Advice for a New Crossdresser

[KatrinaK]

The other side effect from stopping purging (aka self-acceptance,) aside from a lifetime of good mental health, more money, etc, is that you allow yourself to invest in nicer things because you view it as buying yourself something nice instead of feeding some kind of shameful addiction (which it is not, and you will eventually realize that)

My makeup kit is worth more than my surf board. I’m no more likely to start throwing it or Coach purses away as I am to light money on fire. My wife would divorce me if I purged at this point, but only for financial reasons.

[New_Wearer]

So it has been a good while since I've engaged in any dressing but this week it has been returning to my thoughts. I have thought about coming out to people so that I don't need to keep it hidden anymore. I was wondering how others who have come out approached the situation and thought the best way to go about this was? I anticipate there will be some negativity and not just from my aunt and so would like to minimise the damage as much as possible.

[Charlotte7]

New wearer - before your question can be answered, there are one of two more that need to be asked: Who do you want to come out to? Why? Are you sure that you're ready? Have you thought about the worst things that can happen should you come out? Have you given any thought as to how you might come out? I have recently done an amount of letting people know that I dress, but it's not something that can be done on a whim and without thinking it through.

[New_Wearer]

Well I guess I don't know the best way to come out which is why I am interested to hear from others who have done so. In terms of the worst things that can happen - I guess there is a lot that can go wrong but the consensus on here from other users is that significant others are already probably aware and so the likelihood is that it won't come as much of a shock as I initially thought. On that basis, perhaps it is better to confront the issue and have an open and frank dialogue with affected parties to the situation.

[char GG]

Not sure who you mean by affected parties. Is it your aunt? Your parents? Do you have a girlfriend? Your group of friends, in general? How important is dressing to you? Is it an impulsive thing such as stealing your aunt’s underwear or has it been a lifelong happening? Do you want to come out for shock value or do you really feel your friends and family will have a better understanding of how you tick if you came out? Be careful what you do because it can’t be undone if you find this was a passing phase or attention seeking behavior. Be sure of your motives and understand yourself.

[Crissy 107]

New_Wearer, Some pretty good advice already so I would just say to take your time and I also agree on thinking it through. Maybe decide on only one person at first and try and pick the one you think would be the most ok. Good luck.
Crissy

[Bobbi46]

New_Wearer,
A whole pile of good advice here but you do not tell us how old you are, if as I think you are young could it just be part of growing up and finding about life, you have to be sure that you are a true CD rather than this is just a phase caused by growing up if it is this panty urge could grow out as you mature.
The other thing is a lot of amazement may come about and depending on who you tell once the genie is out of the bottle you cannot be put back in.
What if this is just a passing phase of growing up and pou tell people and you loose friends and some family members may not be able to comprehend your lifestyle and then it all fizzles out after a few months, a few years? you could have lost a lot on the way.
I would excercise great caution consider yourself carefully look at all the aspects of what motivates you, is it a deep need or is it a just a mild interst. In any case hold back from telling until you know properly which direction you want to point in definately for the future and not just a passing whim.
Good luck and be careful.

[IleneD]

Advice for new CD's?
This stuff ain't for sissies or the faint of heart.
You go, girl.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi NW , Before you dive into the deep end of the pool,

See LINE #4 in my Signature. >Orchid ..oo..

[New_Wearer]

Well thanks for the informative comments. As no significant others are yet aware it does help being able to discuss this with others on here who have greater experience and wisdom than myself. I guess one of my biggest hopes to achieve from potentially coming out would be to attain the same kind of direction and guidance without being made to feel marginalised.

I have been doing this on/off since earlier this year and so I guess this has now probably gone beyond a passing phase. Certainly previous attempts to stop have inevitably always ended in failure and so I guess I am ready to accept that this is something I want to continue to explore to see where it takes me.