This post is going to be a little long, because I feel like the questions I have are not something a person can answer without a bit of background. I will understand if it is too long for some of you to read. My only request is that you only reply if you are able to read the whole original post. The things I say in one part of this post can be taken out of context if not considered with the rest of the post.

A few years ago my mother moved in with me due to her declining health. She is somewhat independent most days, but she would not be able to handle being on her own without at least some help on most days. Some days she needs much more extensive help. She recently spent a couple of months in the hospital, and it was during that time I started to explore being Jasmine a bit more, and discovering that this was more than just a clothing fetish. She has been home for about a month now.

My mother and I have always been close. She has always been supportive of me. Due to circumstances that are irrelevant now, in my teenage years she found out about my "lingerie fetish" and she didn't condemn me for it. She didn't seem to understand, and I was not very forthcoming about the subject due to the general embarrassment about being caught with such things compounded with the fact that it was my mom talking to me about something sexual. Since I didn't talk to her about it she didn't ask about it again.

I think my mom has always been relatively liberal in her views. At the very least she seems to have an attitude of "it doesn't matter what you do in your private life, as long as it's not hurting anyone". Or at least that is how she sees other people. Still, being indifferent to people who live an alternative lifestyle is not the same as approving of it. For the vast majority of people in this world, I would be content to have them be indifferent to me. For most of my friends, I wouldn't mind if they were indifferent about my crossdressing, as long as it wasn't active disapproval. If I ever told my best friend about this part of me (and I am not considering telling him in the near future), it would hurt if he wasn't at least somewhat supportive. I have no significant other at the moment, so that is not an issue. However, my mother's opinion matters a great deal to me.

In addition to how much her opinion means to me, if I tell her, we still have to live together even if she rejects me. I love my mother unconditionally. I am the only remaining family she has. If I don't take care of her, no one else will. Because of this, it terrifies me to think what could happen if I tell her I am a crossdresser and it turns out she is not okay with it. I could live with a DADT situation if it came to that, as long as she didn't outright reject me.

On the flip side of this I think of all of the positive things that could come from being able to talk to her about being Jasmine. I wouldn't have to lie about this important facet of who I am anymore. Sure, it is a lie of omission, but it is still a lie. I would be able to talk to the most important person in my life about the most significant thing that is happening right now in my life. Lately, it seems like we aren't connecting with each other on an emotional level. I feel like this could potentially be a bonding experience for us. We could have a "girls night" or even go shopping. I have discovered we even wear the same dress size. Other positives include more practical concerns. I wouldn't have to do laundry secretively. I could just do it. No more worrying about her finding a pair of panties that don't belong to her in the dryer.

Before I finish off writing this post, I want to reassure everyone that I will not be jumping into this without a lot more thought and discussion. Right now I am just getting some ideas out there for some feedback. I don't see this conversation with my mother happening any time over the next few weeks. I am just trying to plan ahead so that if/when I do discuss this with her I will be as prepared as reasonably possible.