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Thread: Your preferred term?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Alberta, CA

    Your preferred term?

    Good Morning,

    I have been reading through the forum here for some time now and I have a question:

    What do you call what you do, in regards to your crossdressing?

    A way of life.
    A hobby.
    Your dressing.
    Your secret.
    Your dirty little secret, etc.

    I have seen these terms and others, so am curious what you call it, if anything.

    I hope this isn’t taken offensively, I am genuinely curious. I am not trying to offend anyone, so if you think perhaps I shouldn’t be asking or that it’s just your “life”, and there is no term, that’s fine, but please don’t be upset with me asking everyone, as I know that’s not the case. I would also hope that if others have defined it as something, we can respect that and not judge or say you “don’t understand”, unless you would like them to expend.

    I specifically added “dirty little secret”, because that’s what Monnica referred to it as for most of her life (my lovely SO cd'er). But, now it seems less “dirty”, less defined, almost to an “I don’t’ know what to call it” type situation.

    I look forward to reading your responses.


  2. #2
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    I call it wearing clothes. I get chilly when I don't. I've worn both male and female styles virtually all of my life. Left to my own choices, I would dress as a girl probably 90% of the time, but there are times when I would prefer men's clothes as well (which is also how lots of women feel, as men's clothing is often more utilitarian so it is simply more likely to be worn when needing to do some specific chore rather than for the clothes to be decorative).
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Lol not your dressing but it is just me and my dressing. I find it similar to a hobby sometimes, a feel good and right type of hobby. A secret that only my wife keep, sometimes it can turn dirty or should I say a sexy kind of dirty. I've been doing it since I was small with a few vacations from it but it's kind of developing into a way of life. That's still kept a secret to all but me this forum and my lovely wife.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    I have to agree with sometimes_miss. It's just wearing clothes. Now what someones spouse,gf,bf or SO call it may be more in line with those terms.
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog

  5. #5
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    It's some of all of the above.
    A lifetime of doing it,
    Hobby elements,
    Dressing up my way, not for others,
    Only my wife knows, so our secret,
    A sexual excitement aspect to it, so there's no need to come out to friends, co-workers, or family.

  6. #6
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Catskill, NY
    My preferred term?

    "Goddess of the Dark Realm Twixt the Stars"

    Unfortunately, I haven't found anyone who is willing to use my proper title.......

    As for the OP, it is just my life. Although, I am somewhat hard pressed when discussing what this community does in concrete terms.
    "lifestyle?" not really, didn't choose this
    "hobby?" not a fecking chance! The hardships this can bring belie this term
    "dirty little secret?" That's what MOST of muggle society would like to refer to it as. Because, ya know, we are engaging in some perverted shenanigans....
    "disorder?" yeah, no. Same with 'malady', 'illness', or 'deviance'.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  7. #7
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Its my way of life I dress this way all the time.
    I'm out as a TG person its just some days I appear with make up on and in full girl mode.
    Other days I'm the same just no or very little make up.
    I really don't know what to call me so "me " works fine.
    At the grocery or other places I might be referred to as Ma'am some places no reaction either way.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 02-06-2018 at 02:25 PM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    The South
    Its just being me. A part of my life. Not a hobby and not a secret and certainly not a dirty little secret. What's dirty about it?

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    It has evolved into a way of life.

    I've expressed my feelings on calling a hobby , too many people get hurt for that term .

    It's been secret for far too long and maybe it is a dirty secret to my wife .

    It's really an acceptance of my inner feelings , the outer appearance is enjoyable and tells the World how I feel inside . Across our spectrum there will always be someone who is offended we are all different , what makes one tick has no bearing on others .
    The real me ,no going back.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Riverside, CA near, Corona, Los Angeles.
    My wife calls it "your thing" that bothers me.
    For a while i called it cding, but I'd been changing more and more to transition so now it's my real life...
    The male presentation is for a while I can go trough the process to totally out. So every morning I wake up, do my hair, dress androgynous because I drop a girl from my wife's business at school, then get home and fully dress but no make up so if anybody shows up I can quickly change to male and I stay the rest of the day in that way except I had to do some errands.
    I'm waiting to move out to another house and go out with my kids so soon my life will be full time woman...
    So this is my life...
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane,
    At Instagram @nessatrans,

    Facebook, Vanessa Grandy from riverside, california.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Washington DC suburbs
    It’s a valid and honest question, and even I don’t have a simple one word description. So yes, it’s my secret, it’s my hidden 5% side, it’s life as a CD. Much like other things that I do to relax and relieve stress (swim, bike, run, hike), I don’t know why I’m drawn to certain hobbies and not others. Along those lines, dressing is also a bit of a hobby in the sense that there are tangible skills that needed to be mastered, practice makes perfection, and I enjoy the pursuit of becoming good at this hobby. Regardless of the name it’s also my stress outlet and key to being whole. I recently came to the revelation that I no longer want to suppress it, and I’m much better for dealing with whatever “it” is.

    Bottom line: “it” is all of those things wrapped into one, and “it” is also fundamentally woven into my personality.

  12. #12
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    San Jose, Ca, USA
    Both my wife and I call it "getting comfortable"...
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  13. #13
    Member Ariana225's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    “In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.”
    Etta Turner

    I conceded it just being myself. It’s the way I was programmed and I was born this way. I consider myself non binary the more I think of it. So dressing up in whatever I want is just that.

  14. #14
    carolyn todd carolyn todd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    isle of wight
    I would say got right at last.

    if i text some one or some one ask what i am doing i say I AM UP TO MISCHIEF.


  15. #15
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Rochester, NY
    Quote Originally Posted by ambigendrous View Post
    Both my wife and I call it "getting comfortable"...
    I might borrow this term

    But since I love dresses and skirts so much I usually use the term dressing.

  16. #16
    Member Rollermiss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    other side of the rainbow
    For me it is called living. I wear feminine clothing all the time I am not at work. Which requires specific work cloths but I have even gotten female versions of those too.


  17. #17
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    s.nj near Berlin
    Read my shirt
    Attached Images Attached Images
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member LeannS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    The nice side of Colorado
    I will also use the term getting comfortable. My time dressing has nothing to with sex as I am in a dadt relationship and even if I wasn't I wouldn't bring it into the bedroom.
    I enjoy the time that I get to dress up.
    If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.

  19. #19
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Orange County, California
    For me, a TG, its simply Necessary. My girl side MUST be expressed daily and as continuesly as circumstances permit.

  20. #20
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    I call it getting comfortable.
    Because when I am in a skirt, I am very comfortable.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Myrtle Beach SC
    I refer to it as "getting pretty ".

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Western Oklahoma
    Quote Originally Posted by Asew View Post
    I might borrow this term

    But since I love dresses and skirts so much I usually use the term dressing.
    Funny coincidence! Ny wife and I used that phrase for over 20 years.
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  23. #23
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    The choice of phrase is a label - and labels mean different things to different people. You might even choose to use one phrase to one person and a different one to another based on your understanding of what they associate with the phrase.
    To someone who knows nothing about crossdressing and only what the media shows about transexuals, and you wish to minimize what they think abut what they just discovered you do, you might call it a hobby. To your spouse who found your stash and is willing to calmly discuss, you might use dirty little secret or secret. Once you feel accepted by the person, you would likely call it a way of life. 'Your dressing' carries a bit more emotional baggage than 'hobby' and less than 'your secret'.
    If you aren't sure of the other person's thoughts on CDing, then "I don't know what to call it" covers your bases until you do.
    With your loving support, Monnica may now feel less guilt than many normally do, deviating from societal standards, and be able to call it "A way of life" to you, but not always to others.
    Other terms people have used is addiction, yet it does not respond to other addiction treatments. 'Pink fog' behavior is close to addiction behavior, so the term gets brought up.
    Hobby connotes, to me, a set of actions that a person chooses purely for enjoyment. We do get enjoyment, and a hobbyist will feel "disappointed" by not doing their hobby. If we don't get to dress, I think the word is a bit stronger. Maybe a runner's high is the level we get, and a runner who can't run might feel that withdrawal of natural endorphins (natural pain killers like opioids), again making it seem an addiction. But I think this is genetically in us to respond this way to feeling feminine (in whatever that means to each of us) so it is not as voluntary as a hobby like model trains. Many of us here have other hobbies like woodworking that we don't feel as strongly if we don't do it.

    I know you also write long explanations to try to fully get your point across correctly, so I tried to give a fuller opinion. YMMV
    Hugs, Ellen

  24. #24
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    New South Wales
    "This makes me uncomfortable!"

    It's a Stacy term!

    Fantastic picture Allisa, blue seems to be your colour too!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  25. #25
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    Put me in the “get comfortable”category. My supportive wife can’t understand and teases me about how can I be comfortable in hose, underwires, shapers, heels, etc. well, I can and do and am.

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