If you were starting over on this journey ....

[~Renee~]

Im finally accepting and enjoying this aspect of me and I am wondering ...

What would you do differently? What would you avoid? What was the best thing you did?

Thanks
~Renee~

[Joyce Swindell]

If I could start over with the knowledge I have now as far as my crossdressing goes, I would not have stayed married as long as I did the first time. I only say that I would marry the same due to my daughter and I wouldn't want to change that past for anything where she is concerned (other than make it better of course) As far as my CD'ing I would have not purged as much as I did for sure. I would have seeked out my current wife much earlier. I would have experimented much more while living at home and kept a good stash of my dresses and tings. Life would have been very different I am certain.

[Jaylyn]

I bet every one would do a few things different but I really can't think of any right now. I married the love of my life. She accepts me for who and what I am. As already mentioned I'd not have purged so much and maybe have tried to enjoy the dressing more.

[Heather J]

I would have accepted who I am and tried to live my life, not the kind society expected.

[Becky Blue]

Good question Renee, my biggest regret was ever allowing my body hair to grow.. if I had kept it smooth from the get go then there would be no issues with shaving ti now.. also as I have had face laser I regret doing it at around 48 yrs old not 30

[April Doe]

1) Not blame my younger self for not understanding. I once had my ears pierced three times. Once was professional. The other two times - punk rock, eh? I'll see if a professional can salvage the situation over the holidays (only 11 months away!). And the ponytail...

2) Guilt

3) Tell my wife

[2BArianwen]

I would have accepted who I am and tried to live my life, not the kind society expected.

I'm pretty much in agreement with Heather, and I'd do it without the guilt and self-loathing.

[Dana44]

When we were young. There was no way. But today is different. The best thing I did was find the right girl for me.

[Shayna]

2 things

1. Told my wife before we got married
2. Not purged (I got rid of some nice stuff)

[Helen_Highwater]

Two things. Come out to my SO before we married and travelled this road more quickly. Many lost years not knowing the joy of getting out and about.

[alwayshave]

Would have started going out much younger.

[NancySue]

1. Accept myself, 2. Told my wife, before we wed, 3. Continue to improve, i.e. makeup, style, etc, her help has been invaluable. Only regret is that I waited so long to go out for which there were community and social challenges.

[Stacy Darling]

Heather said it for me!

Differently? Come out at 22ish when I knew for certain I was.
Avoid? I would have avoided being so caring to people which are so shallow.
Best thing? OOOOh, Come out and lose contact with my family. I know where I stand!

Please don't read me as nasty or negative, It's just what's in my head as we speak.
My Journey!
Stacy!

[ginapoodle]

What is past is past. Water under the bridge. No looking back.
Culture has changed since the 1960s.
I coped my best given who I was at the time.

[Cheryl T]

Starting over as in my youth??
Well, firstly I would have come out in my teens and most likely have transitioned in my late teens, early 20's at the latest with all the knowledge I have now and all that is available to me at this point in time.

[Debra Russell]

I would go back to 12 yr old and have my prayers answered to wake up as a girl ...........................Debra

[Christie ann]

I would have invented the internet earlier so I would know I was not alone at a much younger age and then transitioned.

[Maria in heels]

I would have embraced Maria much more and not hidden her away in the closet for so many years. What i really would do differently now is explore Maria and her persona much more, meet other sisters who are comfortable as themselves too, and see where it goes. Growing up years ago, we didn't have the internet to meet and greet, and this is such a good thing for the "younger" generation now. As a young Maria, i never got the chance to even just talk with someone who understood what i was feeling and thinking because there just wasn't any way to do this. Going into NYC in the dark clubs was just not my thing...

[Teresa]

Renee,
This starting over question has been asked before, and the same answer still applies, I would still have to live with a trade off. Whether I married the right or wrong person is unimportant we still had some good times, and tough times, I may not have had my kids , who I think the World of , I wouldn't have been the proud father when giving my daughter away on her wedding day. I wouldn't have missed a single moment of the first Skiing holiday we all had with their partners and I couldn't imagine life without grandchildren.

Starting over might have possibly meant an earlier acceptance and possible transition , the big question is would I have been any happier ? I could have had SRS and been totally unhappy .

Sadly life is not what you make but often dictated by the actions of others, the lesson to learn is try and walk away from those people and the situation they create , in hindsight you are far better off , that's possibly the aspect I would do different .

The important journey is what is to come , I enjoy what CDing contributes to my life so I'm going to try and live it for a few years while my good health continues .

[Rachel Anne]

Interesting thought exercise....

I think we are all, to some extent, a victim of our times.

I often think about how I would have done things differently, transitioned in my youth, etc etc, and how much happier I might have been. But then I realized that the world of yesterday is not the world of today. The attitudes were far less hospitable, and the paths available far less numerous. Every choice that is made compounds the future, and it's impossible to say with any amount of certainly that taking a different step then would have resulted in any more or less happiness than one has now. It might have been good in the short term, but had less than desirable long term outcomes.

I do wish that the avenues for expression and the relative acceptance was the way it is now was available back when I was in my youth. That might have made things a lot easier and could have changed my direction, but there is nothing I can do about that and there is no point to dwell on it.

As said above...I do wish I hadn't purged that one time. I had some nice stuff. Should have gotten a storage unit instead.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sure I answer this question differently each time it comes around......

I think I would have transitioned at twenty if I knew what I know now.

There was a lot of doubt then.

I was on medication that gave me big aureolas and nubby breasts no beard growth and so on.

If I had known more I would have continued the treatment, sadly I stopped.

Mind you I wonder what might have been but I have been happily married a long time now and enjoy being out with the wife dressed.

When I was twenty I was living it up as a woman but going to work as a man.

The breasts started to show and became a problem.

[PamelaRI]

If I were in today's society, but in my 20s with the financial needs of my 20s, but as aware of my true self as I am today, I believe that I would seek counseling with the goal of transitioning. And while I love my SO and family, I wouldn't have married.

[Jane G]

I have a great life. So I wouldn't change a thing. You only get one go at it. So little point in speculating on if s buts and could have beens..

[Krea]

Jane,
This is exactly what i was thinking. I am happy with how things have turned out and i would not want to change things, even if i could. It might turn out far worse!

[Jenn A116]

Wow - good question. I think I'd come to terms with my CD'ing earlier. Not that I was ever in denial. Just that I didn't push my boundaries sooner. I'd probably have done some permanent hair removal and spent time learning about hair & makeup. Oh, and I would have bought a nice pair of attachable breast forms much sooner that I did (just a month ago).