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Thread: Levels of Crossdressing

  1. #1
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    Levels of Crossdressing

    Over the many years I have dabbled in crossdressing, several times I have attempted to give it up, purge all my stuff and be safe with my life. Giving it up never works. Last weekend, I decided to get away to a local city, secure a hotel room and spend the following two days en femme. I must admit, it was great and I ventured out into public on several occasions, shopping, buying coffee at Starbucks and getting gas for my car. Sure, I received some stares (mostly from females) but overall allowed me to live out this exciting life. I reflected on the many stages or levels of dressing that I think apply to most of us and thought I would share them. These are only my thoughts.

    Closet Dressing: Top Secret Security clearance required. Always seeking hiding places for fem items. Always covering your tracks. Somehow the 1960ish song "Secret Agent Man" by Johhny Rivers applies. With every move he makes, another chance he takes.

    Level 2: Yeah, this is where I think I am. Nobody knows about my dressing but am venturing out mostly into gay bars in distant cities where I won't be recognized. I often take long drives dressed and have used female rest stops. Still very secret. My wife does not know. My stuff is always locked away.

    Level 3: These people are the Masters Degree of crossdressing. They are open and out there in public. Their families know or worse, have found out and abandonded them. Most of all, they are honest about their feelings. I think most of us would like to be at this level.

    Level 4: The PHD of dressing. These folks have given everything up and taken on the work required to transition to full female. Hormones, electrolysis and surgery are on the "do-list". They are the most relaxed and easiest people to talk with. Very respected folks.

    Thanks for reading this rambling. I just needed to unwind and this forum is my only place.

  2. #2
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    The only thing I'd suggest you re-examine is the idea that there is a hierarchy of "levels." Each of the people you describe is doing what it right for them and it's perfectly OK. People who are closet dressers are not "less than" people who are full-time out as long as both of them are happy. If someone's not happy with what they're doing, then they certainly need to change what they do, but it's not leveling-up -- it's finding their happiness.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Agree with Pat. You wouldn’t talk about the levels of race or religion right? (At least I hope not). It’s it’s just a different experience for everyone.

  4. #4
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Be careful your building boxes and pigeon holing people. What works for you is not what works for others and vice-versa. Enjoy your dressing, it is not a competition.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    It's ok, Janet. As a "beginner" that's a summation of how it looks to u. But, it's much more complicated for some folks and much simpler for others. Having an SO who doesn't know is a huge complication! If u lived alone, thing how much simpler dressing would be?

    When I came out to my live in, adult daughter, my stress level dropped, all the lying and hiding became unnecessary. My dressing became enjoyable again! She doesn't approve but we have worked out a do able compromise!

    Your levels won't often apply. I'm a CD about at your Level 3. With zero desire to go any farther. Much less to your Level 4!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
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    I'm not a psychologist. I do know there is a vast different between me and a transwoman who is transitioning from male to female. I cannot attest to how anyone but me feels about wearing women's clothing. I consider a man who wears one or two articles of clothing to be a fetish dresser. Wearing panties and pantyhose is rather tame. On the other extreme it may be an evening gown with heels and hosiery, proper undergarments, makeup and wig, etc. Throw in the proper enhancements required for a womanly shape; breasts and hip/butt padding and the rainbow of opportunity is vast.

    My comfort zone is rather limited. I am content to be an in-home wearer of women's clothing. My needs are satisfied. Everyone is unique. My problem with creating levels of wearing women's clothing is a transwoman is not really a man wearing a dress. I will never fall into level 4. Unfortunately, those who truly are destined for level 4 go through levels 1 through 3.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    So you are in a DADT situation. It is different for all of us and there are no levels as all of us are different.
    Part Time Girl

  8. #8
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I don't think you can make simple levels like you did. I have only once every gone out of the house dressed (and it was half fem and for a halloween party, this is currently my profile picture). My wife and her best friend know but otherwise a secret. So I do not fit any of your levels. I prefer to think of it as a n-dimensional spectrum.

  9. #9
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Of course there are different levels. There are different levels of pretty much everything. For example there are low level musicians that I'd rather not jam with because they can't keep up with me. Or they might not play the same genre of music that I play. And some may not wanna jam with me because they can sight read much better than I can or way more advanced. There are also CDs that don't want to be seen in public with CDs - that they consider are at a lower or different level. Sad, but it's true.

    We shouldn't be like that because we're all crossdressers, transexuals or transgender in some way. And hopefully most of us don't think in those terms. The reality is some do and some don't. We all have reasons for being where we're at as crossdressers.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  10. #10
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    We all do what we are comfortable with and what works for us. It is impossible to generalize and classify us into "levels". Each of us has our own unique "level". There are as many levels are there are crossdressers.

  11. #11
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who divide everything into categories and the other kind.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    The only thing is your level 4 is beyond crossdressing

    It describes a transexual who seemed to be crossdressing but was actually dressing in their true gender.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  13. #13
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    You mentioned Masters and PhD as analogies for crossdressing levels, but didn't assign a level to Bachelor's.
    I will. All four levels were BS.
    If you wear women's clothing you're a crossdresser, and has nothing to do with how "out" you are, how feminine you feel, how honest or respectable you are, or transition.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shelly Preston View Post
    The only thing is your level 4 is beyond crossdressing

    It describes a transexual who seemed to be crossdressing but was actually dressing in their true gender.
    Thank you Shelly, I was wondering when someone would step in and point out that it's not all about dressing.
    Actually I think level 3 is a fairly big step towards living in ones 'preferred' gender and the clothes are just a means to do so, but it is merely my opinion.

    Cass

  15. #15
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    I would say that for every level of crossdressing, there is a sub level, a category and a sub category, etc. As they say in golf, find the sweet spot when hitting the ball. You need to find your personal balance and comfort zone, then enjoy. Don't get hung up in putting CD'ing into "boxes", because just when you think you have it, something will come along and throw a wrench into the works. By example, my comfort zone doesn't fit into any of your levels!
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  16. #16
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    Janet, don't lose heart at so many taking issue with your levels. They are right. There can't be so few levels for so many of us who just don't fit them. You are a 4 year forum member. Stay with us, Janet. Don't lose the opportunity to trade thoughts and ideas.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Level fifteen, just thinking about it.

    Level ten, doing something about it.

    Level five, Dressing all the way, with makeup even....

    Level one Twenty four hours from Tulsa out to the malls and living full time.

    You can fill in the gaps.

    I think I am at level two on my scale.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  18. #18
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    WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks

  19. #19
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Only four levels? I don't see one that works for me...

  20. #20
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    I think there is a sort of level idea to anything one does and being trans might have levels too. It's not so much that everyone fits into levels created by another person. But some people do have levels or let's say they have goals they want to reach. I think very few people and maybe none on this forum went from being a man and the next day they are having breast implants. Maybe a better word would be steps. One takes steps to reach who they want to be. Not all people follow the same steps. But most people have an idea what they would like to achieve as their final stage in this life. And they take steps to get there. I am not saying everyone here is going to be a woman, but everyone has a goal of what they would like to be in life. Whatever that goal is just be happy on that path.
    In solitude where we are least alone. Byron

  21. #21
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JanetM. View Post
    WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks
    Janet -- I hope at least part of the lesson is that people who disagree with your thesis aren't attacking you personally. Don't go away. Stay and talk with us.

    I totally get why at first it seems like there are levels -- because we are trained to see hierarchies and it's a natural first try. I think we're just saying that it's not a good model for transgender people -- there's no such thing as someone who is "more trans" than someone else so there can't be hierarchies. I tend to think a good model is villages with roads between them. Some people find the village that suits them and settle down there. Some keep moving along the road perhaps stopping at one village or another until they find the village that suits them. But if you're happy in the village of bearded men in dresses then you're just as perfectly placed as someone who's happy in the village of third-gender transfeminine people.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  22. #22
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    I like your hierarchy. I do not find it offensive at all. I'm a proud member of the third level.

  23. #23
    The avvy pic isn't me
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    Don't be disheartened by the responses Janet, it was actually a very well written post and I hope to see more.
    You've no doubt been around long enough to know that thread starting opens the door for folks to agree or disagree with the topic.

    It's definitely not to be taken personal. As you said yourself this is a place to vent and unwind; so by all means ramble on , and sing your song...yeah yeah yeah.

    A little zeppelin in case you missed it.

    Cass

  24. #24
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JanetM. View Post
    WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks
    Janet.

    Alas as soon as I read your post I knew you would be subjected to a 'lesson'. It's in the blood of many members here. Pat says not to take it personally but I know from experience it often is meant to be personal. I bang on a lot about wanting to here ALL opinions whether or not I agree with them. Unfortunately some seem to think that if you have a different opinion to them you are a troll (heard that accusation yet again to someone else only yesterday). I wish people could just have their say without a backlash. I've read lots of stuff that I seriously do not agree with but it all forms part of life's great tapestry and I want to hear it all, afterall, who is to say any one persons opinion is correct? Furthermore many here like to be offended but NOTHING offends me as you can only be offended if you choose to be, and I do not. I know it's hard but please don't be disheartened.

  25. #25
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    I'm a level 3 since years, and I'll stay at that level. Fortunately my wife tolerates if she doen't have to see me dressed.

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