A happy, fairy tale ending!
A happy, fairy tale ending!
Wonderful news
Jasmine, congrats. I'm glad it went well.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
Yay!!!!
It seems to me your fairly cautious and aware of the 'what can happen if I go to far' thing; but allow things to proceed normally.
I say that because in my time spent of the forums, there is some history of our kind taking a mile when all we need are inches.
Well done Jasmine, and it sounds like you have a truly lovely Mother.
That is wonderful news Jasmine.
Part Time Girl
So glad mom is so accepting, most are if it is just mom being mom. Very nice ..........now how about a pic...................................Debra
What a beautiful story, Jasmine! Thank you so much for sharing. As I mentioned in your earlier thread, my Mom knows and accepts but we haven't talked about it. Your experience has given me food for thought and I may consider having "the talk" with her sooner than later.
I do agree with Nikki that you may want to reconsider asking her to keep your secret. I know it's scary, but I've never sworn anyone to secrecy when coming out to them. She may really want to talk to someone about this, and you don't want to make her feel guilty if she ever feels the need to share with someone.
Congratulations on coming out to her!
So Glad it worked out for you Jasmine.
When my mother came to stay with me for about a year I decided I had to tell her so that I could dress the way I wanted in my own house. I couldn't take a long term period of not dressing. When I told her, I expected that she already knew and was shocked that she didn't because my mother is one very aware woman. She comes from a very traditional background and I expected some negativity but she just said "why shouldn't me wear skirts?". She herself was one of the first women in her community to wear trousers and got a lot of negativity from the old guard so perhaps she was visiting her own experience on me. During the time she lived with me before finding her own place I wore dresses or skirts every night for dinner with her and she was quite happy with it. In her day she was a very stylish lady and I can't help wondering if my own desire to dress as elegantly as possible is some sub-conscious attempt to win her approval. I didn't ask her to call me Susan (or refer to the name in any way) as I Just use that to make life easier for other people when I go out. Basically I am just me dressed up.
Last edited by susan54; 01-27-2018 at 05:27 PM.
congrats! so happy for you!
Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. That worked out about as well as it possibly could have, and your mom is fantastic. Her reaction to the first dress she saw you in, "That dress suits you." is absolutely perfect. It almost sounds like she had some prior awareness about your CDing and was ready for you. At any rate, she thought it was No Big Deal, which is the Holy Grail to me.
In the first part of your story, your mom thought there was something seriously wrong and was relieved to know you were a crossdresser. That suggests a possible tactic for the rest of us. If we can make our confessees think something really big and bad is happening in our lives, crossdressing will seem like nothing!
Thank you everyone! The people of this forum have been so supportive and have brought up many good points to my attention.
One good point that I am hearing is concerning my telling her that I expected her to keep my secret. Thank you to those who said something about this. I want to be told when I am doing or am about to do something wrong. At this point, I don't think it matters. Her response to that expectation was "of course!" And she said it very sincerely and emphatically. I have since made sure that she understands that I never would expect that to apply to her talking to her therapist.
That said, I should not have told her that I expected her silence. That should have fallen under the category of "things I hope for". It should have been a request. It is only fair to ask someone to keep a secret if you ask before telling them what the secret is. Even then, it should be asking, not telling.
I am still going to talk to her about it. I don't think it matters, but I will discuss it with her anyway. I will let her know it was unfair of me to expect privacy after the fact. I will then make sure she knows that I would still prefer things to stay private. And if she feels like she really needs to tell someone, then giving me a heads up about it would be really great.
On a separate note, I went shopping with my mom today. We were shopping for her. She had a gift card from Christmas she wanted to spend, and she wanted some shirts. I have to drive her due to her various physical limitations, so I typically go with her when she goes shopping. Usually, I just go to the furniture department and find an easy chair to sit in while she uses one of their motorized shopping carts. Today, I walked with her through the store looking at various tops, and telling her my opinion on what I thought was cute. Giving her my opinion on feminine clothes just didn't feel so weird anymore. Sure, in the past when she would ask "do you like this shirt?" I would give her a short yes or no, but I didn't volunteer information. It turns out we have very similar opinions on fashion.
I look back at all of the times I shopped for her for Christmas or birthdays, and I realized that I loved to look for clothing for her. Even before I really understood my own desire to wear it, my subconscious clearly enjoyed picking out clothes to wear. Now, I can not only do it at a conscious level, but I can do it with my mom.
I really wish everyone here could have what I am having with my mom. I hope you have as wonderful a day as I am.
As perfect an outcome as could have been expected! You sound so unburdened, and I'm pleased for you
Best wishes for the future!
- Lydianne.
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