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Thread: What does "genderfluid" really mean!?

  1. #1
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Question What does "genderfluid" really mean!?

    I change easily from male mode to female mode. I'm very comfortable as a male and always have been.
    After dressing for 20 years I've also gotten pretty comfortable as Sherry and, presenting in female mode. I still have issues whenever I go out dressed in Vanilla Land, tho.
    Does this sound genderfluid to u?

    But, when I dress, I go all-the-way or not at all. No, "throw on a few things" or androgenous looks for me!
    Does this mean I'm not genderfluid?

    I KNOW we have many "definitionists" here. So, what exactly do u think genderfluid means?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

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  2. #2
    Junior Member Samantha uk's Avatar
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    I would interpret it as meaning your gender is not fixed you can express as male or female or anywhere in between at any time
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMvcAKrZxIBZMNn-9jilAIA

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    My guess is that it means that you are comfortable dressed as either sex, and what I have seen from your post,
    you look very nice dressed as a female. I wish I could do half as good as you do.
    I would love to walk out of this house dressed, and not just hide in the car.
    Rader

  4. #4
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I was gender fluid when I was born. both sides of my brain are open and it switches back and forth. Sometimes a physical activity like diving causes a switch but it can switch at any time. It took me a while to understand it. But it is real as I understand it
    Part Time Girl

  5. #5
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samantha uk View Post
    I would interpret it as meaning your gender is not fixed you can express as male or female or anywhere in between at any time
    Change "express" to "identify" and I like the definition. But that one change is a significant one. As a crossdresser who only occasionally expresses or presents as a woman but does not identify as one, even when crossdressed, I don't consider myself gender fluid. Always a guy who likes to dress up at times.

  6. #6
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    Here is my take on being Gender Fluid. It took me and my counselor years to put this in words so please bear with me.

    We are all born either GG or GM genetically, but we are all individuals and we are all wired differently. I struggled with this for years. We are, regardless of gender, all born naked. When I was born GM I had the correct wiring, but I was unique. I was also internally wired as a female and fortunately came with all the wiring, adapters, switches etc for the two sets of different wiring could to interface and for me to work. I am able to be in drab and feel my feminine side. I am able to be in female clothing and feel my masculine side. I did not one day pick up a pair of panties, put them on and say these give me a femine side. It was my internal femine wiring that said put those panties on. Disregarding or genitic differences between male and female it is our internal wiring that gives us the desire to emotionally be male or female. For me it is fortunate that I can be me on either side of the fence but can enjoy any numbers of combinations of me in between the two and be happy there also.

    There are so many variables in our wiring for those of us who fall in the T Spectrum or the LGBT term. If someone wanted to LABEL all, there would be millions if not billions of lables. We are a complex group of T's, or maybe we just make it complex. We are individuals and just need to figure our wiring out and the hell with what society says NORMAL is.

    So for me Gender Fluid is easy. I enjoy all of me from my far right male side to my far left female side and all the variables in between. So I can easily flow from my male to my female and back again with no feelings of oh no I have to change. I enjoy my female wardrobe and I enjoy my male wardrobe and am comfortable with either. To me that is Gender Fluid.

  7. #7
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    To me, the phrase conjures up images of fluid running thru the body. I prefer the term "gender variant", which I think is the same thing.

    Nicole has a good point regarding expressing vs. identifying with the opposite gender. Non-trans MtF crossdressers generally don't actually identify as female. That's one thing that makes the bathroom issue difficult.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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    Hellion on Heels Kayliedaskope's Avatar
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    Sounds like a drink .....
    "You are who you are, that's all right with me,
    But I am who I am, that's all I can be."
    -Trace Atkins, "Rough and Ready"
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    Just call me Kaylie

  9. #9
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    I KNOW we have many "definitionists" here. So, what exactly do u think genderfluid means?
    It means whatever you want it to mean. Unlike some other terms (transsexual, transgender, etc.) that were rigorously defined by the medical professionals who coined them, gender fluid is kind of a "people's term" that came to exist as folks tried to come to grips with their experience of themselves. It's kind of a compelling term in that almost everyone who hears it thinks they can intuitively understand exactly what it means, but it always falls apart when people get down to the details because it's totally subjective. Does it describe identity? Does it describe presentation? Depends on the intent of the speaker.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    For what it’s worth, I would call you, as you desribed yourself, gender fluid. Someone who dresses “half way” as you describe, I’d call “androgynous”. I’d go on to say that a person who is androgynous could also be gender fluid if they feel comfortable “switching” between expressions.

  11. #11
    Member Eva Bella's Avatar
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    I call myself genderfluid.. and most of my close friends do as well.

    I don’t feel completely cross-gendered. I’m satisfied being a male when I want or have to be. I don’t feel the urge to transition or undertake any surgery.

    But my feminine identity is a lot stronger than just clothing. Everything about my demeanor fundamentally changes, and I’m a very different person en femme. I also exclusively do it in public, needing these feelings to be validated and interactive.

    So for me, it feels much stronger than just dressing and putting on a skirt and heels. I use the word genderfluid to express that.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Sherry,

    There are fluids such as Mercury that can be persuaded to flow uphill but in general terms "Fluids" are substances that find their own level. For me that's the point. Being gender fluid means each of us finds our own equilibrium. It's like having two containers full of water joined by a pipe. Raise one container higher than the other and water will flow from one to the other but will find a steady state. The differential in height if you will is the measure of our fluidity. Some raise the containers relatively higher compared to others. The principal however is the same. It's the degree of change that differs.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  13. #13
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    It's a pretty loose term these days, as it seems many of the terms we use seem to be morphing. I personally rake the second part of the term, fluid and just think of that. What is fluid, what are it's general properties etc etc. If your gender can be similar in nature to the properties of fluid, then yes you would be gender fluid.

  14. #14
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    I do not ascribe single words to a complex issue. A single word answer leaves too much to self interruption. I enjoy being a man. I have no desire to become a woman, although, if I was a woman that would be fine also. I do not like appearing as a disheveled male. When I was working it was always a dress shirt, tie and slacks, and shined shoes. Even now as a retiree I want to present as a desirable man.

    I feel very comfortable wearing women's clothing. It's all or nothing for me too. It's dresses. No pants of any kinds. That's for men to wear, IMHO. It's the June Cleaver look of "Leave It to Beaver" or Harriet Nelson of "Ozzie and Harriet." I love wearing a bra and panty, garter girdle and stockings, slips, dresses and heels. I usually forego the makeup because women do not always wear or need makeup, although on occasion it will be makeup and nail polish and a spray of perfume.

    If "genderfluid" means feeling comfortable presenting as a male or a female then that term is appropriate. I would not ascribe that term to men who feel they are trapped in the wrong body and are in flux trying figure out where they fit. I would not ascribe that term to those men who are still uncomfortable, ashamed or uneasy wearing women's clothing.

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    I can't add a single thing to what Stephanie said. I'm 100% on board with her.

  16. #16
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    But then again, maybe being gender fluid doesn't really have much to do with clothes/presentation. If this fluid were to hit me while I'm out and about, I couldn't spontaneously change what I'm wearing or change my appearance.

    So far, there are a few here that feel that they are gender fluid and feel the phrase fits them. I have some fem feelings sometimes but I don't consider myself gender fluid.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  17. #17
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    do we distinguish "genderfluid" from "crossdressing"? or do they overlap? My sense is/was that the genderfluid is for changeable gender identity, be it day to day or hour or hour or week to week or whichever. Whereas crossdressing does not change the gender identity as such; it is a male-identified presenting as female. I think these distinctions still make sense, while acknowledging a spectrum and labels are incompatible - where does red end and orange start on a rainbow?
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  18. #18
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    To me, like so many have said, gender fluid is a very generalized category of people who show all kinds of variations in gender identity and expression forms. But they don't clearly fit into one of the more defined and easily identifiable categories.

    In taxonomy (the process of classification of whatever) there is often a situation where most members of the population fall into fairly neat categories or "species." But in a diverse population there will always be some individuals that don't fit neatly into any species. They are composed of bits and pieces of the total characteristics of the species, so to speak. Gender fluid, gender variant, non-binary, to me, mean pretty much the same thing - a person who exhibits a variable gender role that is based on what amounts to an identity that spans an unusually wide range of gender role, identity, and/or expression. Unusual but completely expected in such a high diversity population as humans that is highly adaptive. OK, that is the biology.

    In practical terms, the gender fluid lack the well formed structure that other people have. It is OK. You are just being you. You are within the normal range even though maybe not in the middle of the range. Somebody has got to be in the outer reaches of the bell shaped curve, but it doesn't mean you are a freak. That is just the way you are configured. Love it.

  19. #19
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    No.
    Gender Fluid does not mean you wet your panties.
    Sorry, girls.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I am a male that enjoys the dressing and wearing the soft smooth clothing of most female attire. I'm attracted to over the top makeup. Sometimes I feel like a female that enjoys working on my jeep and hunting or digging fence fence post holes. To me it's what I feel on the inside every day.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    I have some fem feelings sometimes but I don't consider myself gender fluid.
    That's part of the problem of ascribing a word to a complex issue. "Fem feelings!" What does that early mean to a male? I am not a female, so I cannot attest to how a woman feels. Anything I feel when wearing woman's clothing is pure conjecture on my part. I think I said something really stupid to my wife one time about bringing out my feminine side. She threw back some choice words about having periods and child birth. I decided back then to just fess up. "I do not know why I do what I do!"

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Genderfluid?

    I thought that was what I put in the brake master cylinder.

    Sherry,
    Stop the deep thinking and get on with what you do best. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  23. #23
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    That's part of the problem of ascribing a word to a complex issue. "Fem feelings!" What does that early mean to a male? I am not a female, so I cannot attest to how a woman feels.
    It's just a description that shouldn't be taken literally. How do you feel when you're en femme? Do you have masculine feelings?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  24. #24
    Member vicky_cd99_2's Avatar
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    It is another label and we already have too many labels. In my opinion, unless you live in one mode or the other only you are fluid. When I am dressed as a man I am all man. When I am dressed as a woman I try hard to be all woman. I want my mannerisms and thought and actions to coincide with the image I am trying to present. Yes my default actions revert to the male side. Those actions are mainly my defensive and tactical. Most of that is ingrained from much training and that training was in male mode. Enjoy who you are, don't worry about labels. Don't let what others think about you dissipate your highs in life. We only have one chance at our own life.

  25. #25
    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    I agree with Pat's answer. It means whatever you want it to mean. So in a way it means a lot of things, but it also means nothing. /shrug

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