HRT and Personality

[Sarah Doepner]

I've read the posts on what to expect physically when moving on to HRT, and I've seen the stories about becoming more emotional. There are also the accounts of a reduction in anxiety and a newly found peace of mind. Are there other changes to your personality that you believe come from HRT, or just the decision to begin? Or is it just the stresses of hiding are now gone and your natural personality has a chance to come through? I have friends who seem much better focused and determined now they have transitioned and they are an inspiration. So is it the HRT or is it what the decision (or both?) has done for them?
Thank you

[JohnH]

I am a good deal calmer after going on M2F HRT. I no longer am suicidal. I look very much like a genetic woman in my appearance with my shoulder blade length hair and DD cup breasts, but I have a deep masculine speaking and singing voice (bass).

I still regard myself as a man and use masculine pronouns as I have not socially transitioned to a woman nor do I plan to do so. But the HRT has worked wonders for me.

[OCCarly]

The hormones made profound changes to my personality. About three weeks into HRT, my old male personality fell apart and I emerged from the shadows—much more calm, more empathetic, far less irritable, far more interactive, and all around happier. And I have far better social intuition and a greater ability to focus on my work.

HRT is like fairy tale magic, only it’s real.

[JohnH]

I also did not have a sea change in my personality. I'm still the same John, but one that's a lot calmer. It feels good now that I have folded, spindled, and mutilated my man card.

[pamela7]

i'm 5 months in on HRT and there is some calming, yes, but it's not a magic pill as such, for me. the slowed beard growth relaxed me on my need to dress so feminine, but then the T flre-up when adding in the anti-a stufff has definitely got me wobbled, will be super-glad once the T is fully off. emotion and feeling sensitivity were already high so no change there. no suicidal thoughts :-)

[Pat]

I'd have signed up to say that hormones didn't give me any mental changes. And then... due to some medical complications, they had to reduce my spiro dose and my T rose 50%. And although I never thought I experienced a calming effect, I found that I got a huge uptick in dysphoric feelings on the lower dose. So I'm down as a firm "maybe" for mental effects. Is it a placebo effect? I dunno. In practice, it doesn't really matter -- it's the effect and not the mechanism that's important.

[LeaP]

Emotionality, anxiety, personality ... They inter-relate, but each is also subject to independent influences. Anti-androgens tend to reduce anger and aggression in most, but lowering T levels can also be disturbing. It typically lowers libido too, which can be regarded as an aspect of personality. Estrogen modulates serotonin (among lots of other things) and *changes* in levels are well-known to relate to emotional change and stability, both positive and negative.

The typical HRT regimen includes both anti-androgens and estrogens, and sometimes progestogens. Finasteride is often prescribed. While Finasteride can be regarded as a type of anti-androgen, it doesn’t act to reduce serum T levels (in fact, it increases them) and is somewhat controversial because of various purported side effects on emotion and personality. Occasionally the approach includes agonists or antagonist drugs for related hormones. As it happens, many people are also taking other medications for a variety of reasons, some highly relevant to your questions (such as anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, etc. Very few people have the opportunity to experience the effects of each medication in their HRT regimen separately for any meaningful length of time and, of course, the effects of the overall mix may be different anyway, aside from the influence of changes in circumstances over time.

Some people (including me) report changes in connection with relatively minor changes in administration, like missing a few days of one or more meds. Consider, however, that NO-ONE is in the position of being chemically monitored to the degree that one can draw firm pharmacological conclusions.

Personality is the most complicated, IMO. Do you know what is really fundamental to your character, what is learned, what is ingrained, what your stressors are, your coping mechanisms, your triggers, your limits, etc.? Really? I thought I did ... until I started HRT ... and until I was on HRT (and other meds) for YEARS. Some things I thought were fundamental just plain disappeared. The HRT? Other meds? Circumstances? I have to tell you that there are very few things I can attribute with any feeling of certainty, and even those are subject to change.

The biggest changes for me have been to behaviors, emotions, and personality aspects that relate to coping mechanisms. With some exceptions, however, I can’t pin any one change on one med or one regimen. Or on starting. Or coming out. On life changes. Or anything else, for that matter. All of which is to say that the things you ask about are HIGHLY individualistic.

I’m not entirely sure it matters anyway, if you consider the off-label and rather ad-hoc, experimental and experiential nature of medically treating gender issues. I wouldn’t recommend a blind, try-it-and-see approach to medication for anyone, but I recognize that even with the best diagnosis and prescription practice that post-administration evaluation may involve trial and error tactics.

The single most accurate and profound (to me) thing I CAN say is that my regimen made me “feel like me again,” as in how I perceived and felt about myself in pre-adolescence. I don’t feel like a juvenile, I just returned to something I had lost for decades ... and never knew.

[JaytoJillian]

I also did not have a sea change in my personality. I'm still the same John, but one that's a lot calmer. It feels good now that I have folded, spindled, and mutilated my man card.

Could not have stated it better myself!

[pamela7]

This is exactly how I am feeling now the T has gone:

The single most accurate and profound (to me) thing I CAN say is that my regimen made me “feel like me again,” as in how I perceived and felt about myself in pre-adolescence. I don’t feel like a juvenile, I just returned to something I had lost for decades ... and never knew.

[Sara Olivia]

I started hormones 19 months ago now. On the day my endocrinologist prescribed the hormones she added that most people she has dealt with found the hormones had a profound effect on them mentally almost immediately. She defined "almost immediately" as being literally within a day or two. I left her office thoroughly unconvinced. I started my prescription of Estrace and Spironolactone that evening. It is important for me to add that at this point I was still deep in the closet to everyone but my immediate family. So there was no reduction in anxiety from the stresses of hiding being gone. They were still very much at play. However, by the next day my level of anxiety had dropped tremendously, far beyond anything I would have believed possible. I think the best way I can describe how I felt by the next day is how a person wandering the desert without water for days would feel after the first water in days.

[Dorit]

I started HRT two months ago and feel profound changes. While always an emotional person, I feel my emotional life is even more intense. I cry more easily, and have found myself laughing with a child like joy often. At the same time, much of my anger is gone. Part of all this very positive experience may be the effect of the hormones, and part may be the release that comes from finally accepting who I am and having others validate it too. I feel like this little "girl" in me that I repressed and fought since my earliest childhood memories is finally being allowed to come out. I am on the edge of tears of joy as I write this.

[Jenn A116]

Interesting to read these experiences. I'm sure the effects are different on everybody.

Several are reporting feeling less anxiety. I'm wondering if this is a direct effect of HRT, or if its the result of finally having made the decision to do HRT.