well, I might as well back up my words." I wore an oversized woman's pullover, above-the-ankle leggings, flats, my bob curled and back in a headband, and light makeup. Plus a bra and my falsies.
She could not have been more gracious. This was a free, half-hour get-acquainted session. She'd told me earlier that her practice is full but she would put me on the waiting list. In this session she said, "I will make a place for you." So we're starting every 2 weeks next Friday and I'm excited to begin a new phase of self-discovery. As I told her, "My femininity expresses itself mostly in my appearance. I want to express it more in my personality, in my relations with others, especially my wife, and in the way I am in the world."
I think she would have made a spot for me whether I was a crossdresser or not. But there's no question in my mind that my being gender-fluid played a role in her desire to work with me. For those of you considering therapy, please do it -- it's a virtual necessity for people on our part of the gender spectrum. And as to whether you should tell your therapist you're a CDer, the answer is "Absolutely." Otherwise you are defeating the purpose.
I will keep you all posted on my therapy, my marriage, and my feminine journey. Thanks so much for reading.
Kind regards, TT
