The making point

[MarieTS]

I would have titled this The Breaking Point but MAKING is a more positive image, or perhaps realization. My question to all is what was the decision point that absolutely confirmed in your mind that you were going to undergo SRS?

Note, I am not asking when you first thought, considered or even desired to have the Op.

I am inviting you to share the specific event or experience that pushed you into the YES come hell or high water I am definitely going to do it column, and WHEN did you fully decide you were going to go through with it despite all barriers and costs.

So, what was your Making Point?

[pamela7]

Hi Marie,

What was yours?

While I still await SRS can i truly say I've met that point? Having said that, my decision point was once I really knew I was female inside. The chronic testicular pain i'd had for roughly 10 years by then helped for sure - they just have to go; my body, emotions and mind want them gone.

xx

[Janice Ashton]

Hi Marie

Not sure how other people will respond to this question?

But for me, ‘the point of no return’ came on the day of my surgery I was wheeled down to the operating theatre (English spelling) and as the bed I was being pushed along on entered two double swinging doors and through the porthole windows of another set of double doors in front of me, I could see the lights in the operating room with people moving around. I remember looking at the double doors thinking beyond there ?? as I waited in this anti-room for the anaesthetist to arrive and put me under? “I knew this was it!!!! For me the point of no return. Next thing I remember was waking up in recovery and surgery was over.

I remember also some years ago I undertook a 12,000 ft ‘Free Fall’ parachute jump for charity, never doing anything in my life like this before. When the shutter door of the aircraft opened and I stood in the doorway looking down at the patchwork fields and earth below, I knew it was the point of no return, die or not??? Needless to say. I landed safely, as indeed I arrived back from surgery safely.

The two have little or no connection, but it does epitomise for me the point of no return.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

never happened for me...it all felt like a neccessary medical procedure..i actually put it off until the end because it felt like my FFS was more gender conforming..my gender dysphoria was more attached to the way i looked in society and in the mirror ....once i did it i was very happy i did but i've often said my transition felt like a robot was in control...step by step..just do it... after FFS, i still felt this gnawing need to conform my life and body to my internal gender and it verymuch felt like i had no real choice in the matter

i did read an article similar to the story mentioned above about how its similar to jumping off a cliff.. or in my case i guess getting pushed off by the GD....

[MarieTS]

Well Pam, my Making Point began quite early during youth. But the finale came when as an adult I had worked myself up to two weeks paid and 1 week unpaid of vacation. I used that time to go away and live totally enfemme. Towards the end of one such vacation I realized I could not keep doing this and resolved to thoroughly transition. I began therapy, mones, set a time table and eventually began my RLE. Very early on during my RLE I knew 100% for sure it absolutely had to be. It was so refreshing and uplifting to finally know SRS was an eventuality. Nothing ever felt so liberating. I guess that was my Making Point.

[grace7777]

For me it is the summer of 2016. That is the time when I began to take actual steps toward transitioning. It began with therapy and a physical examination to determine if I was medically fit to do it. When I started the process I knew that I wanted SRS to be part of it. Since that time my desire for SRS has only gotten stronger.

I have now been living as a woman full time since the beginning of June 2017, and have been on hormones since November of 2016.

With each day that passes I find it harder to understand why anyone who is TS and wants to transition would not want to have SRS. I do realize some are not medically able to do it, but otherwise why would you not want to.

For me I am looking at December of 2018 or the summer of 2019.

Until recently, my employment situation was not as steady as I wanted it. Now with my employment situation improving I am earning good money and see a pathway to make it work financially. The question is now will I have to use IRA fund's to do it. Hopefully I can avoid it. Also, I am relocating from San Diego to Phoenix, Arizona.

Now I am deciding where to have it done. I could do it in Scottsdale, Arizona for about $20,000 for a partial vaginoplasty. In Thailand I estimate I could do it for 10,000 to 12,000. My preference is to do it locally, but I feel because of price Thailand is looking more likely.

[Georgette_USA]

I don't think there was a one make or break point to go ahead with SRS.

When I was in the Navy and found to be a CD (about 1972-73), didn't really know much about TS yet. My life didn't end and the Navy didn't seem to care much about.
After I got out I looked for others that felt as myself. Was not really a CD but more/different.
I then started my transition in 1974-75. At first just accepting myself, then HRT, getting used to being myself in pubic.
In 1976 made the decision to change my name and coming out at work and contacting the different places for SRS.
I then committed to one place and as I finished my 24/7 as myself, got my SRS date in SEP 77. By that time there was no reason to not finish what I had started.

So mine was a slow but committed pace, but not one make or break point.

[Peggie Lee]

I don't think there was ever a moment that I truly didn't want a vagina , I just did think it was possible. Once I realized that yes it can be done I planned to do it as soon as medically possible. So from the time I started seeing a therapist it was 2 years later that I had my SRS, that was 2/12 years ago and I finally enjoy my life.

[Megan G]

never happened for me....it all felt like a neccessary medical procedure..

^^THIS!!^^

To me GRS was just a part of the transitioning package.... I HAD to do it for my own internal peace... i did not want daily reminders in the shower of my birth gender, i did not want to feel “different” than other women if i visited spa’s...... to me it was a requirement of transition and it was not an option, it was a necessity...

[MarieTS]

Grace, You are on the way. I feel so happy for you, and I totally understand your point about why would anyone NOT want SRS if they were truly TS.
I wish you happiness and safety. Oh, and money wise everything all totalled ran me close to $30K. HUGS!

Georgette, you are a true pioneer for us doing what you did back then. Everything had to be so much more difficult and uncertain then. You deserve a medal! I have no doubt based upon your journey that if you could go back in time you would do it all over again. I guess for all of us our Making Points are varied but nonetheless special and definitive even if we don' quite know what they were.



Megan, you are completely in synch with my feelings of GRS not being optional, but rather a necessity. You're rationale of needing that inclusive feeling is so telling of our life-long quest.

And Peggie, it sounds as if you knew back in childhood you were supposed to have an innie instead of an outie. You had a wonderfully quick timetable once you got on track, but not nearlynquick enough for our internal needs.��

[Devi SM]

I really appreciated this thread Marie.
Making a long story short, I as many here had trasgender experiences from childhood. Then for my obvious gender I engage in sexual relation in my teens with my opposite sex. Just one girlfriend. I got married very young 22. I was unfaithful to my wife with 2 other women, a prostitute and a tricky lover for 3 months, so total of 4 women in my life but I'd been on bed with so many men.
I never felt that I was cheating on my wife with those men but that is a topic for another thread. I never saw it as cheating because the feeling of sex and the realization of feeling more like a woman was completely different. In my 20s I found about crossdressing. From tons of reading and learning about trasgender I found out I was a trasgender and one day I accepted myself a one.. So two years ago I went out to my wife with everything especially about my so called bisexuality, I got into gender therapy and I learn my gender dystrophia came from my early childhood. Now with more freedom I start learning more about this. It began to control my mind but with a strong religious background everything was related to sin, But luckily I overcome all those guilty feelings. After all, these last two years, it has lost a lot of the sexual component, even sex with wife is zero, both agreed that she doesn't want sex with another women and in me the sexual desire with a woman has drastically dimished almost to zero but more of me looking to live as a woman and at the point I noticed that for years sex with wife, even was great but in my mind I always had to recall to the sexual experiences with men to achieve the climax.
So now I'm thinking that may be I'm homosexual and in that point I'm not totally unsatisfied with what I have down there and dreaming about how would be to wake up a morning with nothing down there than a vagina, stop tucking 24/7 and with that, how would be to be in the arms of a man enjoying me as a woman and no longer having anal sex with all the discomfort that is related with that.
I think that I'm approaching to that point. I start reading about SRS, I'm almost to begin hormones therapy. I've done so many changes feminizing my body, face, hair and hungry to see real changes in my body, even planning in the job of sales I have start doing it in female mode.
I'm getting close to that point or I already overcome?

[MarieTS]

Perhaps so Vanessa!
Lots of interesting discussion points in your post. One of the topics that jumped-out at me is your concern about being a homosexual. Don't fret, not to worry. See, there are a few issues that comprise sexuality. One is Sexual Identity (What you perceive yourself to be). Another is Sexual Orientation (the gender you are attracted to). My point is, if you ID as female and are attracted to males, well, isn't that a positive thing?!?! Think positively. You are lucky!

[Megan G]

I never felt that I was cheating on my wife with those men but that is a topic for another thread. I never saw it as cheating because the feeling of sex and the realization of feeling more like a woman was completely different.

No matter how you slice it, twist it or say it Cheating is Cheating...not trying to be the ethics police but seriously....

As for the rest, only advice i will give you is to stop worrying about sexual attraction if your trying to work thru gender issues. Totally unrelated...