Mall Adventures

[MorganStar]

I came out of my closet and started going to the mall..I have to sneak out because mom isnt aware of my gender fluidity..I have a complete wardobe change in my back pack so my nights studying at the library with friends really means Im off to the mall. I change in the family restroom - in goes the boy out comes the girl - I throw my pack in a locker the stroll the mall...Its funny that the guys who would probably beat the crap out of me in boy mode,,..check me out in girl mode..I still havent had the courage to respond to their admiration..I ran into one guy from one my school who worked at the food court and he asked me if I had a brother..He wanted to buy me a coffee at starbucks after his shift, but I declined and pretty much ran away..But the day is coming I may take him up on his offer..wink..I am curious to see if I would be comfortable dating boys...wink..at the end of night I ride the bus home, change in the garage and sneak up to bed...its all so cloak and dagger...lol

Morgan

[Alenko]

Oh boy, I know how that gender fluidity feels like (I think). And I know how you feel about guys.. it's really strange, but I wouldn't even thinking about guys but when I've started dressing up it's been a different story. Should you go for it?

[MindiB]

I would be supper careful on what you do. One slip up or miss understanding can get ugly real quick.

[phili]

Hi Morgan,
I wouldn't recommend trying to fool anyone, as that can go very wrong if they feel embarrassed and now you know their secret, etc. If you keep it light and just have coffee, both of you can have fun, and go home with a good story and in one piece. If you're 16 or under, please make sure you don't get involved with anyone 18 or older, as it could be a huge legal problem for them and costly for you. No matter how much fun it is it will not worth be that.

Your voice will give you away soon enough to anyone you know, and if you go to the mall often, the mall rats will figure you out as well, so maybe start thinking about how to come out, so it is not a big secret and poisonous rumor thing. I'm hoping wherever you live the HS kids are pretty cool with genderfluid and at least hints of crossdressing. If so going in and out the front door will just work a whole lot better. One of these days they will go to the library and you won't be there.

You might be gay or bi or just flexible, and that is a separate thing from crossdressing, though they feel linked at first.

Time to start building your relationship with your parents however you can, since keeping secrets doesn't last long and at a certain point they need to know what you are feeling.

Try to find out if there is a LGBT center somewhere around where they have teen programs, or if there is a queer club at your school.

[DaisyLawrence]

At the end of night I ride the bus home, change in the garage and sneak up to bed...its all so cloak and dagger...lol

Are you prepared for what to do when you are caught? It will happen.

[Beverley Sims]

I think Phili sums it up in reply #4.

I would be careful and if you pass as well as I think at your age, be very careful and dress and go out but don't try to strike up a relationship until you have made friends with someone who knows of your exploits.

[Helen_Highwater]

Quite simply, no relationships without informing the other person first. Why?

Firstly common decency. Thrilling as it may seem deceit is not a good way to begin a possible relationship. It shows you don't respect that person.

Secondly, what if you're discovered and the guy you're with takes it badly, I mean really badly and decides to kick the c**p out of you to the point you end up in A&E, mom gets a call and bingo you're outed.

Thirdly, are you prepared to be outed at school and deal with any potential fallout that may occur?

Those who've been out know all about the adrenaline rush that often accompanied early outings. Don't let that take you down a path over which you have little control.

Lastly, you need to decide how far you want to go with a relationship. If you're looking for something physical then seek someone at a LGBT bar not the mall.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Trying to get involved with the boy from school (or any of those boys at the mall) is playing with fire. He will find out, eventually, and you could be outed at school... or even seriously injured or killed. Trans people have been murdered fooling with straight men who don't know. It isn't a game. It is NOT worth it.

You are also taking a risk being discovered by your parents. If there is a risk of you being homeless if discovered, it is probably best you don't sneak out like that.

[kimdl93]

Its a dangerous game. Do not attempt to fool anyone, and don’t become a statistic. As a teen you are getting a rush out of the experience, but with all due kindness, your mind is still maturing...the part that makes judgement possible is just developing. In other words, what might seem like fun in the moment, may be a very bad idea! Now,as a parent, I can only advise that your parents must know where you are. Its still their job to keep you safe and grow into responsibile adulthood.

[Sherrii]

I would think a lot before trying to fool a guy. It might turn out to be a very bad/nasty situation when he finds out he is hitting on another guy, and this is what he will think no matter how good you may be looking. Sherrii

[Stacy Darling]

I read about your adventures Morgan and they seem a little dangerous to me too!

What did sound more dangerous was when I read the whole scenario in reverse ( literally )!

You do sound as if you are putting everything to risk with your adventures, and yeh sure I may have done some risky things when I was younger too! Hell, I still do! So I won't stand here and tell you not to take the risks that you are, because you are you! I will however say that you may be best off sitting down at the library one night and counting how many things could possibly go wrong, and what they are, when doing what you are!

Have fun just be careful Morgan!

Stacy!

[Krisi]

You are doing a lot of risky things here, starting with telling your parents you are going to the library when you are really going to the mall and ending with riding the bus home and sneaking in and changing in the garage.

And the part in the middle about messing with boys is right up there as well. You're young and you haven't thought about what might go wrong and the consequences. Think about what might happen before you do this again.

[mykell]

hi morgan,
as most have mentioned your being risky at best, i however am terrified for you, someone from your school has already hit on you, did he tell his friends about it, is he attracted to you, ill assume yes since he made a pass at you, now if you get caught and or/come out he will find out that it was you he hit on.......where will that lead, not a relationship i would think.

he will be ridiculed and may be embarrassed and humiliated and seek some type of retribution for having to go through that....what that might be could be anyone's guess.

now if being with boys while dressed is all good, but you might want to try someplace more suited to find those that are into that type of kink, a support forum, lgbt venue or something of that nature.

since you live at home you are most likely underage and that will pose a host of so many other issues, you need to show some decourum and think what is best for your future and your reputation, trying to get a cheap thrill most likely wont be worth the risks you are taking....

i do a memorial for trans day of remembrance at the club i volunteer at......we read the names of the lost souls and when they publish the list each year they are savagely taken from us in ways i would not want to leave this world, sex and drugs seem to be the common denominator.....so heed the sage advice being offered here and realize we just want to keep you safe and healthy......so stay safe there

[Kayliedaskope]

Okay, first of all, I'm going to congratulate you on dressing well enough to pass, and your courage for going to the mall and walking among the muggles. It takes courage to take that first step outside, and a lot of us haven't been able to do it. Congratulations.


NOW I'm going to be not so nice, and ask: wtf are you thinking ??? Not being truthful to the parents, sneaking in and out, and flirting with guys who, by your own admission, would beat the crap out of you if they figured out that hot girl "Jamie" is really "James" all dolled up. This does NOT sound like it will end well ...

There's an old saying about playing with fire. This is it. I'm joining the ranks of the others here who are concerned for your safety. Please rethink this course of action before you get badly hurt or worse.