are you more girly than the woman in you life

[jacques]

I wear the dresses; my wife wears trousers. I have more bras; my wife has more shoes. I wear the tights; my wife borrows mine.
Luv J

[Krisi]

Reading these responses, I'm beginning to wonder if the reason we became crossdressers is that our wives aren't "girly" enough for us. Or maybe not.

Women are female all the time. Awake or asleep, dressed or not dressed, in public or in private. They don't need to wear "girly" clothes to appear feminine. As males, we need all the help we can get to look feminine. That's why many of us chose "girly" clothes.

So o answer the original question, I am not more "girly" than my wife. Sometimes, perhaps but not generally. And of course that's just the clothes and makeup. My wife is far more girly in her walk, talk and thinking.

[StephanieCLT]

Question. I definitely enjoy dressing up more than she does. Of course, when I dress, it's more of an "occasion" vs. just day-to-day activities. I do enjoy wearing heels and hose much more than she does!

[JeanTG]

Absolutely. My wife is the tomboy type. In 30 years of marriage, I can count on the fingers of my left hand how many times I've seen her in a dress.

[sara66]

Krisi,
I have been dressing since I was 5 years old. So I don't think that dressing girly had anything to do with the way my wife dresses. I would have be more influenced by my sister, she is very girly. She almost never wore pants, always had perfect makeup and wore heels most of the time. She has RA, now she dresses for comfort.

My fiend had said she like to wear a dress to wedding so she looks like she made an effort.
Sara

[Stephanie47]

My wife selects her clothing for comfort. She does "dress up" when necessary. It's rare that she will wear a dress. Me? I dress for comfort too! It's a plain white tee shirt, a ratted up pair of cutoff shorts, no socks and shoes and unshaven for several days. When Stephanie comes out to assert herself, then it's what you may call "girlie." It's always a dress and heels and all the proper undergarments. For me I think being "girlie" is part of the escape mechanism for whatever I am trying to escape from. I may dress more "girlie" but that does not make me more "feminine" than my wife. Not by a long shot!

[~Joanne~]

I dress more "girly" than she does but I am surely not more girly than she is.

[Drew GB]

I tend to agree I am scared at times that I dress and act more girly than my wife but then she is who she is and I am now exploring who I truly am so yes I may be going a bit overboard but then I have a life time of experiences to catch up on. She always laughs with me though when I say something like oh I can really feel my boobs bounce now and her reply is yup welcome to the club!

[Sabrina.K]

I am the woman in my life

[Susan Smith]

My wife is very feminine, but I realised recently that I can't recall the last time she wore a skirt - just a few days ago for me. Also, my taste in underwear is much more girly. We joke that when I buy her underwear I choose what I would like and then 'turn down the girl a bit'.

[marilyn m]

yes i dress more feminine than my wife.
maybe thats why she doesnt live with me anymore lol

[GretchenJ]

For now, yes, but maybe not later. I am going through my puberty stage and I have a lot of catching up to do.

[Beverley Sims]

I definitely dress more feminine than my wife, I am slender and she carries more weight than I do.

We both dress appropriately but a dress looks better on me than her.

That being said, I do love my wife very much thankyou. :-)

[alwayshave]

My fiancee can no longer wear heels and due to some other issues does not like nylons on her legs. I had never seen her in pants before 2 years ago. Now she wears pants 95 percent of the time. So yes, I dress more girly.

[MaidMarguerite]

I would say no, although my fiancee and I dress differently for sure. I prefer heels and a dress, with stockings and full makeup. Whereas normally she's going to wear boots and jeans, but she keeps it feminine with her choice in blouse, jewelry, makeup, etc. However she has gotten more into dresses as our relationship has evolved, so I'd say we're on an even keel when it comes to who is more feminine. As always though it depends on the situation and place.

[NicoleScott]

No. I dress more girly, but she is the girl in the relationship. So says a part-time over-the-top for pleasure crossdresser married to a woman who dresses as she pleases (casually comfy).

[Brandybea]

In some ways no, in other ways yes. I love heels, dresses and stockings while she prefers flats, pants and knee highs. But I am in guy mode most of the time. So most of the time she is more girly than me. Only when I dress do I match her “girliness” level!

[Leslie Langford]

Let's cut to the chase here, ladies...biology, socialization, and thousands upon thousands of years of evolution have programmed heterosexual males of the human species to be highly visual creatures, and a woman's overall desirable appearance is what first catches most men's eyes when they encounter a female from their particular gene pool. Not their personality, not their intelligence, not their character, not their sense of humor, not their agreeableness etc....all that comes later, and only after the initial, appearance-based connection has been made. And yes, most of us crossdressers are still fundamentally heterosexual males and all of that applies to us as well, even if the outside packaging varies from time to time.

This is why girly magazines, strip clubs, burlesque shows and porn sites exist, and one would be hard-pressed to find a pin-up picture anywhere featuring an attractive female wearing an over-sized sweatshirt, jogging pants, flip-flops, or Crocs the way many women these days choose to dress. In their world, comfort rules above everything else, and they don't much care if their mates find that to be a visual turn-off. Of course, there are also many slovenly males out there with the same "I don't give a d*mn attitude" towards appearance so I don't want to be seen as picking only on the women here. But since the topic of this thread centers around what is considered "girly" here and why we pine for our version of that in our mates, I am framing my comments within that context.

I can't speak here for the younger generation of males who grew up in an era of largely unisex and "causal" (read "sloppy") clothing that even extends into the workplace nowadays and often includes professional and semi-professional settings as well, so seeing a woman wearing a skirt, dress, heels, and - God forbid! - pantyhose in an office environment is becoming akin to spotting a Sasquatch or a Yeti in the wild. Pants rule wherever one looks. That said, I don't know what constitutes a turn-on for younger males these days, but for old fossils like myself who came of age in the "Mad Men" era, I think it is safe to say that we sorely miss those days when women tried to outdo themselves in the business world in the the way they tastefully dressed to the "9's" with skirts, dresses, stockings, pantyhose, heels, silky blouses, lacy nylon slips, and sexy lingerie...all of it topped off with impeccable makeup. And yes, I stress the word "tastefully" here, as it often seems that for the younger generation, the line between "sexy" and "****ty" is becoming increasingly blurred.

I think that it is no coincidence that many of the members of this Forum are of an "advanced" (I'm being kind here - LOL!) age who look longingly back upon those "good old days" and who use this platform to commiserate with each other over the current state of "girlishness" with threads like this, despairing over why their wives or SO's don't share the same enthusiasm for what they consider "sexy" clothing.

I'm also willing to go out on a limb here and offer the opinion that for many of us aging crossdressers, this is fundamentally a fetish whereby in dressing the way we do, we are trying to recreate a sort of "fantasy woman" that we don't see in our mates in order to satisfy this unrequited desire. In other words, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!", and all we are doing in the process is eliminating the "middleman" ("woman"?) - so to speak - by dressing up ourselves the way we wish our mates did, and settling for gazing upon an image in the mirror that reflects this yearning as opposed to finding it within our partners instead.

[~Joanne~]

Now you know your going to come under fire for putting that much truth in one post Leslie lol I do agree with you 100% and thank you for a very well written post that pretty much sums it all up if everyone is being honest with themselves.

[michele4848]

I have to say, that after being married 3 times I am way more girly than any of them. in honesty 3rd wife never knew about my dressing. she passed 5yrs ago. miss her every day. dressing and thinking about transition and other things brought that marriage to an end. she married a guy 14yrs younger than her(same age as my daughter, her step-daughter) she died of complications of diabetes. 1st wife was never girly, we were both to young and dumb. had 2 kids together but only lived together part of the time. she accused me of being gay,(never even thought about it) she didn't care what I wore, she had her own life, (and boy toys). she never remarried. she died alone.

[Robin777]

I will say I dress more girly than my wife. I wear the dresses, the heels the stockings and lots of other girly things my wife doesn't care to wear or can't wear. I will say A lot of these items of clothing she has picked out for me. But I won't say that I'm more "girly" than her.

[Ashleyrobyn831]

I sorta feel like I have two different responses to this question--on the one hand, I would say no, in that my wife and I both dress largely for comfort and functionality, and on the rare occasions that more formal or fancy attire is required we both seem to usually wind up at similar levels of frilly-ness, if that's a word. But in behavior and personality, I tend to be quite a bit more 'girly', since she has always felt more comfortable expressing herself in what society would consider masculine ways. Just to be clear, I'm not saying that she's manly by any means; but the directness or sometimes even aggressiveness with which she often communicates, as well as many of her hobbies and pastimes, are generally viewed by a broad swath of the populace as masculine. For a long time that bothered us both, but in time we realized that as long as we're content with each other then outside judgements don't matter. In a way it's a relief for me that she is that way, because if she were inclined to go "girly" I'd likely suffer horrible insecurity, since she's one of those women that somehow simply don't grasp how stunning they really are. 😋

[TracyT]

My wife likes to say "You were a cheerleader in high school [not exactly true--I was on the drill team, but her point remains], and you still dress like a cheerleader." For me that mean white Keds, high ponytails (yes, sometimes with a bow), a cute and girly chin-length bob, and plenty of pink. Also pantyhose -- I was talking to a colleague the other day and she expressed amazement that I wear skirts and hose to work (the GGs in my office all wear jeans nearly every day), not because it's unacceptable but because "Why would anyone wear hose if they didn't have to?!" And I said "Women who have to wear panythose hate them. Crossdressers who get to wear pantyhose love them."

[Rhonda Darling]

Often yes, but we are both very comfortable with who we are and very often are complimenting each other -- not just the clothes -- but. the beauty and grace that shines from within. Affirming each other is very important to our relationship. When I dress to go out and put on the glam, my wife will offer tips and tricks, and at times very precise critiques, that are intended to help me be the best I can be.

Rhonda

[Maria in heels]

My wife says that I am definitely more girly than her, and i am her wife