Do you deliberately hold back for greater rewards ...

[~Renee~]

Since joining here I have expressed in some way or form most everyday. It really helps take the edge off. Last week I had family over for several days and I was ok with turning things off. As an experiment I have continued to abstain, but at day 8 here I'm finding my need is rocketing as I look forward to this weekend. I am going to have several hours to do whatever I want on Saturday. Totally free time like this weekend is extremely rare for me because of my situation. So I'm going to continue to abstain and dream about Saturday versus doing something to take the edge off now.

Do you engage delayed gratification of your cd desires? If so what have been the results?

[Alice B]

I don't think I. or anyone else here can tell you what to do. I can only relate to what I have I have done with family. I simply told them all, one by one or two by two if married. All have totally accepted, including my grand daughters. I have now been to several family parties as Alice and have been totally accepted, including others at the parties that did not know. Only you know your family and what level of acceptance there may or may not be present. Good Luck.

[~Renee~]

Alice thanks for the response. My situation is totally fine at home with my wife. I don't care to share with my out of town family. Shutting down for a few days is no problem. Free time where I'm not responsible for someone's safety is very rare. I will be free of that responsibility for a few hours this weekend. Then I have no hinderances.

When I discovered my free time earlier this week I decided to see what would happen if I continued to withhold and day dream about Saturday. Up until today I was fine and had no pressing want or need to express. Today my desire rocketed and containing my desire for some form of immediate expression is near impossible.

So,
I could do casual enjoyment right now and focus on the moment, thereby satisfying my need right now. Or I could delay that current gratification and look forward to the weekend where I can push the envelope further.

I'm gonna try to with hold and I am wondering if anyone else attempts to build their anticipation by similar or different means.

I never imagined that deliberately withholding for a week would be so hard after repressing by sheer will for 30 years.

[Chelsea B]

I know exactly what you are talking about, Renee.
I find that instead of taking almost every small opportunity, keeping my dressing deferred until I can have extended quality time to dress. I find that the release and pleasure that I get, is so much more profound and special that way. It’s worth the wait, for me.
I’m talking maybe every two weeks, rarely weekly.

Chelsea

[docrobbysherry]

Renee, usually when dressers refer to "gratification" it has sexual ramifications. But, I don't think that's what u mean? It sounds like u find dressing itself to be gratifying?

I have heard other T's say that they find it; enjoyable, diverting, relaxing, satisfying, exciting, and natural/normal.

When I first arrived on this site I became obsessed with dressing. When I wasn't doing it I was thinking about some facet of dressing. I was losing sleep and failing at work. Delaying dressing for me was as far from "gratifying" as u can get! I finally got over it by dressing whenever and wherever the impulse struck. That became overwhelming and I lost all desire to dress! Of course, it returned and I've struck a "healthy" balance ever since.

I must tell u, the idea that delaying your dressing somehow makes it more gratifying is a new concept to me!

But, if it works for u? Go for it!

[Chloe Triss]

Renee,

If it were me, I’ll be thinking about dressing up every single day.

A few years ago, I was living with my aunt. She has a closet full of dresses and Victoria secret undergarments sets. Since she’s a bit chubby I could fit all of those clothing. I would think about what I should snuck from the closet and what kind of dressing would be cute, beautiful etc.

If I were to not crossdress for a day, I would feel something is missing. Unless I take a full lingerie shot + a fully dressed shot selfie or mirror photo I could never go to sleep. Or even a video of me dressing up from lingerie to full dressing. I locked the door and went to sleep fully dressed every night.

Now I’m 18 years old. Living at a all boys dorm but I slept while wearing tights or black boy-shorts(lingerie) with a unisex top(mostly femme). I could never thought of a day when I would sleep with my male clothes or not wear a single piece of female clothing.

That’s Chloe experience which Chole happily shares .

[Teresa]

Renee,
To be truthful I don't see the point, either you want or need to dress or you don't , why exert this stressful situation if you don't need to ?

[~Renee~]

Teresa I'm not stressed at all. Please understand I'm at the beginning of this journey and I'm trying to figure out what works. By working, what brings greater happiness. Impulsive dressing like doc said became overwhelming and lost the edge. And yes doc gratification has zero sexual connotation. So rather then say I have to do something now to satisfy my desire, im building my anticipation for Saturday by day dreaming. Chelsea answer is spot on to what Im experiencing.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm not sure if the OP is referring to some form of sexual gratification or not, but I'm with Teresa on this one.

And the reason, Renee, that you are finding it difficult to hold back is obvious: after 30 years of repressing the desire, you've let the cat out of the bag. Once freed, the desire to dress is NOT going to retreat for any long time if the situation is favourable, i.e.: your wife knows and seems accommodating to your needs.

[GretchenM]

I think it is good to try experiments like you are trying. It helps to understand what your limitations are and, when necessary, set some boundaries. It also helps to define your identity, especially if, like most of us, we need to switch back and forth according to situations and needs. However, be careful with experiments. I have done some that created instability. That said, even a bit of instability can be useful because it is like building your immune system. If you keep yourself from being exposed to bacteria you can become susceptible to all kinds of illnesses, but a little exposure goes a long way to building the immune system. I find it is the same way with dressing needs - you learn where your limits are and that can help avoid unnecessary stress in keeping ourselves on a fairly even level.

[NicoleScott]

I don't delay dressup sessions intentionally. Life does that for me.
Do delays increase gratification? Yes.

[deebra]

Renee every time I step in panties or a thong which is every morning I feel gratification of becoming feminine like a woman and the feeling is so good it often leads to the other gratification. The desire is always there and if for some reason I can't dress it's a real bummer, so holding off to increase the desire doesn't work for me. I like the idea of dressing every day as a woman. It's a real turn on to feel how the girl clothes feel while wearing them and acting female while wearing them. Getting dressed in girl clothes, feeling them on my body and going about with feminine movements makes for a very happy day.

[Krisi]

Nope. I dress when I can and when I want. I enjoy it of course but I'm not a slave to dressing as a woman.

[Asew]

I don't hold back for greater rewards but I hold back as to not overwhelm my wife since she has only known for about a month now. The rewards are better, but the withholding part is more irritable.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I delay because I can't bear the sight of myself unless I am at my thinnest, which is not often. In the meantime I underdress every day, sometimes wear leggings in the evenings. I recognise that my weight obsession is neurotic.