Advice for a New Crossdresser

[Jenny22]

New Wearer, you can bet that your grandmother knows that her special panties are missing and that YOU took them. The hammer will fall on you, so be prepared.

[Tracy Irving]

I have a few hundred pair of panties and would notice if eight were missing, just saying...

By now you should know your size so go to a big box store and buy your own panties. You can use the self checkout until you are comfortable purchasing from a cashier.

It might not take long before you are going into specialty lingerie shops and trying on high quality undergarments.

[Glenda58]

Like everyone else here buy your own. Welcome to the Forum. Your secret could be out with security cameras in homes you may have been seen all ready.

[PantyBoots]

Buying your own stuff: It took me until I was 23 to think of that. I didn't think when I was young.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've been doing this a long time, probably since I was 10 or so.

There are many ways to buy panties.

If I knew how old you are, I could probably give you age-appropriate advice.

[Julia Welch]

Jeez, I think he got it ... so judgemental !!!

[Joni T]

You're toast now pal. Do you REALLY think she hasn't/won't notice?? You have a LOT to learn about women. You just crapped all over your honor and her trust.
Jon

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o New Wearer,
yeah..yeah..yeah...Don’t Steal !
I think you've gotten the message
by now???

What you need to do is stay away from
your aunt’s house altogether.

There are vacation fish feeding pellets
available. Hell! I’ve seen some goldfish
that lived many years in a dirty old
horse trough.

Much Love,
Kristyn

[mykell]

hey there....

hey i never boosted any clothes says the hypocrite

sooo put the stuff back, your probably already outed by now ?

then get to the TARjET boutique and buy yourself some nice things and go to the "self" checkout.

easy peasey then find someplace to keep your things private until you figure this all out for yourself.

oh we are generally helpful and a good place to share and learn about ourselves,
so welcome to the group.....

[Jennifer2918]

Welcome to the forum and stop taking others clothes.

Since you have an idea of your size, go to a Ross or Marshalls and get your own. If anyone says anything, just say its your wife's/girlfriends birthday. No one will think twice.

If you want outwear type clothings, start with a thrift store like Goodwill. Lots of crossdressers shop there and they wont' think anything of it.

[Connie.Marie]

Hello there New Wearer,
First Welcome to the forum.
Yes, I think you got the point to stop stealing, start buying.

My advice is to think long & hard about your name because it is a pain in the neck to change later.
I would suggest something that you think is pretty & feminine, something that is normal, that you can use all your life.

We don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're young & don't have much money. I have found that like minded friends are willing to share & tend to upgrade often. Lots of my clothes are hand me downs.
We don't know where you live but if we did, someone there from the forum, could help you. PM someone nearby after you get 10 posts

BTW, once you buy, I'm guessing that you're going to need a place to stash your stuff. Start thinking about it now.

Another piece of advice, Don't purge! If you feel the need to stop, then just put it all in a bag & put away for awhile, or in storage or have a friend hold on to it for you... pull it all back out again when the urge returns. It will save you a lot of time & money.

Hope that helps,
Hugs, Connie

[Helen_Highwater]

Yep, I think you've had enough of a kicking so time for some positives.

I'm with Coñnie, find yourself a better name. I always feel it's both more polite and well, just human, to refer to someone by their name when replying and New Wearer really doesn't trip off the tongue.

Putting on that first item of femne clothing is always a thrill, a real adrenaline rush. This will fade in most and the desire to go further begins. So knickers are joined by a bra, bra needs filling. Underwear needs to be , well, worn under something. A dress or skirt and top. Shoes will start to feature at some point. See where this is going?

Again as Connie points out, you'll need somewhere to store all this stuff or stash as it tends to be referred to here.

Living at home and being in the closet can therefore pose problems. You do need to plan for this. Think about how you'd deal with being discovered. Could that result in a real rift in your family relationships.

I'm not trying to put you off dressing. Hell no. I've had so much pleasure and enjoyment from CD'ing over the years I hope it's something you can experience to. Its just that now, at this point, you're experiencing what's referred to as the "Pink fog". The euphoric rush that can overtake us at times. And in fog you can't always see straight ahead.

So my piece of advice is, take it slowly. Acclimatise to your new situation. If you find the desire goes away then again, follow Connies advice and put your stuff into storage, don't throw it away. It's very likely the desire will return and purging and then re-purchasing can get expensive.

I wish you well on your journey.

[BrendaPDX]

Welcome I think you will like it here, keep us booked marked and feel free to share, this is a great group, and almost never a disparaging word. Take a look at all of the forms, there are always new people coming and going. I envy you, you are entering a very interesting and fun world, and general public acceptance has never been higher. Take care be safe and as others have said be respectful of the property of others. Sales Associates (SA) are great, the doesn't mean you won't be terrified with your first purchase. Check out thrift stores, it's a good place to start. Hope to be hearing more from you Brenda

[Ressie]

Many alive, don't steal panties seems to be a long time mantra around here. Don't let them guilt trip you about that. I've been on other CD sites where members don't make a big deal about it.

[New_Wearer]

Hi all,

Thanks for the welcoming comments and feedback. As a newbie it's clear I have a lot to learn and have taken on board the views expressed here by others.

I am going to be heading round to my aunt's house shortly as it will provide a free venue in which to dress away from home but I won't be taking anything further with me when I leave.

As I mentioned my aunt hasn't mentioned anything so far but the general consensus here is that she is aware of whats been happening. So why do people think she hasn't confronted me about it? And what sort of thoughts are likely to be going through her head at this stage?

[Ressie]

There are many possible reasons. 1- she might not feel comfortable about a confrontation. 2- she doesn't know yet. 3- she's used to having her undies disappear once in a while.

Maybe she's thinking her husband is getting back into her panty drawer again. She's wondering if she misplaced them? Or, she believes in ghosts

[Helen_Highwater]

Hi all,

As I mentioned my aunt hasn't mentioned anything so far but the general consensus here is that she is aware of whats been happening. So why do people think she hasn't confronted me about it? And what sort of thoughts are likely to be going through her head at this stage?

It's a difficult thing to initiate something that may bring about conflict within the family. If she confronts you and you deny it, it then comes to the notice of your parents, siblings could end up in a family feud. She may just be too embarrassed to say anything. Whatever the reason it's good you've seen sense and stopped stealing her things.

One of the members here has a tag line that goes something along the lines of, "They're not women's clothes, they're my clothes". There is a lot to be said for owning your own femme items. They're personal to you. You set your style. Clothes maketh the woman, the woman you want to be.

[New_Wearer]

Why do you say embarassed?

[Connie.Marie]

New Wearer,

If you are going back soon, would this be an opportunity to put them back where you found them (laundered)??
Maybe you can get them back before noticed they are gone..
Or would that cause more of a problem?

Just a thought.

Hugs, Connie

[Helen_Highwater]

Why do you say embarassed?

I wrote; "It's a difficult thing to initiate something that may bring about conflict within the family. If she confronts you and you deny it, it then comes to the notice of your parents, siblings could end up in a family feud. She may just be too embarrassed to say anything.

It's a fact of life that many people would rather let things go unsaid than "Cause a fuss". You should clearly understand being in your position of not having the confidence to go out an buy women's things that there is still a huge taboo amongst some, around males dressing in female attire. It's not a subject that comes up in polite conversation.

You've acknowledged that taking your aunts panties was the wrong thing to do. So could you wash and fold them, take them back to your aunt, hand them back and apologize while explaining you're a crossdresser and not feel even the slightest morsel of embarrassment? If you can't do that then understand she's likely to feel the same about confronting you.

[redtea]

Advice for new Crossdresser

1- Don't

2- Amazon is great for starting out

3- shopping in public is amazing, A real thrill- especially if you wear womens jeans while doing it

4- Bralette's are great as they don't have the large cup for breast you don't have.

5- CDing.com is a sensitive forum, thread with caution, Be mindful of your opinions, Don't talk about sex, the Adults on here can't handle it.

[Brandie.n]

New_wearer
Allot of good advice on here I am jumping in with how to pick a name.Personally my fem name was what i was going to be named if i was born a girl.It was after a popular song at the time"brandie your a fine girl"

[KatrinaK]

I have to agree on the stealing thing. Not only is it unethical but it certainly isn’t going to help you accept yourself and feel good about the whole thing. Amazon is great. If you’re worried about deliveries coming to the house, they have pickup lockers in 7-11s all over the place for 100% discretion. I still use them sometimes because it comes hours earlier than my house and sometimes you gotta try it on RIGHT NOW!

[IleneD]

New (darling).....,

Mwha-ha-ha-ha [evil laugh]. Now you've gone and done it.

The Curse of the Aunties Panties !!! You have opened up the Secret Inner Sanctum, much like breaking into King Tut's tomb. Now the curse is upon you, and you shall be destined to walk the earth in panties for eternity; (and possibly a nice lacy camisole, a LBD, perhaps heels). You have it now, and it will never go away. Never. Trust me on this.

Go and buy yourself something simple. Think of it as a starter set. A Little Black Dress or something to your liking, a bra and YOUR OWN panties. From now on, STEALING CLOTHES is verboten (forbidden). Don't even wear them temporarily and put them back without the owner's permission. You'll soon learn it's a personal space line to politely not cross.

Clothes are easy to buy. Just do it without a big crap-eating guilty look all over your face. Other shoppers will think you're trying to steal something. Do it in Guy Mode. Here's the secret about brazenly walking into a retail establishment like you own the place and purchasing lingerie or women's anything. NO ONE CARES. No one is watching or monitoring "the guy in aisle 8 buying panties".
Good luck curing your curse. It isn't a curse. Even after the angst, the turmoil and problems CD/TG has introduced into my existence, it is a BLESSING to be TG. A blessing, and I wouldn't trade this experience of self-awareness for any material gift the world can offer.

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My choice for Best Answer of the Thread (so far) goes to ..... Red Tea.
Here I am clowning around, giving poor New audacious advice; and you give her real practical Things To Do for a 21st Century CD.
Love #4 about barrettes; something I found quite by accident but it allows me to wear a bra nearly every day with anything. And yes.... Amazon (and the Thrift Store) are your friend.
THANKS, Tea. Love your answer.

[Milly1410]

I agree as well with the stealing thing, that wouldn't just be fair, but it wouldn't also be helpful to create your own femme self. Like many suggested, Amazon is great for you beginner, so you wouldn't fear being judged if buying in clothes, if you're not that sure about doing it. A suggestion that someone exposed is to pick up a girly name too, it would give you a start to develop your female persona too.