Contemplating HRT

[tanya_cd]

So I am thinking about HRT.

I am 45 years old. The life of living as a female fascinates me. I have had these feelings ever since i was a toddler. Ever since I could remember. I remember my mother catching me wearing my sister clothes at like 4. I played with toy cars and trucks and I loved star wars stuff. But, I also loved to play with barbie dolls. I have loved wearing girlie stuff... dresses, skirts, shoes, hairstyles, socks.... and makeup!!!! since I can remember.

The feeling is overwhelming me.

I am in a relationship with a female, and I am pretty sure we are in a DADT. But, I am also very certain she will not be in a relationship with someone who is transitioning. I love her. But I am not even sure if I can give her what she needs. However, it is not going away, and I am not getting any younger.

I have tried to live as a man. I think many people who already know me, sense something about me.

What am i supposed to do in a situation like this? I don't even feel attractive as a man anymore.

I look at the eyes staring at me in the rear view mirror when I am dressed and my self esteem goes through the roof!!!

Does this sound like someone who is ready to commit to completely changing their life?

[Drew GB]

Your personal love life is as much a part of the whole picture as just your femme self. For me I could not live without my wife or at least someone standing with me. Women’s clothes make me very happy but then so does ice cream and I have said no to that in leu of the gym. If my wife said she wanted a DADT relationship I would respect that and get my kicks when I could without rocking the boat. HRT would flip the boat over several times over so I think you really have to ask yourself what is more important to you being a girl or being with your girl. And if it is being a girl then you need to sit your girl down and talk to her and see if this is even an option or weather you two need to explore separate paths. Otherwise the point is somewhat mute.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't think so yet, I would wait and see how your feelings evolve over another twelve months.

To say you are pretty sure you are in DADT, you should have discussed your dressing with her by now and got some reaction.

I think you have to start going out dressed for a while and do some shopping and interact with others.

HRT has a mental change in attitude as well as all the other effects you have to endure, maybe it is not for you.

[Vickie_CDTV]

First, do not marry, have children or mix your finances with your SO. If you insist on HRT or transition, you will almost certainly lose her. If you have a DADT relationship just dressing occasionally, you are far more likely than not lose her if you grow boobs, become impotent, go fulltime etc.

Do you hate your male body? Or do you just hate the male gender role? HRT is only something you should do if you have to. There are risks and side effects, some can be quite serious. Think long and hard before you make a decision.

[Nikki.]

Time to visit a therapist with experience in gender issues. You need an unbiased skilled person to help you work through this. Sometimes it’s hard to get outside our own heads.

[foxy bartender]

Tanya, I’ve been feeling exactly as you are, for quite some time. My relationship situation is different, but my feelings about my body are just like yours. I’ve been dressing full time for months now, and I still feel like hrt is going to be the answer for me. I decided that this year is the year I figure myself out, so I intend on starting to see a therapist and work on myself.
Only you can know what the right answer is for you, but don’t rush into anything.
Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat

[Laura912]

Nikki is one thousand percent correct. Schedule an appointment now.

[Ressie]

If your relationship is DADT then you probably don't dress in front of your SO. So HRT sounds like a big leap from where you are rather than a baby step. How committed are you to this woman and how long have you been together?

Also, maybe you should spend more time at the Transexual forum to get an idea of the pluses and minuses of transitioning.

[Micki_Finn]

A third voice joining Nikki and Laura. Get some counseling. Preferably from a licensed psychiatrist not just a therapist. It’s heavy stuff and not something to play around with.

[Rachael Leigh]

Tanya, I really feel for you, my advice as someone who had many of the same feelings is make sure you think all the way
through this. Be sure you know the external consequences, friends, family and other things you haven’t even considered.
This is life changing in so many ways.
I found after a few months mostly living as a women that I was not fully committed so I’ve decided not to do HRT and have
gone back to more of a part time girlhood as it were.
Hope this helps and I wish you well as you work things out

[Gillian Gigs]

I'm the fourth voice joining Micki, Nikki and Laura! Get some counselling, preferably from a licensed psychiatrist not just a therapist. It’s heavy stuff and not something to play around with.

[Pat]

I am in a relationship with a female, and I am pretty sure we are in a DADT.

Pretty sure? Maybe you should figure that out before going any further, it will make a big difference. I do 100% endorse the suggestion to go see a counselor. If you don't think you can bring yourself to seeing a counselor, then you're certainly not ready to move any further along this path.