Overpass the pain of losing money

[Marihanne]

Hello, girls, I, again, tell you all girls about my probleeeem.
Firstly... I have to say, I am not a richlady in CD-ing, also poor in real life, I collected item to CD by buying them.... and I chosen cheap things, sadly

Luckily, some of female clothes are cheap but still sexy, as long as it can cover over my CD parts

Secondly..... I think it will be bored if I keep going with poor things, so I cost my money to buy something more expensive.... Like women, I think the more expensive clothes, the nicer (or sexier) the wearer become.

But, I think the money should be spend to the right thing, I mean.... If buying fem clothes for CDing is right or not....

Today, I've bought a new hair, and a new skirt, it costs me for 700.000 vnđ (in my country, 1 tigerbeer can as 330ml cost 15000 vnđ) So.... I feel.... Pain, of course.


Several days ago, I thought so much, that If I don't buy them, I still spend that 700.000 vnđ for some stupid plan (for example: eating, pay card for calling) so..... I decided to buy something really meaningful.

But now, I felt pain, the pain of losing a big money (( oh my god.... but if I don't buy it, I will never stop thinking about buying it ((

Let us stay here and discuss how to feel right about spending money for CDing (((

[Asew]

I grew up very poor. Pretty much all my clothes were bought at second hand thrift stores. Now that I have a good job, my wife and kids always buy new clothes but I continue to buy clothes at thrift stores. My mother in law doesn't like my wardrobe so she is always getting me giftcards to get clothes along with left over Kohls cash to use to buy clothes.

Since I am not public about my dressing, I don't want to spend a lot of money on it so I will continue to use thrift stores and this cool new wholesaler place which is nearly thrift store prices for new clothes. (Though emotionally I want to buy so many things luckily my logical side stops me).

[Stacy Darling]

Rich or Poor Marihanne does not seem to make that much difference when It comes to the way a lot of us spend $ on clothing and accessories.

We can take a credit card to a shop and spend 7000.000 vnd if we like to, or we can not spend 90.000 vnd on Tigers and spend that 90.000 on clothes. We have these choices to make, our self.

As long as I have food on the table and a roof over my head I can spend some money on my things. If I have big bills to pay I don't buy new nail polish. That's how I see it and do it.

Most important thing is being able to sleep at night knowing that you have done what you thought best at the time, and if we spend too much this week maybe no tigerbeer next week.

And no picture of your beautiful new skirt?

Don't stress too much Marihanne!
Stacy!

[Laura912]

As has been suggested, find a balance between those things you need to live and the occasional treat for you. Finding thrift stores in your country may be difficult unless in the larger cities. Are there any friends that you might ask for their old clothes? I realize that is risky because it could lead to you being outed. But whatever you do, never purge (get rid of your girl clothes) because they were hard to get and you will want more.

[Marihanne]

None of my friends can be asked for old clothes, especially in the area of some vietnammien girls

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Rich or Poor Marihanne does not seem to make that much difference when It comes to the way a lot of us spend $ on clothing and accessories.

We can take a credit card to a shop and spend 7000.000 vnd if we like to, or we can not spend 90.000 vnd on Tigers and spend that 90.000 on clothes. We have these choices to make, our self.

As long as I have food on the table and a roof over my head I can spend some money on my things. If I have big bills to pay I don't buy new nail polish. That's how I see it and do it.

Most important thing is being able to sleep at night knowing that you have done what you thought best at the time, and if we spend too much this week maybe no tigerbeer next week.

And no picture of your beautiful new skirt?

Don't stress too much Marihanne!
Stacy!

I'am stuck between two choice:
- spend big money for hair and skirt
- save money for good feeling (nothing happen, but strangely I feel better when got money in the pocket)

[Tracii G]

Beautifully said Stacy.
Priorities come first.

[Fiona123]

I would not feel bad for spending money on feminine clothes if the clothes help you feel complete, authentic and happy, the money is well spent.

[docrobbysherry]

Sorry, Marihanne, I don't agree with your motivation or results. Here's why:

When I first began dressing I didn't know anything about women's things, what I wanted, or what things would look like on me. So, altho then and now I could afford to buy whatever I wanted. But, I didn't want to waste money until I knew what I was doing. So, I bought cheap mail order things and eventually starting shopping at our many thrift stores. (I know u don't have those in Vietnam.)

Only after 10+ years of dressing did I finally know what I wanted, what looked good on me, what fem items were worth spending real money on. And only now, after dressing for 20 years, can I recall spending over $300! My silicone female suit costs $850!

It is my belief that u have wasted your money by paying $700 for a wig and skirt. I buy skirts and wigs mail order and pay under $25 for each including shipping. (Even cheaper from China).

On the other hand, you've learned something by doing this haven't u? I'll bet u won't do it again!

[Mark/Rebecca]

I do believe that if you buy nicer things you will think long and hard before you purge them, So far this has held true as I have bought truly elegant lingerie and have decided to start buying quality in my outfits. I recently bought a skirted suit from JCP and while I love it I now wish I had bought Ann Taylor or better because I consider it an investment and too expensive to purge. Plus I feel it necessary to wear my newer prettier more expensive dresses and outfits more often to justify having them. win win.

[Tracii G]

A lot of big name brand more expensive clothes are made in China or other countries in Asia right along side of all the cheap stuff so paying more doesn't mean a difference in quality much these days.
Now if they bring clothing mfg back to the states and they go back to making higher quality products I'm all for that too.
Clothes made in China are fine with me because I am not trying to impress anyone with what clothes I wear and how much I paid for it.
You are free to buy what you like and spend way more if you want to. I'm all for freedom of choice.

[Sami Brown]

The skirt looks really nice, Marianne. I can see why you didn't want to pass it by.

My personal philosophy about money is that it isn't spent until you have enough for necessities and have saved money for when something goes wrong or is unexpected. Once a person has these taken care of, it doesn't matter what you spend your money on. If you prefer quality, buy quality. If you are still experimenting, buy less expensive items. Do whatever makes you happy without worry, because you have been responsible with your money by affording your necessities and built your savings first.

Sami

[Lana Mae]

I mostly agree with Sami! As long as the bills are paid(monthly) and there is some in savings, just in case money! I am free to spend the balance anyway I want! And sometimes some of the savings gets spent as well but gets built up over time! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Terri_Cross]

As long as all the bills are paid, and everything, or everybody else is taken care of, that money is yours to do with as you see fit. Now don't get me wrong, I completely understand the buyer's remorse, or guilty feelings that come with buying a piece, or two, of feminine finery. As a matter of fact, I'm doing quite a bit of saving for that now for an upcoming shopping trip during my multi-state travels. I have no doubt, whatsoever, that I'll feel at least a little guilty spending so much money on higher end bras and panties and other lingerie. But, it will give me the feeling of an accomplishment so, it won't be all that bad. I hope

[Kelly DeWinter]

Have you thought about Sewing ? often times it's cheaper to take clothes and remake them into new designs. The internet youtube has some great videos on how to. Also you may want to make friends with some gals. Sometimes people sell things at a low price or give articles of clothing away. A great site for inexpensive clothes is etsy

[Ressie]

It is my belief that u have wasted your money by paying $700 for a wig and skirt. I buy skirts and wigs mail order and pay under $25 for each including shipping. (Even cheaper from China).

On the other hand, you've learned something by doing this haven't u? I'll bet u won't do it again!

700.000 vnđ = 3¢ American

Is that right?

[Amelie]

I have always been poor. Been homeless for a time as a teen and now I live in a trailer. What did I do? I learned to sew. I make all my clothes. You can buy cheap clothes that don't fit, might be too small or too big, they can be altered to fit. Add fabric to small items and cut fabric from larger items of clothes. Or buy some cheap fabric and make your own designs. You then can wear clothes that are one of a kind if you mix fabrics. Be inventive, when money is hard to obtain figure ways to get stuff you need. I was always a scavenger looking for items I can fix and use again.

[CynthiaD]

I feel that money spent on female clothing is always money well spent. I wear female clothing every day and get a lot of use out if my female clothes. If dressing were only an occasional thing I might be more hesitant about spending the money.

[SometimesJen]

Hi Marihanne. I'm also not rich, but I've been able to build a nice wardrobe over time by watching for good values when and where I can find them. Many of my femme clothes came from second hand stores, garage or estate (household) sales, clothing exchanges at churches, and a few trusted friends and SO's. My friends have also learned that I watch out for them and exchange things to people who need them so when they have something they no longer need, they will pass them to me and I will pass them on to others. I've received several nice clothes this way.

As Amelie suggested, if you learn to sew you can buy some pieces for next to nothing because of a small tear, hole, or a strap coming loose then fix them. You can also adjust the fit and tailor them to fit you.

Regardless how you get your clothes, I have to agree with Sami. Pay your bills first. Save some money for emergencies and to have some in your pocket next. (I always save at least 6 months of expenses and keep 2-4 weeks of income for spending.) Only after these are taken care of, then pay for the things you want but not need. Whether you buy few expensive things or more cheaper things is up to you.

To help others put your numbers in perspective, Google says 15,000 vnd (Vietnamese Dong) is $0.66 USD. 700,000 vnd is $30.87 USD. Another way to put it in perspective is to ask how long does it take you to save that much money? If it takes you a couple days, I wouldn't worry about it (after you have your bills and pocket money taken care of). If it takes several months, that would definitely be something to think about before buying.

By the way, I like the purple top and jeans in your avatar and love your new white skirt!

[Rhian]

I look it in a similar way to how you do. How much could I drink on a night out for this and how many more hours of fun it is going to give me? It's no worse to spend money on women's clothes than on football, vodka, video games, expensive male clothes etc and even if you're poor you still need to enjoy your life. As long as all your bills are paid there's no reason to feel guilt.