So today I am seeing a therapist for the first time I would love to hear any encouraging or things that I should look for in a therapist and anything I should watch out I am hoping that she would help me out I do not know what to expect I’m trying to go there with a open mind so let me know if you have any encouraging or thoughts so let me know what you think and wish me luck. And yes she is a gender therapist.
Danielle,
There have been a multitude of similar threads on this topic over the years.
Some things to watch going in is to be open and honest with the therapist.
Don't hide anything as that defeats the purpose for going in the first place.
Have you asked if the therapist has experience dealing with gender issues? If not, this is a question to bring up. Experience matters and you don't want to be the one to educate the therapist at "your" expense!
If the therapist starts talking about "curing" your gender issues or crossdressing RUN! Run and fast and far as you can.
Lastly, you have to feel comfortable with the therapist. It's important to develop a report with them so that anything can be discussed.
Good Luck and let us know how it turns out!
The main question any good competent therapist should ask YOU is "What do you hope to accomplish in therapy ?"
I go at least twice a year and think of them as tune up sessions similar to tuning up a car.
if the therapist spends a lot of time talking about themselves or other peoples issues, then its not about you and its a waste of time.
Best wishes
Danielle -- The only questions you really need to ask the counselor are about their experience with trans folks -- especially the kind of trans person you may think you are (TS, non-binary, genderqueer, crossdresser, etc.) Don't focus on your current feeling of identity though, you need to allow yourself freedom to change as you dig deeper into yourself.
As mentioned, the big question to you will be "What is your goal?" Again, state whatever you think it is but understand your goal will probably change over time. The therapist isn't really looking to establish a finish line, just a direction of travel. One of the coolest things (to me) about therapy is it's usually the simple questions that move you along the most because they show up the holes in your internal story -- then you fill in those holes and you find yourself in a new place.
Good luck!
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
Hi Danielle,
I will echo one thing that Linda said. When I first sought out a gender therapist the one question I made sure to ask after I explained my background a bit was "can I be cured?". I tried to ask in such a way as to not pre-bias the answer. When I got an emphatic NO I felt safe to continue the conversation.
Elizabeth
I just had my(gee, I forget) fifth or sixth session! My therapist is Christian and the first two questions I asked her was do you believe in conversion therapy and are you going to cure me! She had no idea of what conversion therapy is and said no I can't cure you! She must have looked up conversion therapy as she could not believe that they would ever do that and was actually quite angry about any one doing that to someone else! She is good as she turns my questions around. Such as: Am I transgender? Well, what do you think? She is providing prompts for my growth and it feels so good! We discussed hormone therapy. Its pros and cons! She never force anything on you and it should be like a team effort! Best wishes and I hope everything works out well! Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
Danielle,
The first question is why do you think you need one, what are your needs and how far do you wish to go with transition ? You need to decide that at an early stage your counsellor can't second guess you . I t may help to write your history down , how it started, and don't disregard dreams , long term ones during my childhood gave another insight into what was going on. If she suggests a label don't fight it , she is only looking for a suitable box to give her a starting point. There are some important questions to consider, at one session I suggested that I'm only attending the sessions and seeing her to validate my CDing , she was experienced enough to see through that but do consider that question . They can only work from the information you give them so be totally open and honest, never think they don't need to know certain things . Once you've achieved a clearer idea of your CDing needs try not to go into panic mode, some labels can be frightening but you've lived with them in past without knowing so you can now come to terms with them . Don't forget there are no rules , no one can force you to do something you prefer not to do , the whole situation is a balancing act , weighing up your needs against the family and close friends. It does take time so don't rush it, people on the whole do come round most don't have a problem , best of luck .
Thank you friends for all your kind words and suggestions I will put them all together and use them as tonight I will find out if this therapist is right One for me or not the place that I’m going To where she is at there is multiple therapists at that facility and they also do group therapy also For people like us thank you wish me luck
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