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Thread: Left me wondering, uncertain.

  1. #26
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    Char,
    Are you suggesting it's a GGs trap ? That was my problem with living off assumptions , never knowing what the true answer is, long term it can be destructive. Helen does need to know how the land lies and find a way to play the same game and find out without incriminating herself .

  2. #27
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    No question she knows, only question is what next?
    You were the only one there, so I would replay the scene and listen for the sound and tone and feeling- was it resigned tolerance of your DADT, but just letting you know how she feels by making it sort of humorous/sort of critical [i.e. a scene from a slapstick teen boy sitcom, but then again don't you see how shocking it is to upskirt and find male parts- that's not what you are supposed to find!!!]

    I think it is likely to be her bursting her seams, and blurting, but you have to feel what she wanted in her tone- was she enjoying the comic shock of the voyeur, serving him right for preying on women, and standing by you as a revolutionary gender bender? Or was she saying I know, but I can't talk about it- as it is in the category of perversion for me- even though I sort of know its not for you.

    What do you know about how to take the next step with your wife after she blurts about something less difficult but still something of tension?

    You must have had some past history where she indicated she was not on board, and she probably knew then, and can tell from all sorts of subtle signs the extent of your relationship to standard manliness [where we constantly reinforce it- right?]

    I'd say just hug her longer and better today, and don't say a word.
    We are all beautiful...!

  3. #28
    Transgender Marie-Jo's Avatar
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    my SO said something along the lines of, “He’d had a shock if you went in there dress as you do”.
    Isn't she saying that you dress in female clothes? I can not see anything else. She must have dropped this sentence as a result from a reflection of the context. It does not have to mean that she was intentionally telling you that she knows your habits. She maybe bit her tongue hearing herself? She was not intending to reveal her knowledge. She is maybe not interested in a further discussion?
    If it is in your interest to discuss the topic further you can choose to see it as an invitation.
    If you do not want the CD thing to surface this time, just drop it and await her eventual next move. There could be more to come, or not. You are both maybe satisfied with a DADT situation so there will be no next thing, this time.
    Marie

  4. #29
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I am with every one else on this one, see what other comments come out and then decide what move you are going to make.


    I would take note of all the off cuff comments made
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #30
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    Your words, Helen:
    “He’d had a shock if you went in there dress as you do”. Now this would be fine except, while I do think that my SO has her suspicions as far as I knew I’m in the closet."
    She knows and probably more then you realize. I don't know if she's your wife or how long you've been a couple or how deep is your love and caring for each other, but if these circumstances are strongly positive, you need to have the talk, now. I think she will be receptive, 'cause she would have walked, and much earlier, with her knowledge. Good luck!! Keep us posted, please.

  6. #31
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    I read it as if you were in the women's bathroom going to the bathroom the teacher would be shocked at what he saw. She assumes that you would use the women's bathroom.

  7. #32
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Can I offer a big thank you for all your replies. I guess the general consensus is she knows however I'm still not certain just what is known. It's very possible my SO knows I under dress in hose and femme knickers. After all, it's an easy mistake to make letting a trouser leg show too far up a leg when sitting down. It's quite possible that's the extent of her knowledge and that would answer what she was referring to by way of her comment. I can't rule out that she knows more but my instinct leads me to believe she doesn't know just to what extent I dress.

    Hence I'm still very reluctant to push things. If I say the wrong thing I could let the kitten heels out of the bag. I'm 99.9% certain she hasn't found my stash. It's not that easy for me to get at so it's not something she's stumble across.

    I appreciate that being out and free to dress would be such a lovely place to be. However there is such uncertainty in the outcome of "having the talk" that as it stands I'm not prepared to risk pushing the envelope. My instinct is to wait and see if any further comments are made and take it from there. It's a huge divide from being comfortable having a husband that wears tights to finding out he has more dresses and skirts that you do.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #33
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    No Teresa, Not a “GG trap”. It doesn’t sound like the wife started the “game”. If all parties were truthful, the question wouldn’t be on asked this forum.

  9. #34
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I was kind of hoping you would talk to her more about it since it seems like she gave you something to discuss. But you should definitely do what you feel comfortable with and wish you the best.

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