Curious Wife

[Soapstar411]

Hello. I posted on here a while back regarding my husband’s cross dressing and how I came to find out about it. I have been accepting of him and he has begun to start dressing around me, but I am curious about one thing and hopefully someone here can help me out. Is it normal for a crossdresser (who is straight) to be flattered from compliments by another man? My husband is a driver at night, and when he drives and picks up customers, he is often dressed up. He had told me the other night that a guy had told him he had nice legs, and I could obviously tell he was flattered by that compliment. This isn’t the first time he has mentioned a guy trying to hit on him, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Am I reading too much into this? I did ask him when I first found out about his cross dressing if he was sexually attracted to men, and he said no. I need another crossdresser’s opinion. Thank you!

[natalie edwards]

Probably just validation. You put in that much effort to look nice it's nice to hear how good you look.

[Aunt Kelly]

What Natalie said. I wouldn't read anything into it that isn't already there. You husband has a feminine side and appreciates the compliments that come when she expresses it.

[kimdl93]

Really, he had no other option than to say thank you. To do otherwise would have been ungracious, so long as the compliment was genuinely offered.

Some years ago, a young male cashier at Petco looked at me and commented "you have beautiful eyes" It was a very sincere compliment, but not one I was accustomed to hearing. I responded with "thank you, thats very nice of you to say.

Nothing else would have been appropriate or necessary.

[Micki_Finn]

Very normal. Compliments of this nature are not something bandied about by men under normal circumstances. So while it’s probably pretty normal for you to hear “Your purse is so cute!” Or “OMG Betty, your hair is fabulous!” men don’t often throw out “Hey Bob, your biceps are totally rocking it today”.

Everyone likes compliments. They just tend to be a rarity in the hetero- cis- male world. This doesn’t mean that he wants men to come on to him, or that he’s attracted to them or anything like that.

[Judy-Somthing]

I think everyone likes to be told they're good looking weather it's from a man or woman.

I'm not interested in men but a compliment is a complement. Last year I got carded at a bar and the bartender couldn't believe I was 60, it was a good feeling!

[kimdl93]

Judy....carded at 60! wow, now I feel so diminished. How dare you be so youthful!

[Jessica May]

I'm just going to basically echo what most have said. Personally I think its nice to be complimented regardless of the source. It feels nice when someone tells you look good after yous pend a lot of effort on presenting well. Just my two cents but I wouldn't read into it beyond him being flattered.

[Becky Blue]

I love being complimented by either men or women it makes me feel great to think thats someone is nice enough to actually comment... it makes no difference to me whether the compliment is from a man or a woman.

[Peggie Lee]

When your sure in who you are it's easy to take compliments no matter who made them, only those who are unsure of their sexuality would be distrubed by it.

[Sallee]

Being complimented is nice I like it when I guy or a woman compliment me or better yet I get mistaken for a real woman. I am totally into women. Guys do nothing for me, but to have a guy tell me I look good is a kick. I have been asked to dance by a guy in a straight bar and I was so flattered I am shore he thought I was real. I said no I couldn't and have to run from compliments. We all like complements so we'll take them when we can get them

[Jodie_Lynn]

I can only speak for myself, but when a man compliments my appearance, yes, I am flattered. Granted that the guys I usually get these type of comments from are in a club, and that I am fully aware of the reason for the comment (ie: they are chatting me up in the hopes of getting lucky...), it is still flattering that they are noticing my appearance. Once, in a gas & go, I stopped for a coffee and the clerk ( a middle eastern male) said: "You look very nice and happy" I did a little twirl and flourish, and said "Thank you, I feel happy" with the biggest smile on my face, considering that I went in the shop with much fear & trepidation in my chest expecting a very negative reaction!

Soapstar411 you have to understand that most guys who compliment a CD-er are assuming that the CD in question is gay, or Bi-. It does NOT mean that your spouse is! Think about it: if YOU were well dressed, coiffed and made up at a function and a guy made a NICE comment on your appearance (not a creepy, 'hey babe' kind of comment), wouldn't YOU feel a little flattered?

Just my 2 centavos, your mileage may vary

[AlexisRaeMoon]

I'm probably in the minority here, but I actually get a little creeped out when I get a compliment from a man. It's one of the reasons that I had to get off Flickr, because the thought of crossdresser obsessed men telling me I looked hot really started to weird me out. However, that's probably more my own issue than anything else. I don't mind compliments from other crossdressers, because I feel like it's a supportive, camaraderie thing - like, "Hey, thumbs up! Good job!"

I absolutely love it when I got compliments from real women. To me, that's like the ultimate validation, because they're putting aside any internal prejudice that they may have about a man in women's clothes and just being honest.

Of course, this is all without any context. It could've been an innocent compliment, and probably no big deal. But without being there, we're just sort of projecting here. If your husband is honest, and you trust him, then I wouldn't worry about.

Though I totally agree with the earlier poster who said driving Uber en femme is definitely graduate-level crossdressing! I can't imagine being that far down the road...(No pun intended).

[donnalee]

I'd worry more if he started complimenting guys, but it really depends on the context.
Perhaps a ride along might be a good idea, but I wouldn't give him a heads up, just spring it on him - you have to go somewhere right away and your car has troubles, you don't feel safe going out alone at night, it's an emergency - well ,you get the idea.
I really doubt you have much to worry about.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It depends on the person. For some it is validation of how well the pass, present as a female etc. If you are worried about him cheating, don't worry it isn't a sign that he is. (Complements from men do nothing for me personally... not that I get them. I seem to be a minority there even among straight dressers, maybe it is because I am an introvert? I don't know.)

I would be far more concerned that he is going to work dressed (cab driver?) picking up strangers at night. Not only would he be more vulnerable as a woman at night, he is also at risk for being trans too.

[Rachelakld]

I love compliments, however one was laying it on a bit thick and was after a date, had to close him down. I mean he was nice enough but I'm not into guys.

[Beverley Sims]

It is nice to get validation from men, just means that you probably pass.

I have no reaction towards men and I would assume the same goes for your husband.

[docrobbysherry]

We don't really know, Soap. So, we r guessing. Liking compliments from men is pretty normal for confident, experienced dressers even if they r straight. Which it sounds like your husband is. But, dressing often creates a curiosity even in dressers who say they r straight. Some just fantasize about being with men. But, some actually swear they r attracted to men only when they r dressed! And, do hook up.

I'd say, just keep your cat senses up in case u feel something's not rite!

[faltenrock]

Don't read anything into it. This happens to me every time I'm out dressed at least once.

[Joyce Swindell]

So if he passes well then it's just a compliment. If he looks like a guy in women's clothes then who knows what it was. Point being if you trust him then it's a non issue. If he is a big guy and the passenger was a little guy maybe he was complimenting in looking for a break in his fare? So many possibilities......talk to him/ask him about it...honesty with him is the best approach....I think. It sounds like you're in this together.

[char GG]

Yes, my husband also gets complimented by men. I believe he likes it. He will actually “strike a pose” when complimented! He will also recall and tell people, that he was whistled at, honked at, propositioned, etc. He seeks out validation. He will downplay his excitement when I’m with him but it's obvious.

My feeling is this; he that in man mode, he is a very good looking for his age but only gets complimented when someone has to look at his ID (for senior discounts!, haha). My telling him that he looks great is just same old same old to him, he enjoys the outside attention. I don’t read much more into it than that. You know your husband best.

If I were you, I wouldn’t worry unless it morphs into something more.

[mbmeen12]

If I were you, I wouldn’t worry unless it morphs into something more.

Well said and everything is fine I'm sure. Think of it this way, when your complimented and how you felt.

PS It is great you support the inner gurl in him. It makes for s super relationship.

X Kara

[Helen_Highwater]

Let's come at this from a different angle. The customer isn't expecting to see a man in a dress. Hence he's probably a little taken aback. So does he, say nothing, hurl an insult, a WTF, or does he make an off the cuff remark that may have an element of truth to it as a way of breaking the ice? It's the sort of lighthearted remark "blokes" make when in unfamiliar territory.

If it had been a female driver he probably wouldn't have made the same comment for fear of being called sexist.

Don't read anything into it. I've not yet been complemented by a man, I live in hope, but I've had lots of comments from women about what I'm wearing or the colour of my nails. And yes it makes me feel good, who wouldnt?

[alwayshave]

Soapstar, I think a little affirmation from a stranger is not an indication of your husbands sexual preference. I would appreciate the comment for just that and nothing else.

[SaraLin]

Soapstar411,

It's always wise to keep your eyes and ears open, just in case, but from what you've told us, I think that you two are probably fine.

The reason *I* think you're safe, is that he's coming home and telling you about what happened. It always seems like one of the warning signs of real trouble is when a person's loved one goes into silent mode.

for what it's worth, I've only been 'out' a few times, and the rare instances where a man did something nice (compliment, holding the door for me, etc.) I was on cloud nine! and no- it didn't have anything to do with wanting any kind of sexual/romantic connection. Even if it was for just-that-moment, I felt like I was being accepted as a female, and I L*O*V*E*D it!!