Retirement plans, Good or bad.

[Maria 60]

We were having the end of the week relaxing glass of wine and my wife was telling me that this year she is thinking of packing it up at work and maybe start planning something different for a early retirement. She added that a few years later that I could probably start doing the same if I want and if nature takes it part and we remain healthy and the kids leave the nest as they start there own journeys, we could slow things down ourselves. I could see she was thinking about it and then she said, that's when Maria is going to evolve, that's when I'm going to have more time on my hands and the real Maria is going to come out.
I told her it's nice to look ahead but I can't plan that, things change in life, I told her I had 5 people at work early retire last year and 4 of them are back to work not even after a year. When they came back I had to ask why would they want to come back to work for, are they crazy. One told me he retired a few years earlier then his wife because he wanted to renovate his house, but he told me not to get him wrong he has 5 grandchildren and he loves them to death. His kids started to relying on him to pick them up at school and bringing them to school etc, etc, long story short he couldn't say no to his children and a year went by and he didn't even start his renovation and was disappointed his children were selfish but he did enjoy spending time with his grandchildren but that wasn't why he retired early so he decided to go back to work.
Another one his son moved in with them temporary while they were building there new home, his son lost his job and the over spending and now the house is in stand still until he gets his life back in order, but in the mean time he has his sons family of 5 packed in his home and it looks like he's not going anywhere for a long time. So he came back to work to get back his sanity.
Another women's daughter was in University away from home and she graduated and couldn't find a job there, so she came home but not alone with a boyfriend, they both didn't have a job and they were in her face all day and she came back to work to get some space from them.
I told my wife we don't know what twist and turns our life's our going to take, I told her our siblings are useless and more then likely we are going to be our parents caregivers and what's going on now doesn't mean its going to be the same a few years from now.
I do look forward to early retirement but I don't include Maria in the plans and just like now, I will deal with Maria on a day to day basis, but it was disappointing when my co- workers came back to work but i do read a lot of happy retirement stories here.
If anyone here wants to share, maybe you can wright me a good or a bad retirement story to give me some idea what to look forward to, or not. Lol

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I find it deeply poignant that their own children drove them back to work!

Clearly the moral of the story is by all means take early retirement - just don't tell the kids. If they ask how come you're around so much during the day, tell them you have leprosy.

As a self-employed person, I have been 'semi-retired' for many years. Because I'm a builder and I love the work, the line is totally blurred between working and not working. I know retirement is far harder when it is abrupt, after a lifelong career of 9-5.

I wish you the very best of luck with the decision Maria.

[Laura912]

A great piece of advice from a late friend, “Make sure you retire to something, not from something.” So, woodworking, flying, and Laura time, the latter nearly always in some form. Or is that with forms? If there is nothing for me to do, I go a little nuts but would never go back to practice. Been out too long, ten years, and there are too many suits running all over the hospital. (Still wonderful nurses, though.) So, as long as our health holds, we stay the course and try to avoid the retirement home...there are too many old people there!

[audreyinalbany]

I also don't think that you necessarily need to retire in order for Maria to evolve. It's not an either/or proposition,unless, of course your wife wants you to transition.

[Sidney]

When my wife and I retired the kids, in their 40's, did try to get us to pick up/bring the grand kids here or there. Finally I told them your grandparents didn't raise you, we did. I tired now, you raise your kids. Dont get me wrong we love our children and grandchildren and they know that BUT we don't make that our lives. Our time now is our time and for each other for whatever time we have left together. We just recently lost some close friends to cancer. As the saying goes don't wait for tomorrow because it's not guaranteed. Enjoy your retirement, you earned it.

[Tracii G]

I love retirement and people told me you will want to come back to work ummmm no I'm fine and after 40 years doing that job I was tired of it and that would be the last thing I would want to do if I started working again.
I'm fortunate I don't have to work I know that. I have hobbies that I do to keep me occupied or I can sit on the PC and kill time or go back to bed LOL
I'm with Yendis and I do love my kids and grand kids but its the parents job to raise them not mine.

[CONSUELO]

Laura said it well. Think of it not as retirement but entering another phase of your life.

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know where I ever found the time to go to work. So unless your job is the primary focus of your life, there may be hope for a successful retirement. Go to a professional retirement counselor or seminar to see what you need to do so you can afford to retire. Finances shouldn't be the deciding factor, so do that research as well. What do you want to do in retirement?

I was kind of forced into retirement at age 59, as there were significant changes in structure where I worked that were going to lead to a very unsatisfying remainder of my career. After that moment I was able to focus on the last several years of my wife's life as she battled cancer and I was there to support her brother, my only sibling and both her parents as they passed. It wasn't all bad. When she could, we traveled, celebrated new babies and weddings, new careers for the kids and achievements by their children. I've been able to work on my house, grow as Sarah and become more involved in my community. I have time to myself, flexibility to do things when I want and still have goals to attain and mysteries in my life to solve.

I can mostly avoid driving in rush hour traffic.

Although my oldest son and his kids are living with me, I'm still going to sell the house and we will all have to move along. I've done my time doing service for others and need to focus on the time I have left, regardless of how long that may be.

[Dana44]

I am retired and still writing and working on a project. I am 66 and going fine. Retirement is good.

[Monique65]

I'm in my third year of retirement. If I'd known it was this good, I'd have retired long before I started working.

[kayegirl]

Maria, I took an early retirement/voluntary redundancy package from my career just after my 52nd birthday, that's almost 16 years now. Initially I set up a little business of my own, hard physical graft, but so much more fulfilling than the desk I had driven for 37 years. I was also doing a bit of casual chauffeur drive work. Then after 4 years I was forced to give up my business, arthritis in my elbows made it too painful to keep going. However I could still drive, even got my licence to drive a large coach or double decker bus, and I still drive on a casual basis. Throughout all of this my Kaye time has grown and grown, it helps that I have an understanding wonderful wife My point is that life is too short, don't live for work, rather work to live. Retire while you can still enjoy the time.

[Rayleen]

I worked for some 47 yrs, enough is enough..been retired for about 13 yrs, but caretaker and volunteer to keep me busy.

As they said...no guarantee after you're up there in age. Now is time for some leisure time for my hobby.

[susan54]

I am in a halfway house - I am semi-retired so I work part-time. I used to imagine that I would go out more regularly as Susan and perhaps even do mundane things like my main food shop dressed as Susan. Instead of going out more I go out less because I am doing lots of other stuff at home (though in a dress). I feel I have ticked off everything on the Susan bucket list and there is no longer any challenge involved in going out. I had my toes pedicured for years - never even had to cut my own toenails but only one a year or so now. Life moves on but it doesn't always go in the direction you expect. I have no regrets about going part time and love my work and my leisure. The main advantage is having more time for friends and I am so lucky that some of these are very lovely women I met as Susan but I now meet up with them as me as well as being Susan. I would never have met these women if I had not been dressed.

[Vikky]

Like Nikki I have been self employed for many years. Was full time, but now work as and when it pleases or when a good job comes along. Also keep busy with voluntary work. Keeps the brain up and running. Would hate to just suddenly pack up.
Vikky

[wanda66]

Maria,
First and foremost for me was, When, friends told me to start in spring or summer ,and like anything else you have to have something to “work” for. Golf traveling hiking fishing reading cross dressing whatever . Personally I miss the people , work was all consuming for 40yrs , my largest adjustment was my “better half “ . Married for 50 yrs and most of that was on the road. Do the things you always wanted to do! And enjoy . To wake up in the mornings and realize I can do what I want to do,not what I have to do ,is a great feeling
GOOD lUCK.
P.S.
Great legs by the way

[ginapoodle]

Retirement is what you make of it, like life in general. For me, retired 2 years: a huge healing of physical and mental and emotional health. It took time though to recover. I lost 20 pounds, I take time to exercise, I meditate and work on Spiritual health. Much travel also, and time to care for my mother, and FIL (Alzheimer's--although that is mostly done).

Maintain you core, important friendships is one of my main advice themes: those people that are really important, and that click with your personality.

Be ready to spend more time with yourself. Hobbies, and many interests help a lot.

In any case do have your financial ducks in a row: seek a quality investment advisor, have a plan.

Life is short, use it well. Carpe Diem. YMMV.

[sometimes_miss]

A great piece of advice from a late friend, “Make sure you retire to something, not from something.”

Nope. Just realize that things will change. The guys who I've seen have the most difficulty, were the ones who either: 1. were in a position of power, being consulted for their expertise, or managing other people's lives. 2. derived their self worth by their position as wage earner/provider. The 'power junkies' felt the need to be respected and feared, and lost that feeling when retired, sometimes so much that they felt the need to somehow recapture it by finding a replacement position, such as an officer in a homeowners association where they could once again wield power over other people. The other group felt a loss of importance, especially those whose retirement earnings were decreased to the point where they could no longer spend as much on others as they once did, essentially feeling emasculated because they were no longer feeling thanked for their contributions to others.

You don't have to have something of importance in particular to retire 'to'.

like anything else you have to have something to “work” for.

Again, the whole concept of needing some sort of activity to make yourself feel important. Not necessary once you realize that nobody's really all that important anyway, but most people's egos can't stand the idea that they're not important.

As far as all those who have adult kids who are taking advantage of you, tell 'em all to get lost. Or, just escape to some other situation where you can claim you can't help them from there. I purchased a retirement home on the other side of the continent, and extended an open invitation to my old friends who's families are taking advantage of them. One in particular was made the unofficial dog sitter, to an unappreciative doggy. Now whenever they want him to dog sit, he simply says he's going to be out of state for that period of time. If no kennel will accept the dog because it's so disruptive, then he shouldn't be having it dumped on him, either. Another is in the same situation as some of you; family using him as a free worker. Fixing up his daughter's home, wife kept her parents house and has him rehabilitating that, I simply invited him to 'go fishing' at my new place.

Both these guys are thrilled to be able to escape the nutty family.

So if you're in that situation, do yourself a favor; find an 'out' to get away and do what you want, or, even just go somewhere and do almost nothing. Sitting on the boardwalk drinking a few beers every day, watching the girls go by, listening to the music from the inside of the bar, is just fine with me. You might find it to be just fine retirement behavior for you, too. Really want to work? Habitat for humanity will always take you on until you claim you're too old to work so much, then you can always go back when you're 'rejuvenated'.

[Beverley Sims]

I wonder about this myself, when you retire you may have to become hermits.

With time on your hands children like to think that parents are great babysitters for grandchildren.

More unexpected visitors for tea and scones also. :-)

[Krisi]

I retired and moved 500 miles from my children and grandchildren. I see them a couple times a year. If they want to see me more often, they can drive the 500 miles.

I keep relatively busy in my retirement.

I think the most important thing is to be sure you have enough money to retire and do the things you want to do. Too many folks retire and outlive their savings. Plan ahead and plan well.

[Stephanie Kimberlie]

I have been retired for 5 years and keep myself busy reading and on my computer. Also it gives me more time to me my real self. Retirement is what you make of it.

[lingerieLiz]

I enjoy retirement. I've retired several times. I can hang with my wife and her women friends. We go shopping and dining. I used to travel almost full time. Didn't work that many hours but had to be available there. Gave me a lot of shopping time.

[IleneD]

Full time retirement is NOT for the faint of heart. It is damn busy and demanding.
But.... I would have no other way. The last thing I need or want is a job, especially one where I need to ask my 37 yr old supervisor's permission for time off to see my family. Ain't happening.

[Rachelakld]

retirement is about living your lives, not about housing someone else, raising children etc - you already had your turn and now it's someone else's turn.

Lay the rules down early - arrange visits, grandchildren may overnight twice a month etc.

And do retire into a project, going from busy to nothing to do is as much a killer and playing "chicken" with freight trains.

[Sarah V]

Very interesting to read this right now, as I have been thinking about my present retirement situation. In early 2015 I officially retired from my main working career (the Forces), had a wonderful 27.5 year career, and financially I have a very good retirement and financial security. But like most, I was told/advised, that I would "want" to work in retirement, so that is what I did, and actually got a job working for a local municipality 1/2 time doing something in a field I always had a great interest in. I like what I do, but don't earn a lot since it is part-time, but not bad hourly pay for the work/area. So all good there.

However, I am really thinking I want to be done working. I will now be working for 36 yr's straight now. I think I've had enough. I have plenty of hobbies (and yes, being Sarah is indeed my favorite and certainly a major hobby ), but I have others I want to do----I own a ton of toys, I have not even begun to have fun with. Also, my osteoarthritis which is significant is starting to bother me more, and I really want to do some traveling now while I can, before (and if) it continues to get worse,which I am afraid it might. Plus, as one poster above has said, I am not into having to ask permission from a 30 year old, if I can have the day off. However I do have some similar issues going on where I work, and I get the feeling that a few of the full time staff do not appreciate me as many of the other staff do, because other department employee's folks tend to see me working very hard (it's the military that does it to us) where they are not,--I kinda crimp their style if you know what I mean, but unfortunatley these are the direct group (o.k., I'll say it--of women (I am the only guy who works with them) that I work with. Basically I don't need to work or be caught up in their drama any longer----even though I do like my work and what I do.

So for an upcoming birthday present I am thinking of telling my boss--well this is it! I am done. Only thing is I am only going to be 53 yr's old, and most people whom I have been discussing this with (minus telling them about the Sarah part), think I am crazy to fully retire so soon. A lot of the folks who live in my community are about earning big salaries and earning as much money as they can. But my situation is not theirs, though it's the community standard, and, no, I have no desire to move.

So this is interesting to read your ladies perspective on it. Any other's who have retired earlier (in age) I would love to hear your thoughts.

[kimdl93]

I really am looking forward to what I’m going to call retirement, some 33 months from now. I will dial it back a bit, I don’t plan on becoming a hermit or growing moss. I will use the time to pursue a number of interests...personal and professional. By then I hope to have my private pilots license and be well along towards getting instrument rated.

then I plan on becoming a bush pilot....no seriously flying is just something I love. I just hope to get good at it for a while before someone makes me quit. I’d like to spend some time building low impact, efficient and sustainable lake homes, starting with my own. Unlike you crafts people, I’m more of a rough carpentry, jack of all trades, master of none, kind of girl. I’ll leave the finish carpentry and detail work to people with better knees, younger eyes and more patience.

Ill probably do do some consulting on health care and non profit management...seems I’m good at not managing to make a profit!

but mostly, I’ll devote time to my family...siblings, kids and grandkids. One never knows how much time is left...I’ve lost Two of ten siblings to lung cancer and three male cousins to chronic illness. It seems my parents generation was nearly immortal...living into their 90s and beyond...but cigarettes and booze hit us baby boomers pretty hard.