Other day I was at the local WallyWld. in the clothing section filling my shopping cart with some cute clothes when a young female sales associate passed me by saying "Have a nice day SIR"Now really...wasn't that a bit uncalled for? I realize I was in drab but can't people just keep their thoughts to themselves? Have any of you had similar experiences?
Did she say it in a nasty way, or was she just being polite? I don't know how things are in CT. but in TX, she would have been considered extremely rude if she had walked by without saying anything.
sounds like she was making it known that a guy was shopping in a section she personally felt he didn't belong in. Yes, she was being rude and should have been reported to the manager.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Sounds like she was being polite and greeting the customers as she is no doubt encouraged to do by store (and chain) policy. If you are dressed as a man you should expect to be addressed as "sir".
I don't see anything to complain about.
Krisi
Quite could have been possible that my radar mistook her comment....I could have taken it the wrong way. It really didn't bother me at all and wasn't bad enough to warrant a complaint to management.
People rightfully object when being called Sir when in femme mode. Most of us agree that pronouns and other labels (like Sir/Ma'am) should be used according to how we present ..... which is what the SA did. What's the beef?
Having worked in retail for many years if you were dressed in drab I also would have called you sir, although the way that 'Sir' is delivered could make the difference.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
You ever find it strange that people are quick to get offended if someone says "hello or have a nice day sir".
I have family up that way and I was with one of them and some one said "have a nice day guys" at the gas station.
Nick my cousin said " whats wrong with that guy he doesn't know us" "what right does he have to tell me anything?"
I said chill out bro' its just a greeting don't worry about it.
Took him 30 mins to get over it.I'm not sure if its guilt or just a bad attitude but he is annoying and I don't care for him all that much.
If it was said in a polite even time then no harm. If it was said with emphasise on the Sir and a pause then probably judgemental.
All over the country, some people use the language to get in digs.
It’s possible the SA was being friendly. But the first thing a helpful SA typically says to a customer is, “May I help you?”
So it’s also possible the SA was trying to get in a dig. That’s happened to me a couple times.
In male mode, as I was, I could hardly complain about being called “sir.” But I did take the comment for how it seemed intended, and I factored that into my thinking about the businesses.
If I can, I don’t spend my money at businesses that treat me poorly — for any reason.
That said, the vast
majority of my SA interactions have been cordial and friendly. SAs are typically great!
Can't say that I've ever had a problem with how I was addressed. One time though, I was shopping in a CVS for hair color and was in drab. I was looking through the "women's" hair color, Clairol or whatever and the salesgirl said to me.... "the men's hair color is in the next aisle". Was she trying to be helpful or did she have a problem with a guy looking at "women's" hair color. If tone of voice was an indicator, she had a problem. Either way it didn't bother me.
I never had problems shopping in women's dept. I went to many different shop and people there including staff .
Most women are friendly and some are chatting with me.
Rayleen
Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.
Rayleen
All of you that questioned the simple greeting would never have a sane moment down here in Florida. This is a simple way of saying, Hi glad you are here. After all if you weren't here we wouldn't get to sale you anything and I wouldn't have a job, so I'm happy to see you.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
Surely there are better ways to spend your limited time on the planet than worrying about stuff like this. If it was malicious, so what, who cares, move on. If it was polite, great, so what, move on.
It sopunds like you misinterpreted her comment to mean more than what she said. If she made a reference to what department or items you had, you have a gripe but not from what your posts says. Now if you were enfemme you have something. WallyWorld gets a bum rap yet I find most of their SA's are more helpful than most in many other more "respected" chains. Hope you found nice things.
Let me get this right; you were in drab and you object to her calling you "sir"?.
I usually find life goes a lot easier if you don't borrow trouble; usually you've got more than enough.
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
A long time ago my daughter told me using capitals when email is akin to yelling. Joann underlined and capitalized the "SIR." If the person is elevating the "SIR" in decibels or changing the inflection of the word I suspect the sales associate was showing her disapproval of a man she suspects is buying female clothes for himself. My personal observation of sales associates on the floor at a Wal-Mart is they are of a lower educational achievement class. Minimum wages job holders. In general terms I find more acceptance among the more educated people. Of course there are highly educated people who show disapproval and non acceptance, and, poorly educated who show acceptance. I would consider it a slight.
Has that happened to me? Yes, decades ago I was buying a Vanity Fair pull on white half slip in a size that would have fit me. Trying to fly under the radar I even had the newspaper advertisement (way before the Internet) with the size written and circled. The sales associate (JC Penny) who was older snidely said, "OH, SHE even wrote the size down for you!" with a smirkie smile.
Hell-o Joann,
Yes, it has happened to me too.
I was out to dinner with a forum friend.
This was the first time I had ever met with
her, so I really didn’t know how she felt about
these sort of things.
Well, our waiter had greeted us, and went through
the the specials, etc. Before leaving us he asked
“can I start you guys off with something to drink?”
(silly question).
You tell me how that comment was meant to be
heard.
It didn’t bother me so much, other than the fact
that I know darn well it would bother some of us,
and possibly my new friend too.
Diane, you should have told that SA something like...
”thats good to know, but do you think this stuff can
be used on rabbits? They are females.
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
There is another thread going on right now about "crossdresser signal" on how cds can be identified while out and about. Now if you had one of those shiny decoder rings that had a big CD printed on it, you could have coughed a bit and showed the SA the ring and she would apologize.
Me, I would have poked her eye out with a knitting needle.
In solitude where we are least alone. Byron
"Thank you Madam" is my retort to scarcastic comments like that, then ask for the persons identification and report them by buying a postage stamp and writing a letter of complaint.
It works better than sending an email.
The store is then obliged to reply and of course, put the letter on file. :-)
Yes I can be a B*****d sometimes.
Last edited by Beverley Sims; 03-09-2018 at 06:55 AM.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
“can I start you guys off with something to drink?”
That's very common and it's not intended as an insult. "guys" in this case is a way to address a group of people, male, female or mixed.
Now if the restroom doors had signs indicating "guys" and "gals", that would be a different use of the word.
Krisi
Did she emphasize the word "sir", as you have written it? If so, she was definitely out of bounds.
One tack that might be worth trying is to accept all comments, whether sincere, mean, sarcastic or ironic, at their word and reply with "Thank you" and a smile. Show them you're not put off by them and move on. Of course its easier said than done. I try, with varying success, but the moving on really helps me to keep enjoying my day.
Oh, come on! Give SA's a break. Most try so hard to be nice and please everyone. You're presenting as a guy and the SA's supposed to know your trans and call u---what? Miss? Mrs? Maam? Lady?
Imagine how confusing this all is for them!?
I'm perfectly satisfied to be called ANYTHING by SA's as long as they r smiling when they say it!
I'll never forget that poor, harried service lady serving a long line of patrons waiting for food in a Vegas hotel lobby. I was on my way to a T event dressed and she got me my sandwich and called me, "Sir". I thot nothing of it until she came back with my change and apologised for called me that. I told her it didn't bother me but that it was very nice of her, busy as she was, to even think of mentioning it!
Because it WAS!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
A simple "Thanks, and you have a great day as well" would have covered it either way.
Karen
Last edited by Karen RHT; 03-10-2018 at 09:18 AM. Reason: Typo
Total wisdom. I always say I'll accept any pronoun used with respect. In the OP, "Sir" was underlined which seems to imply a little topspin added to it, so maybe it wasn't respectful? Dunno. https://youtu.be/0OnpkDWbeJsOriginally Posted by docrobbysherry
I'm perfectly satisfied to be called ANYTHING by SA's as long as they r smiling when they say it!
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
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