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Thread: Do you ask permission?

  1. #26
    Senior Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    If it's a sunny day and we have the front door open enjoying the light, I may ask my wife if she minds I close the door to dress.

  2. #27
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    The only time I "ask permission" is if I can tell my wife is in a bad mood, and I have the desire to dress.

    Other than that I dress when I want which is a couple times a week.

  3. #28
    Silver Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    have never had to ask, but I have informed her when I will be heading out dressed just for the heads up.
    Jamie

  4. #29
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I used to ask for permission, but not so much any more. Asking for permission was more likely to turn into an argument. If I still decided to go out, I would often feel guilty about it, and not have as much fun.

    Now, I mostly ask for "forgiveness". By that I mean that I tell her I'm going out, rather than asking if I may go out. She always wants to know when I expect to be back. I'd like to say, "After midnight", but I usually give her a specific time. It's almost as bad as asking for permission. It shouldn't really matter how long I'm out; she's in bed by 9 PM anyhow.

    What really got me frustrated is that my adult daughter (who lives in the basement) does not have a curfew. Why should I have one. Although, we even ask our daughter to text us if she's not coming home. No other questions asked.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me.

  5. #30
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Our wives may be horrified to see us prancing around in a tutu and six inch heels. Or just the thought of us pretending to be females.

    Society in general does not accept men pretending that they are women as normal. Again, this can affect our careers.

    We, as individuals, have to evaluate how our dressing will affect our lives and future. Some of us may be single and not tied down to a career while others may be married, have a family and a career that needs to be protected.

    Don't feel intimidated if you don't give yourself permission to come out to the world as a crossdresser. You need to do what's best for yourself and your loved ones.
    You have said a lot in your post. It is all about personal circumstances...isn't it?

  6. #31
    Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    As several have already said it's not so much about asking permission but having open communication with my wife. No different than when she tells me she is going to be out all day doing her silversmithing. Which coincidentally is usually a good Danielle opportunity

  7. #32
    Member Ozark's Avatar
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    I dress androgynous so most of the time I'm just wearing my everyday clothing. I've mentioned before the 'rule of three'....for every three items of clothing I wear one must be drab, or should be drab.... I usually wear men's or women's fishing shirts with women's jeans or shorts, so no I don't ask permission.

    Sometimes, in the evening, if my wife is in the mood, she will ask me if I want to get into 'something pretty' ... I have a closet full of pajamas, gowns and robes, mostly by Vanity Fair and Shadowline...I will put one of those on.

    When things are tense between us, and not related to clothing, I don't wear anything pretty ...just don't feel like it, like I'm punishing myself.

    so, in a sense, I don't ask permission, she gives me permission...

  8. #33
    Member Krea's Avatar
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    At home my wife is generally ok with me dressing as i want.
    The only time that i specifically ask her what she thinks is when i want to try-out something completely new. It's important that i know if she feels ok with what i want to try and i welcome her constructive criticism.
    So far we have managed to find a happy balance like this. Long may it continue....
    "Welcome to my scene. A place that's in-between. Where the squares fit the rounds."
    (Song lyrics - Queensryche)

  9. #34
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    Micki’s post is totally spot on in terms of our relationship. It truly is not permission but rather open communication and common courtesy.

  10. #35
    Member LeannS's Avatar
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    No I do not ask for permission. We talk a lot about things but not about my dressing
    oh she knows about what I do but that is why I am in a dadt better just alone.
    I now have 5 days of being able to dress If I need to go out now it will be during the day time or when she is away.
    and to me that is ok
    If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.

  11. #36
    Junior Member Katie Lynn cd's Avatar
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    I always ask as to when is a good time for me to dress. Not sure if I see it as permission or just good communication between my wife and I.

  12. #37
    Dandizette LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Ask permission? You're kidding, right! I would never have the effrontery to ask anything of The Goddess. She would stomp my fingers as I groveled on the ground before Her and deservedly so. My role is anticipate and fulfill Her desires before She expresses them and to ask nothing for myself. If She has to express a desire, I have already failed. But other than that, I do as I please. I'm not a doormat, Ya'know!

  13. #38
    Member Genny B's Avatar
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    I used to feel guilty and cancel plans to go out if I hadn't told my wife and them I finally figured out that I just had to tell her I was invited to join some friends out and I ask her if she would like to join us. The answer has always been a firm no but for me to be safe. That takes the guilt off my back...

    Genny B
    Genny B
    All Girl on the inside!

  14. #39
    Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    Like many here, it's not so much asking permission, as keeping aware. My wife doesn't like surprises, so whenever I exit the bedroom dressed I shout out "Skirt Alert", and it's working really well.

  15. #40
    Junior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I like the "skirt alert"

  16. #41
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    What's the old saying? "Happy Wife Happy Life"
    Two years ago I tried to be opened and honest with the wife about my dressing and things went very bad!
    For me I find life to be so much easer to be back in the closet.
    Some times I bum out that she doesn't except who I am!

    I think dressing is so much FUN!
    Even today my wife said Pink isn't for men!
    I said "women want full equal rights and can wear anything they want, lace, any color, dresses, pants, but men should never wear lace, pink, or dresses!
    Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 02-14-2018 at 07:59 PM.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!

  17. #42
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    Permission? Well, not really. Part of my reluctance to come out to my wife was a fear of rejection and shame. Knowing that she’s OK with my dressing at home really helps me alleviate the shame aspect of it, and communicating when I’d like to dress is in both of our best interests. She encourages me to me to remain open and home and she’s OK with me dressing (minus wig, makeup) whenever she’s around, and it’s really amazing being dressed with her and having her accept me in my favorite dress and heels! If she’s not at home, I’d always want her to know that I’m dressed simply so that she can give me a head’s up when she’s on her way home with the kids or any of her friends.

    So for me, it’s not so much about permission as it is about communication and mutual support. But since since my dressing has always been linked to shame, having her “permission” really helps me feel more comfortable when dressed.

    Hope that makes sense.

  18. #43
    Junior Member Jessica May's Avatar
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    I am also with Micki on this one. I absolutely talk to my wife about it out of respect for her feelings. She supports me and sometimes even is the one to suggest I have some Jess time when the moment is right. So it is not out of here controlling just us keeping the waves of communication open for the benefit of our relationship and family

  19. #44
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Thanks my friends for your various interesting answers and observations. It's nice to be here chatting with the "gang" again. Have a great weekend everyone.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  20. #45
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    For the first couple of weeks after I dressed fully, last year when I told/showed my lovely wife, I did ask, but she insisted I didn't need to ask, and that it's my house, I can wear what I want.

    I'm quite lucky in this regard.

  21. #46
    It's just who I am DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    I never ask permissionto do anything. Having said that, I never choose to do anything that I would not get permission to do. I would not share my life with someone who would not let me do what I want and I would not expect my wife to ask for permission to do anything she wants. We are grown ups.

  22. #47
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Hi Kate, when my wife was alive it wasn't asking for permission, but there were times when I knew it would not go over well if she was in the wrong mood. It was a matter of communication. Now I don't need to ask permission from anyone, especially society. But Kate you know that, I march to the beat of my own drummer.

  23. #48
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    Permissions? No. All my stuff is in a girl cave in a heated / cooled storage facility four km away. There is no possibility of contact, so no need to consider acting permission.

  24. #49
    Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Kate,
    It depends on what you mean by "being yourself".
    I am always the same person whatever I am wearing and need no permission to do that. However I do check sometimes that it is appropriate to crossdress; usually by telling my wife - "I am just going to get changed now!"... just in case she has made other plans for the evening.
    luv J

  25. #50
    Silver Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I do ask for permission. My wife is fully aware of Alice and has seen her many times. I always ask for permission before dressing, knowing that I will dress. It is a way of letting her know I need to do this. She has never said no and if she did I would respect her wish. She accepts my need for dressing even thought she does not wish to be a part of it.

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