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Thread: Curious Wife

  1. #1
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    Curious Wife

    Hello. I posted on here a while back regarding my husband’s cross dressing and how I came to find out about it. I have been accepting of him and he has begun to start dressing around me, but I am curious about one thing and hopefully someone here can help me out. Is it normal for a crossdresser (who is straight) to be flattered from compliments by another man? My husband is a driver at night, and when he drives and picks up customers, he is often dressed up. He had told me the other night that a guy had told him he had nice legs, and I could obviously tell he was flattered by that compliment. This isn’t the first time he has mentioned a guy trying to hit on him, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Am I reading too much into this? I did ask him when I first found out about his cross dressing if he was sexually attracted to men, and he said no. I need another crossdresser’s opinion. Thank you!

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member natalie edwards's Avatar
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    Probably just validation. You put in that much effort to look nice it's nice to hear how good you look.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    What Natalie said. I wouldn't read anything into it that isn't already there. You husband has a feminine side and appreciates the compliments that come when she expresses it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Really, he had no other option than to say thank you. To do otherwise would have been ungracious, so long as the compliment was genuinely offered.

    Some years ago, a young male cashier at Petco looked at me and commented "you have beautiful eyes" It was a very sincere compliment, but not one I was accustomed to hearing. I responded with "thank you, thats very nice of you to say.

    Nothing else would have been appropriate or necessary.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  5. #5
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Very normal. Compliments of this nature are not something bandied about by men under normal circumstances. So while it’s probably pretty normal for you to hear “Your purse is so cute!” Or “OMG Betty, your hair is fabulous!” men don’t often throw out “Hey Bob, your biceps are totally rocking it today”.

    Everyone likes compliments. They just tend to be a rarity in the hetero- cis- male world. This doesn’t mean that he wants men to come on to him, or that he’s attracted to them or anything like that.

  6. #6
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I think everyone likes to be told they're good looking weather it's from a man or woman.

    I'm not interested in men but a compliment is a complement. Last year I got carded at a bar and the bartender couldn't believe I was 60, it was a good feeling!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  7. #7
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Judy....carded at 60! wow, now I feel so diminished. How dare you be so youthful!

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  8. #8
    Lady in waiting Peggie Lee's Avatar
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    When your sure in who you are it's easy to take compliments no matter who made them, only those who are unsure of their sexuality would be distrubed by it.

  9. #9
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Being complimented is nice I like it when I guy or a woman compliment me or better yet I get mistaken for a real woman. I am totally into women. Guys do nothing for me, but to have a guy tell me I look good is a kick. I have been asked to dance by a guy in a straight bar and I was so flattered I am shore he thought I was real. I said no I couldn't and have to run from compliments. We all like complements so we'll take them when we can get them
    Last edited by Pat; 02-24-2018 at 10:46 PM. Reason: removed duplicate text (not sure how it got there.)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  10. #10
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    I can only speak for myself, but when a man compliments my appearance, yes, I am flattered. Granted that the guys I usually get these type of comments from are in a club, and that I am fully aware of the reason for the comment (ie: they are chatting me up in the hopes of getting lucky...), it is still flattering that they are noticing my appearance. Once, in a gas & go, I stopped for a coffee and the clerk ( a middle eastern male) said: "You look very nice and happy" I did a little twirl and flourish, and said "Thank you, I feel happy" with the biggest smile on my face, considering that I went in the shop with much fear & trepidation in my chest expecting a very negative reaction!

    Soapstar411 you have to understand that most guys who compliment a CD-er are assuming that the CD in question is gay, or Bi-. It does NOT mean that your spouse is! Think about it: if YOU were well dressed, coiffed and made up at a function and a guy made a NICE comment on your appearance (not a creepy, 'hey babe' kind of comment), wouldn't YOU feel a little flattered?

    Just my 2 centavos, your mileage may vary
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  11. #11
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    It depends on the person. For some it is validation of how well the pass, present as a female etc. If you are worried about him cheating, don't worry it isn't a sign that he is. (Complements from men do nothing for me personally... not that I get them. I seem to be a minority there even among straight dressers, maybe it is because I am an introvert? I don't know.)

    I would be far more concerned that he is going to work dressed (cab driver?) picking up strangers at night. Not only would he be more vulnerable as a woman at night, he is also at risk for being trans too.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It is nice to get validation from men, just means that you probably pass.

    I have no reaction towards men and I would assume the same goes for your husband.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    We don't really know, Soap. So, we r guessing. Liking compliments from men is pretty normal for confident, experienced dressers even if they r straight. Which it sounds like your husband is. But, dressing often creates a curiosity even in dressers who say they r straight. Some just fantasize about being with men. But, some actually swear they r attracted to men only when they r dressed! And, do hook up.

    I'd say, just keep your cat senses up in case u feel something's not rite!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Don't read anything into it. This happens to me every time I'm out dressed at least once.

  15. #15
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Yes, my husband also gets complimented by men. I believe he likes it. He will actually “strike a pose” when complimented! He will also recall and tell people, that he was whistled at, honked at, propositioned, etc. He seeks out validation. He will downplay his excitement when I’m with him but it's obvious.

    My feeling is this; he that in man mode, he is a very good looking for his age but only gets complimented when someone has to look at his ID (for senior discounts!, haha). My telling him that he looks great is just same old same old to him, he enjoys the outside attention. I don’t read much more into it than that. You know your husband best.

    If I were you, I wouldn’t worry unless it morphs into something more.
    Last edited by char GG; 02-25-2018 at 09:36 AM.

  16. #16
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    If I were you, I wouldn’t worry unless it morphs into something more.
    Well said and everything is fine I'm sure. Think of it this way, when your complimented and how you felt.

    PS It is great you support the inner gurl in him. It makes for s super relationship.

    X Kara

  17. #17
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Let's come at this from a different angle. The customer isn't expecting to see a man in a dress. Hence he's probably a little taken aback. So does he, say nothing, hurl an insult, a WTF, or does he make an off the cuff remark that may have an element of truth to it as a way of breaking the ice? It's the sort of lighthearted remark "blokes" make when in unfamiliar territory.

    If it had been a female driver he probably wouldn't have made the same comment for fear of being called sexist.

    Don't read anything into it. I've not yet been complemented by a man, I live in hope, but I've had lots of comments from women about what I'm wearing or the colour of my nails. And yes it makes me feel good, who wouldnt?

  18. #18
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Soapstar, I think a little affirmation from a stranger is not an indication of your husbands sexual preference. I would appreciate the comment for just that and nothing else.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  19. #19
    Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Soapstar411,

    It's always wise to keep your eyes and ears open, just in case, but from what you've told us, I think that you two are probably fine.

    The reason *I* think you're safe, is that he's coming home and telling you about what happened. It always seems like one of the warning signs of real trouble is when a person's loved one goes into silent mode.

    for what it's worth, I've only been 'out' a few times, and the rare instances where a man did something nice (compliment, holding the door for me, etc.) I was on cloud nine! and no- it didn't have anything to do with wanting any kind of sexual/romantic connection. Even if it was for just-that-moment, I felt like I was being accepted as a female, and I L*O*V*E*D it!!

  20. #20
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Compliments are always very nice and appreciated especially when we go through so much (enjoyable) efforts. Time will tell. If it’s just a casual comment and nothing more, I, too, think you’re OK. However, I wouldn’t assume anything. If it goes beyond compliments, and his enjoyment of being hit on continues or becomes moreintensive, you may have to readdress. For me, being complimented and being hit on are two distinctly different actions.

  21. #21
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    I think that if a stranger wanted to go directly to a CrossDresser's heart (so to speak), they would go via THE LEGS.
    IMO, nearly all CD-ers love their own legs. They love the look of their legs, the feel of legs in stockings, the way legs look and feel in heels and skirts. CD is VERY MUCH about The Legs. I think your husband's passenger hit Her sweet spot by complimenting Legs.
    Now that you know the secret too, you can compliment your husbands legs to your advantage. (LOL). Love him well, Soap. Love him. I know you do.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  22. #22
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    One aim of a cross dresser is to look as feminine as possible. A compliment from a stranger, man or woman, tells them that they are doing a good job of looking like a woman. It is a huge confidence boost for most in this community to receive such a compliment. The compliment also carries with it an implicit acceptance that you are a cross dresser and that it is OK.
    I would not get bothered about his being gay.

    When you say he drives at night and picks up customers that tells me that he is possibly a cab driver, perhaps with Uber of Lyft. You don't seem to be worried by his working while dressed and presumably he takes care of make up and hair also. I have the impression that you must be very accepting of your husband's dressing. Good for you!

  23. #23
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    Glad to have you back SoapStar!
    Think about it without gender - don't all people like to be complimented by other people?
    As a GG, don't you feel good about compliments from other women? You probably get them from family, friends, acquaintances but love it more from strangers.
    Another form of compliment, but with possible dark side, is the wolf-whistle. Some women see it as a compliment that they look good, but fear physical interactions.
    If a woman you met at work or a party told YOU the you had nice legs, would you be flattered? Bothered by it - possibly a bit, as opposed to complimenting your hair.
    As others said, this validates that they do look feminine to others and not just fooling themselves. They want that validation and not really sex with other men. But I think we also love it when GG's compliment our looks as well, but then, for heterosexual CDers, is that risking being 'hit on'?
    I hope that helps see it from a few more sides.
    Hugs, Ellen

  24. #24
    wiggle it, just a lil bit Julia Welch's Avatar
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    Everyone likes compliments so just leave it at that ...
    Fun loving skirt wearer

  25. #25
    Member Eva Bella's Avatar
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    I'll add to the chorus here. Outside of wearing an expensive and perfectly fitted suit, it's hard to get compliments on your appearance as a guy. Especially from a stranger. When we present en-femme, it's thrilling and validating to hear positive feedback. This is routine for cis women, but a whole new world for us.

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