Advice for a New Crossdresser

[New_Wearer]

Hi, I just wanted to say hello to everyone as a relatively new crossdresser that is still finding his way with this all. I first started experimenting about 2 months ago and after a brief attempt to stop I have found myself restarting again in the last couple of weeks and now see this as something I’m going to explore further.

I had never really thought about crossdressing before but about 2 months ago I was housesitting for my aunt and uncle who had gone away for a few days. Whilst looking for a phone charger I inadvertently stumbled upon my aunt’s lingerie drawer. My aunt is a fairly conservative person and so I was slightly caught off guard by the sight of lace and nylon panties. During my time there, I tried on some of the panties and silky slips that I found and was instantly hooked. When I eventually left the house I took with me a pair of full cut black nylon panties with a lace trim, a hi-cut pink nylon pair with a lace trim, a silky white pair of panties and a plain white cotton pair. My aunt seemed to have a few pairs in these styles so I thought it would be less noticeable that they had gone missing.

Over the next couple of weeks I would wear at home in secret during times when my parents were out. However, whilst I enjoyed the wearing I would experience feelings of shame afterwards. As a result, I then had a purge of the undies in an attempt to stop. However, the urge never truly went away and on a subsequent visit to my aunt I ended up taking a few more pairs of panties. On this occasion, I ended up taking a hi-cut lacy red pair of panties, two pairs of full cut black nylon panties with lace trim and a full cut lacy white pair of panties.

I haven’t told anyone about my dressing and I anticipate that there would be a negative reaction from most people that I know. At this stage, I am still not ready to go shopping but would like to explore dressing further. It is therefore likely that my dressing will have to continue in secret for the foreseeable future. My aunt and uncle are due to go away again this weekend and will be giving my parents a key to their house so that the goldfish can be fed whilst they are away. I think this may enable an opportunity to take my dressing a bit further than just beyond lingerie and so as a novice was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to approach?

[Vickie_CDTV]

Yes, go buy your own clothes. Stop stealing your aunt's underwear and wearing her clothes. I guarantee she would not appreciate it, especially if you are an adult.

[Tracy Irving]

I have a few hundred pair of panties and would notice if eight were missing, just saying...

By now you should know your size so go to a big box store and buy your own panties. You can use the self checkout until you are comfortable purchasing from a cashier.

It might not take long before you are going into specialty lingerie shops and trying on high quality undergarments.

[Glenda58]

Like everyone else here buy your own. Welcome to the Forum. Your secret could be out with security cameras in homes you may have been seen all ready.

[PantyBoots]

Buying your own stuff: It took me until I was 23 to think of that. I didn't think when I was young.

[Majella St Gerard]

I agree with Vickie, snooping is one thing, trying on and stealing your aunt's panties is quite another. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Go buy your own stuff. With that said, welcome to the club.

[Helen_Highwater]

If there's one way to raise suspicion you've found it. How many more items are you going to take before it gets noticed.

I fully understand your reticence to buy your own. Buying women's underwear in drab is a daunting prospect. However there are many alternatives not least is online shopping. Buy through Amazon and you have the opportunity to have things delivered to a locker for pickup. Many other retailers offer click and collect or delivery to a local convenience store for collection. You have NO excuse for stealing.

Also have you considered that if your Aunt notices things dissappear only when you're looking after the house, she may say something to her sister!! Alternatively she may start to suspect her husband? Think about where that could lead.

You've, in your dressing, started into what we here consider to be a wonderful world of discovery. On this forum you'll find all the help and support you need. Just don't let your initial excitement take you down a path to family discord.

[nikinylons]

We all pretty much started in our mom's or aunt's lingerie drawer. Don't be afraid of who you are or what you want to buy. Just do it. Online CD/TG friendly shops are out there. For pantyhose and lingerie, I shop at Leggs online. Search it and order. Be a big girl and don't be afraid. We are living in the most accepting times of our lives.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes.....

Welcome to the forum and buy your own clothes.

You were placed in a position of trust and all you did was steal underwear.

[pamela7]

welcome "new wearer". as others have said, do not take others' clothes. It's a tough step, but a man can go into a shop and buy womens' clothes - sales assistants have seen everything, and it is very normal for a man to buy women's clothes. Yes it can feel embarrassing, so go shopping in early morning/late eve when there are less other shoppers around.

One of your first things might be to choose a female name for us to use here.

Depends where you live but people are tons more accepting now than they were. in some parts it's almost fashion for men to cross-dress. you might want to try more androgynous clothing for early outings.

best of luck - it's an adventure

[New_Wearer]

Hi all,

I suppose buying will be a step that I eventually will have to take no matter how daunting it seems at this stage. Moving forwards, I certainly wouldn’t want to create discord between people so I guess my current approach cannot be a long-term solution. My aunt hasn’t mentioned anything thus far and so I am unaware if she knows anything at all.

With regards to a female name, how did you select yours Pamela?

[pamela7]

With regards to a female name, how did you select yours Pamela?

I needed a name for this forum, and an old work project name just popped up. Once i checked out the etymology it felt perfect.

[KatrinaK]

I have to agree on the stealing thing. Not only is it unethical but it certainly isn’t going to help you accept yourself and feel good about the whole thing. Amazon is great. If you’re worried about deliveries coming to the house, they have pickup lockers in 7-11s all over the place for 100% discretion. I still use them sometimes because it comes hours earlier than my house and sometimes you gotta try it on RIGHT NOW!

[Allisa]

How do you know there isn't a hidden camera? I know she has noticed her panties missing, you made a disturbance in the order.

[New_Wearer]

I'm fairly certain there isn't a camera in place. However, even though I tried to be careful to replicate the order as best I could I guess that could be a possibility.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Wow! You stole 5 pair if your aunt's panties and you don't think she'll notice. She may have a full drawer of panties, but how do you know that the " hi-cut lacy red pair of panties" that you stole aren't her favorite? She might be looking for them.

She doesn't need a hidden camera; that's new technology. There are plenty of old school ways to find out. She could easily stick a small slip of paper on the side of the drawer that falls out when the drawer is open. This goldfish sitting job might just be a trap.

In short, stealing panties is not nice, and you may be caught. And, your aunt won't ask you directly. She'll ask your mom (or dad) if they think that you could possibly be the one who's stealing her panties. Think about that.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who started "borrowing" mom's panties. I did. But I very carefully place everything back exactly where they came from.

So, here's my advice:
1. Don't steal any more panties from your aunt
2. If you still have any panties you stole, wash them and put them back; or put them in her dirty laundry to be washed.
2. Learn how to cover your tracks
3. If you must borrow, return everything back to where it came from in the same condition,

[Jennifer2918]

Welcome to the forum and stop taking others clothes.

Since you have an idea of your size, go to a Ross or Marshalls and get your own. If anyone says anything, just say its your wife's/girlfriends birthday. No one will think twice.

If you want outwear type clothings, start with a thrift store like Goodwill. Lots of crossdressers shop there and they wont' think anything of it.

[Connie.Marie]

Hello there New Wearer,
First Welcome to the forum.
Yes, I think you got the point to stop stealing, start buying.

My advice is to think long & hard about your name because it is a pain in the neck to change later.
I would suggest something that you think is pretty & feminine, something that is normal, that you can use all your life.

We don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're young & don't have much money. I have found that like minded friends are willing to share & tend to upgrade often. Lots of my clothes are hand me downs.
We don't know where you live but if we did, someone there from the forum, could help you. PM someone nearby after you get 10 posts

BTW, once you buy, I'm guessing that you're going to need a place to stash your stuff. Start thinking about it now.

Another piece of advice, Don't purge! If you feel the need to stop, then just put it all in a bag & put away for awhile, or in storage or have a friend hold on to it for you... pull it all back out again when the urge returns. It will save you a lot of time & money.

Hope that helps,
Hugs, Connie

[New_Wearer]

Thanks Joanne. I am trying to embrace it as best I can.

Jamie - I had an initial purge so it's not going to be possible with some of the ones that were taken but for the rest I guess it may be too late by the time I get around to buying.

[CONSUELO]

Dear New Wearer,
You are on a road to trouble. Stop stealing your aunt's lingerie and go out and buy your own. Its fine to be a cross dresser but not a thief.

[sabrina1955]

New wearer, wellcome to the forum.
I would imagine you are heading for some embarrassing times ahead if you keep this up.
You probably have no idea of the cost of underwear, but the items you describe don't sound like the everyday wear but more like either gifts or special moments items and due to their description I would suspect it would be noticed they are missing.
Get your own then enjoy.
How are you going to explain to your Mum when your aunt tells her that her underwear is going missing when you house sit.

[Jaylyn]

If your aunt is anything like most women that are slightly older they have a rider for everything. You mentioned that she had several pairs that are the same color or style, she either found a package on sale and bought the whole package or she is fond of that color and style, now you think she won't notice? Every woman has a color she lives and those are the ones she'll probably start looking for when the pair she is wearing gets dirty and she wants another clean pair to wear. I would bet she may have already noticed that her drawers have been tampered with. I'm like the rest here jet buy your own and then if you are ready to purge you can do what you want with them. We all have purged at some point because of guilt. I'm a full time panty wearer now and I love it as I own my own panties. I have a drawer for them as you can see in one of the threads here where many wear them and took pictures of their dressers drawers full of panties.
Also I would be taken aback by any lingerie you may have seen just because you think your aunt is conservative, what she does in her married life and the way she wants to dress is her business just like its your business to not steal, and be a good house setter. Many on here began from their own moms things ( I did ) by now I own my own dressing attire and makeup, wigs and even heels. Young man I would also like to advise you if you should start dressing get your own things. Then if you get a runner in your hose at least you can discard those and not the ones from a crime scene where you stole them. Remember dressing is fun so enjoy it but do it right by not stealing because then your probably going to get caught.
Welcome to the site you can learn a lot from here. ( including ethics) lol welcome.

[Micki_Finn]

I’ve gotta agree with everyone else. Stealing is absolutely wrong. It doesn’t matter that she “hasn’t noticed yet”. Remember you are representing an already marginalized and misunderstood community and your actions reflect poorly on all of us.

[Stephanie47]

Welcome to the forum. I do agree with the others. Do not steal your aunt's lingerie/panties. The vast majority of women will notice if the lingerie draw has been perused by someone. By your count you have taken at least eight panties. After many years she would be aware if your uncle was messing in her drawers. It is a safe bet she suspects you have been in private areas of the home. If you do not want to be 'outed' this is not the way to keep a secret. Get your own clothes. It is obvious you have a computer. That means you can peruse any website to figure out what you want to buy and where. Make a list and head to the store. You'll be the judge as to how far you want to expand your dressing. Living with your parents is going to be a challenge.

[Tracii G]

Welcome
You don't think she is going to miss 8 pair of panties?
Lets be honest here the phone charger line no one believes and you had every intention to get into her panty drawer didn't you?
Stealing is wrong and you know it.If it doesn't belong to you why do you think its OK to steal it?
Your Aunt is going to know where they went and all the lies in the world won't hide what you did.
If you still have them put them back if not then you have broken her trust and once thats gone you will never get it back.
She WILL tell your parents eventually so be ready.
You are all responsible for your actions so if you get in a huge shit storm its your fault .

Buy your own panties and clothes if you want to dress.