Acceptance levels by Wives and SO's

[Becky Blue]

Some of us on here are in a DADT situation, others are still keeping it a secret and some have very accepting partners. I thought it would be interesting to rate your wife/SO acceptance. For those of you who have yet to share perhaps you can guesstimate what you think would be the rating if you did tell. Lets say that a 10 is a wife/SO who SO embraces your F side that she is encouraging you and perhaps even pushing you further than you would go on your own and that a 0 is a wife/SO who says not under my roof chose me or her...

[Jaylyn]

Mine started out at around an 8 or 9 and was helping me learn makeup skills n buying me clothes and Jaylyn Christmas Presents but has recently dropped to around a 3 and in a DADT. I don't know what happened but I do know GG can change their minds in a second or two.

[2BArianwen]

I haven't told my SO because I'm pretty sure she would be in the 0-1 range. I assume many others are in the same position...

[Dana44]

Mine is accepting and it is 8, or 9.

[2BArianwen]

So jealous!!!

[dawn459]

My So knew before we married but because of children in the home it was
1_3 after all the children& grand children moved out the level has played between 4_8 with us shopping together with me
In male mode.We live in a area where I am.pretty well known & if some one saw her& I was ended there might be tounges wagging
We plan but haven't done it
To travel out of state for a Girls night out.

[Jaymees22]

I think she started at a 1 and now after 6 years I'm happy she's at a 5. Slow progress but at least we're headed in the right direction. I would be a little worried about a women that said she was great with this.

[Michaelasfun]

Prolly a 6/7, I can wear girly outfits in the house, but under no circumstances does she want me to go out either by myself or certainly gawd forbid with her, I give her a lot of credit for just putting up with me indoors.

[Marcia Blue]

My wife knows, helps me buy clothes and makeup. She has critiqued my outfits and makeup. Lets me dress at home with her around, sans wig. She will not go out with me dressed.
That being said I rate he acceptance at a 9.

[ginapoodle]

An example of a ten, unconditional love, in my life-- is my youngest daughter. I came out to her and her older sister last Thanksgiving. Youngest is also "queer". Her response has been encouraging in so many ways. She and I are so alike, in so many ways: personality, creative, etc. I am grateful for my youngest, and that I finally told them my full authentic story.

My wife and oldest daughter are clones: to some degree they express "conditional" love. They are controllers. Deep seated, I think, the controllers lack their own self esteem and are fear driven. The fear expresses in micro-aggressions, passive-aggressive behavior and good old narcissism.

In the end, we can only change ourselves.

[ginapoodle]

Initially a 7-8, pretty high acceptance: helping me buy clothes and makeup. That was about ten years ago.

Then life happened that resulted in my wife experiencing a lot of grief and depression (mother killed in major car accident, father severely injured, and more).

Support dwindled fast to very low, maybe 2-3. Last summer I re-energized Gina, and kept my wife in the loop. She neither pushed back, nor supported, nor initiated any discussion or questions. I gave many openings--nothing. So, we are in DADT and I do not want to press her given her current stress levels and history of anger when I do engage in pushback or confrontation.

The conclusion: people are variable in acceptance.

[MLane]

I agree with Gina, it really depends on whats going in your life. Any hobby or interest can become obsessive and make your SO feel you are only thinking of yourself. My wife can range between 2 to 3 and up to a 7-8, but in the end she is amazing and very accepting. I try to put myself in her shoes (not literally) but I don't think any little girls dream of getting married and then later find out that they need to share the feminine spotlight with their husband.

Initially a 7-8, pretty high acceptance: helping me buy clothes and makeup. That was about ten years ago.

Then life happened that resulted in my wife experiencing a lot of grief and depression (mother killed in major car accident, father severely injured, and more).

Support dwindled fast to very low, maybe 2-3. Last summer I re-energized Gina, and kept my wife in the loop. She neither pushed back, nor supported, nor initiated any discussion or questions. I gave many openings--nothing. So, we are in DADT and I do not want to press her given her current stress levels and history of anger when I do engage in pushback or confrontation.

The conclusion: people are variable in acceptance.

[skirt_guy]

My wife is an 8/10. Don’t get me wrong, she is awesome on the cross dressing idea, even suggesting getaways but she is afraid of breast forms and if I purchase an article of clothing that she likes, I immediately loose it. Keep in mind that my dressing in front of her has been a gradual process over 30 years. She’s a great gal and I appreciate her acceptance but not quite there yet.

But I’m grateful for who I have.

[JulesLynne]

My wife is an 8/10. Don’t get me wrong, she is awesome on the cross dressing idea, even suggesting getaways but she is afraid of breast forms and if I purchase an article of clothing that she likes, I immediately loose it. Keep in mind that my dressing in front of her has been a gradual process over 30 years. She’s a great gal and I appreciate her acceptance but not quite there yet.

But I’m grateful for who I have.

It sounds like our wives are very similar. I recently came out to my wife and we had a very long and open discussion about my female side. In short, I explained that my need to dress wasn’t just because of a fetish or kink, but that I’ve really got about 5% girl deep inside me. She asked me if I wanted to wear wigs or breast forms and I explained YES along the lines of I want to complete the transformation and I don’t want to see baggy material where breasts or hips should be any more than I wanted to see hairy legs or combat boots with a nice skirt. I explained that if this was solely about my like of panties, pantyhose, etc., then I’d be completely happy just wearing those items underneath my male clothes. She really seemed to come around and we have been incredibly emotionally close after I divulged the extent of my secrets. She hasn’t seen me wear them, but she did seem to understand why I want them. Her fear seemed to stem from me either feeling like I should have been born with breasts, or me wanting to wear them all the time.

[Tina Davis]

My wife knows I have dressed previously, but she would not be happy to find my current stash. I promised myself several years ago I would never wear her things again. But to her, my lack of honesty is the biggest fault, so she would probably be at 0-1 if I told her of my ongoing desire to dress occasionally and even go out en femme. After over 25 years of marriage, I don't think I will ever bring it up with her unless there is a major change in our lives.

[~Renee~]

She's a self proclaimed 9. We are more like 7 due to my moderation. She definitely understands the need. I'm a long way from the door. So I can't say 8.

[Diane Taylor]

When I first came out to my ex she was about 1 or 2 but eventually made it up to 9-10. My current girlfriend is in the 8-9 range. I dress as often as I want with no pushback. She's also gone out in public settings with me and some of my CD friends.

[Michelle Crossfire]

Interesting. She buys for me, gives me fashion advice, even helps me pick out stuff when i am going to dress from time to time. She has accompanied me out to GNO's and the mall once or twice, so i have to give her at least an 8 and could justify a 9.

[Lux]

I would definitely say a 10. She lets me dress whenever I want, have my clothes in our walk in closet. She has surprised me with tickets to and has gone to SCC, Divas and Wildside with me. She goes out with me all the time and holds my hand as we walk out to the dance floor. She is amazing and I also definitely count my blessings every day!

[mattfrykowski]

I would say right now a 1 or 2. Its only been a couple of months since I told her. I say 1 or 2 because she is ok with me wearing panties under my clothes and to bed at night. Perhaps she is a 10 because of that, but I assume as this progresses some I will find out how much acceptance she will have.

[Teresa]

Becky,
It's hard to say in a DADT situation , you never know from day what figure to put on it , the goalposts moved that quickly , if my wife had her way I wouldn't dress at all so I should really put a 0 .

Sadly it won't matter soon , whatever level she was at wasn't enough for me but the DADT problem won't entirely go away when we separate not unless there are big changes and I totally walk away from the family .

[Julia1984]

That'll be a -10 From me.
I misread the OP too. Actual, not anticipated. What's the value in guessing...?

[DaisyLawrence]

For those of you who have yet to share perhaps you can guesstimate what you think would be the rating if you did tell. Lets say that a 10 is a wife/SO who SO embraces your F side that she is encouraging you and perhaps even pushing you further than you would go on your own and that a 0 is a wife/SO who says not under my roof chose me or her...

I think some replies here have failed to read the OP properly. Becky asked for those who have NOT shared this side of the with their SO's to guess the likely response, not for those who have shared to state the response they got. So on that basis I would not expect any 8's, 9's or 10's because if that is the expected response then what is stopping you? In fact, so far there is only one reply from someone who has yet to reveal, and not surprisingly the guesstimate is very low.

Edit:

I got this wrong, see above

[Isabella Ross]

Sorry, Daisy, but I think you should reread the OP. Definitely not the way I read it. And I will give my wife a full 10...

[Gypsy Sam]

DADT by choice. Revealed and acted out one time decades ago and the guilt was over whelming. Savor the me time, and she accommodates my secret obsession with disdain.
Would have to rate 1-2 as my evaluation and have adapted to the situation. Admire those with skills and talent to present well, a good self image must be the catalyst for that result.