Do you really want her participation?

[CarlaWestin]

Here's a question for all of you no matter what your situation is. Being in DADT, I've always had the desire for it to go away
and my Wife to be fully involved. But, I've come to the conclusion that I prefer to have complete control of the experience.
It might be the desire to dress extreme from time to time so I get the impression that her influence would be more toward
the relative blandness of everyday passing. That's just sort of my take on my situation.
So, how do you feel about someone else's participation in your situation?

[kimdl93]

Fair question. I wanted my wife’s full acceptance and embrace of who I was and am.

[BrendaPDX]

I am a DADT and have wanted my wife to be more involved, but like you I also have some "extreme" outfits that I honestly don't know what she would think of. And yes she would definitely would lean to bland, that is just how she dresses. Someone else's participation, yes, my wife maybe not.

[Teri Ray]

I have a supportive wife. There are agreed to limits and boundaries for my dressing but over all having her knowledge and support has been very positive. I could not ask for more. I feel extremely lucky.

[Krisi]

My wife is supportive or at least "tolerant". She pointed to her dresser drawer the other day and said I could have any of the tights I wanted. Well there were lots of black ones which I already have but there were also some colored ones. I took them and tried them with matching outfits and they looked nice. I told my wife I needed some other colors and the next day she brought me some red ones.

I would like to get her more involved in that I would like to go out in public with her as two female friends. Not locally, we know too many people, but in another city. I'm working on it but so far it hasn't happened.

[Jaylyn]

My wife at first about ten year ago was on board and still is somewhat. We set the rules though when I told her and she had me promise I'd not go out dressed and embarrass us in our small community. I readily agreed. She bought Jaylyn Christmas gifts for Jaylyn and help me pick out makeup. She has helped me dress up many times. After the new wore off she hasn't been as receptive. I backed off and started dressing when she was at work. She knows I still do and not long ago she lost a bunch weight and we both started working out. She bought herself many new outfits and gave me her old ones. I have twenty to thirty decent outfits. Some dresses and pants, that fir tight but look good. I ordered several sets of heels and have my own makeup plus three wigs. At the first when I told her she and I had played dress up and she wore what I call our ladies of ill repute clothes very short minis and lavish makeup and tall heels we had fun fantasizing. I loved the play time we had but it seems the newness wore off and she told me she would rather we didn't play that anymore. It's now when I want to play dress up in my most revealing clothes it's just me doing it when isn't at home. She has accepted me wearing panties almost full time now, and even let me get my toe nails painted the same color as hers at our last pedicure.
It seems though that she's not as excited about the play time that we always had when we dressed together and acted like two girls just helping each other get dressed and talking anymore. So all my extreme dressing as you put it is now on me when she is not around. I would enjoy her being back in our extreme clothing again but it's not gonna happen I don't think.

[Robertacd]

Crossdressing really is a form of narcissism or at least many crossdressers are very narcissistic.

Yes, I really do want and enjoy my wife's participation.

I remember reading a post here from a GG who was lamenting about how crosdressers make everything "all about them" even little things like going for a walk.

If you have an accepting partner, they should be involved.

[bridget thronton]

I prefer my wife's company regardless of how I dress

[2B Natasha]

I love that my wife fully participated in this endeavor and either other thing I get into. While she does have a tendancy to dress somewhat conventional. She has never said anything about me dressing anyway I want to. She never says. Word when I paint the house in denim mini skirt and heels. Or when I clean the house ina maid outfit. I will also add that when I leave the house I am more dressed up usually the wife, barely. I have no desire to standout even more then I do in a crowd. So her full participation? Yep. Enjoy it? Yep. Limits from her? None. Limits on myself? Yep. The main limitation for me from me. Ever do anything dresses either way that impacts our revenue stream. That is the only lomitation.

[AmandaRaquel]

Yes I love when my wife is involved. She is very supportive and hopefully will continue to be supportive.

[Monique65]

I would like nothing more than my wife's acceptance and blessing. So far the subject has not arisen, but I hope to bring it up in the near future.

[Elizabeth G]

I would very much like for my wife to participate. Right now I would say she is somewhere between tolerant and accepting, supportive would be a stretch. At the moment I'm working on getting more opportunities for me to dress. If that works I'll (cautiously) explore getting her more involved.

[t-girlxsophie]

Im lucky enough to have a supportive wife and I'm pretty much left to my own devices when it comes to my dressing although if i wear something that she thinks "isn't me" she will tell me,not too bad when at home but if im going out dressed it helps to get her advice to stop me going out like mutton dressed as lamb.On occasion she will buy me something nice and have to say her taste is spot on.So for me I enjoy how involved she gets sometimes 👍

[NicoleScott]

Crossdressing has always been a very personal and private experience and neither dependent nor enhanced by the participation of anyone else. My wife knows and is OK with my OTT style, but has no interest in participating, which makes me wonder what "involved" and "participating" really means for others. For me, it's all about the clothes, wigs shoes, makeup, etc., and the process as well as the result of transforming into MY idea of beauty, sexy, and feminine, warped as others may think that is.
I just can't get fired up about dressing and making up conservatively to go out as a girlfriend, while finding excitement in NOT being noticed. But that's just me.
It might be different if my wife was turned on by my crossdressing, but that's not the case. So, my preference is to go solo.

[Teresa]

Carla,
DADT meant a virtual brick wall, zero involvement .

I would dearly like to share it with a GG , now I'm separated it could happen but it's not my goal to go looking for it , if it happens then so be it .

Going out socially is the driving force , in those circumstances we share participation , OK at times taking the Micky out of each other , the GGs give the most encouragement , I love talking to them .

[Alice B]

I am with Kimdl on this one

[Gillian Gigs]

I have my wife's full acceptance. We have agreed upon boundaries which are mostly of my choosing that are easy for both of us to live within. I get shopping help when needed and dress as I please around the house. She offers advise and comments on my attire as she sees fit and it is always appreciated. There are several skirts that she really likes and I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days that she asks to wear one of them.

[Helen_Highwater]

It would be great to be out of the closet with MY SO assuming no negative outcomes and have more freedom to dress. That said, I'm unsure that I would feel comfortable dressing in front of her. Certainly when out and about enfemme and adopting the appropriate mannerisms I could see myself being aware that what my SO saw in front of her wasn't the person she knows. An actor playing a part and in that sense false.

I guess if I dressed simply around the house, skirt , top, tights, then I could begin to feel comfortable and not self aware but that would all depend upon my SO's reactions.

[LeannS]

I only could wish that she would be involved but that isn't going to happen any time soon.
I so dread this DADT part but while she is gone to work or other functions Leann comes out and plays.

[stepanie]

I think at times it would be less of a hassle but, I don't think she really wants to participate.
We don't talk about it. She knows I wear panties and such but doesn't say anything one way
or another. I wear what I want when she's not around and take it off before she comes
home so it's ok.
Stephanie

[Micki_Finn]

My wife is highly involved in my dressing. She is very encouraging but not pushy. She doesn’t dictate my dressing, but I dress for the occasion so if I want to dress more “extreme” as you say, we’ll do something that’s appropriate for the clothing choice. However for me it’s usually the opposite in that the activity dictates the dressing instrrad of the dressing dictating the outing.

[Glenda58]

I want her except me but not participate. Just let me go out and shop.

[sara66]

I do and don't want my wife to participate. I love her and love being with her. She is tolerant but has no desire to see me dressed. I do have a gal pal that doesn't mind going out with me dressed, but I do find most of the time I like to keep it to myself. I have said before I am a very solitary person. This web site is the most social I have ever really been.
Sara

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Carla , My wonderfulWife of 54yrs. is very tolerant and just don't want to see me while I am dressed,
She knows about everything and has seen me dressed in the past.

We have a vey workable DA/DT I stay within my boundaries and life is fantastic,
She did pierce my ears for me.>Orchid......

[debbeelee1]

My SO is accepting and supportive of my CDing. She gets a kick out of getting me two sets of presents for birthday, Christmas and Valentine's!