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Thread: Why do they say things that way?

  1. #1
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    Why do they say things that way?

    What might be some words, phrases or idioms that are almost exclusively used by females when they talk that may be of value to us as women when we converse?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    I am not a woman and I don't think I try to talk like one but I don't remember any male friends calling me hunny (hun), sweetie, sugar...

    Nor have they ever started a sentence with, "Would you be a dear and..."

  3. #3
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    There's the obvious stuff like what Tracy mentioned. One thing I often notice is not so much individual words, but just generally more expressive words, a greater use of adjectives, colorfully and in a more positive way. Also, women tend to use names of who they are speaking too more frequently. Overall just more expressive.

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    What it comes down to is GG's are not afraid to express their emotions. So they speak more emotionally and use more words and phrases that convey their feelings.

    Unlike us GM's and our "just the facts ma'am" way of communicating.

  5. #5
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    [Do I really have to moderate here?] Do let's keep it on-topic please. The topic is NOT tattoos. The OP asked a simple question.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

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    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I'm not sure if this is where you're headed, not so much words, but women do seem to complement each other more often in either clothing or an accessory. And the receiver of the complement seems to take it as a complement coming from another female, rather than as a come on if it's from a male.

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    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jenny,

    Firstly I think it will vary from country to country but having said that the sentiment will be similar. I can think of; "Oh, " and then something like, I know what you mean , or " I'm so sorry/glad for you". "tell me about it".

    At the heart of all these will be empathy. Acknowledging the other's pain or distress, good news or disasters. Often there's the physical aspect of it. The sympathetic touch on the arm, hand or knee. The element of reassurance. Add to this the facial expression. The open mouth and wide eyes looking directly at the other person. All designed to make contact with the other participant.

    GG's learn these techniques from an early age. That's not to say we can't do a bit of catch up. Observation is the key, added to this is the willingness to let go of our normal male reserve and communicate at this, a more personal level. Practice, it needs practice.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

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    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    As a man I still make eye contact with women and smile, I do get this "habit" returned.

    I do not use Honey, pet or address anyone in a feminine way when in drab as it sounds like a pedantic gay man.

    I am a emulating a woman when dressed and honey does come into my vocabulary then.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  9. #9
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    men tell facts, women tell stories. Don't mean that in a bad way. But look at a simple interaction like "how was your day?" and the men will brush it off with a simple recitation of the things that happened. Women will construct a story about their day, with side notes about their co-workers, or observations on some else's mood or particular difficulties.
    we were going to some friend's house over the holidays and I asked my wife what time she wanted to leave. I expected an answer like "Eleven o'clock." Instead what I got was a story that she told our friend that she is going to pick up dessert so we needed to stop at the bakery and we probably should take a bottle of wine & so needed to stop and pick up pickup a bottle, so we probably should get on our way by late morning if we're gonna get there in time since our friend wants to have dinner by three."
    Last edited by audreyinalbany; 02-15-2018 at 08:48 AM.

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    Sharing compliments and small talk along with always ready to give a smile! Adding positive adjectives and embelishments to their speech. Obviously common ones that come to mind, cute, lovely, gorgeous, amazing, sweet...

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    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    A good book on the topic is Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation. It's a bit dated but very interesting. She posits that women speak the language of intimacy/connection while men speak the language of independence/hierarchy -- in very broad terms (whenever you get down to individuals most of these "women do X, men do Y" kinds of arguments fall apart.)
    Last edited by Pat; 02-15-2018 at 09:36 PM. Reason: can't spell
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Could be women are not afraid to be called a female and show feeling toward each other by using tender words toward each other. Where men try not to show tenderness, love or compassion. Maybe if we thought more of the tenderness, love and compassion toward others and not be scared to be vocal we might use the same words as women and say dear, Hun, sweetie, and sugar. Just a thought. I know my wife has used kind words like "be a sweetie and zip up my dress in the back for me". She usually throws a love word in before she asks me to do something.

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    My ex could talk a politician to death! She often calls someone, blabs on and on before hanging up. Then, will have to call them back to discuss the reason she originally called them but forgot to mention!

    But, many women talk a lot without saying anything. Men, not so much.
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    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Spend a few days watching the view, the talk, anything by oprah, just pick some shows where the audience is 90% female. You'll get plenty of examples of how women talk. You can also pick up a few books by Alan and Barbara Pease on how men and women communicate differently. They're very enlightening.
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    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Unless you're going to look at eg MadMen for feminine inspiration, I'd have to say that today's conversation is more or less unisex; only the topics themselves are likely to be conspicuously m/f, eg baseball v relationships.

    I know what you're looking for is the verbal equivalent of the hair-flick or elbows-in-as-you-walk, but I think it's pretty tough to single out gender-specific words, phrases or idioms. Much of it boils down to your own notion of what constitutes femininity.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  16. #16
    Junior Member Lizzy Straite's Avatar
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    I agree with Nikki that words have been blended more so of late. One thing my wife points out to me is my emotions or excitement of the topic or item that is being discussed. When we talk about anything feminine then my tone and inflection changes. Also she points out my body language. Same basic words but totally sounding more feminine. As I travel this road, more and more everyday subjects are fitting into this category. However, when I slip into talking about cars, former career, or anything stored in the barn then.......it's back to the old ways lol. I know this was about words and phrases but I thought I'd share my two cents.
    Lizzy

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