After Your Gone

[Robin777]

My wife has also known about my dressing before we we married. We have been married for almost 39 years and we have shopped together for clothes all those years and she knows what I have as she has picked out a lot of it. I have told her, if I go before she does sell my slip and nightgown collection on Ebay. Don't haul it to the thrift store. It will get a quite a bit when sold. I don't care what happens to the rest. I would imagine she would keep part of it for herself and donate the rest. It will take her more than a few trips to donate it all. Maybe she can take it to a consignment store and sell a lot of it. We have no children so that won't be a problem. If she asks her sister to help with it, I can just imagine what she will say.

[Janie Jane]

Another fun thing to speculate. What if we croak in full regalia, dressed to the nines, and our DADT wives come home to find us dead from a heart attack in full kit? To see the look on their faces...

Jean,
How good are you at lying perfectly still, not blinking, and breathing shallowly? Ooohhh, that evil passive-aggressive side of me....

[Micki_Finn]

I’m pretty much out to anyone who matters so I’d be very disappointed if my friends didn’t fight over my wardrobe when I’m gone.

[abby054]

I have a girl cave at a heated storage unit that I rent by the year. It has quite a wardrobe. Fits 19 feet of closet rod and has furniture, such as a five foot wide vanity, shelves for 50 pairs of shoes, a chair, and two full length mirrors. Even has photos of Abby gracing the walls and there are books about crossdressing. Wife knows nothing of it. Neither does anyone else that I know of. I easily walk to it from my office. If I die suddenly, I sometimes wonder who will discover this and what will happen to the clothes and to the story of how they were discovered. I suppose it will make no difference to me as I will be gone. I can lock,it from the inside. If I die while alone in the unit, it may be months before I am found.

[Heisthebride]

My wife is accepting of my dressing and could clean up if she should choose to do so. Beyond that I do have my friends who know about my dressing and friends who don’t. My curiosity lies with the, how did you know the deceased questions that could bear out at the wake/funeral.

I have considered recording a video that I could share with everyone upon passing. Im not sure I if I would share this before or during the funeral. But at many of the funerals I attend have large photo collages. I would love to have one board dedicated to me being dressed up.

[Stephanie47]

Another fun thing to speculate. What if we croak in full regalia, dressed to the nines, and our DADT wives come home to find us dead from a heart attack in full kit? To see the look on their faces...

OK, now you ladies are going over the top. May I suggest before your demise if you have a bitch of a non supportive wife who constantly denigrates you and is caustic make some prearrangements with a funeral director. Outline with the funeral home you want to be layed out in your favorite dress with wig and full makeup. That would surely cause a stir.

[Alice B]

I love Sarah Charies response

[Molly Wells]

I love Sarah Charies response

I agree Alice. I had thought about something like that long ago but never followed through on it. Probable a good thing to do.

[Carrie R]

I'll probably be found half-eaten by cats, but oh well!

[CONSUELO]

You need a will.
I can imagine a scene such as you see in film where the family gathers after the funeral and the lawyer reads out the bequests. "To my sister I leave my collection of wigs and lingerie" Whattt?

Sorry that Harvey hit you so hard. It seems you were hit at home as well as at the storage unit. My home was above the record flood waters but every day I have to drive through areas that were badly affected and watch them slowly rebuild. Some homes seem to have no work going on at all and with a hot and humid southern summer just around the corner I wonder what they will be like in a few months.

[Jenny22]

Hi, Molly. I raised a similar question and had many sisters responding with great comments and suggestions. If you are interested, go back to Jan. 8, 2016 and look for 'Death unexpectedly.'

[Glenda58]

A friend of mine passed away some yrs. ago. I helped his son pack his things for donation. When we came across some slips and silk night gowns. I told his son he had some women friends that came over to visit sometime and it might be theirs. I had told my friend that I was a crossdresser and he didn't say a thing. I think I know why now.

[Nancie64]

What a question! My wife and I have talked about this and if we both for some strange reason pass at the same, her sister knows about Nancie and will be the first here to pilfer some of her nice skirts and dresses. My 1st wife also knows and I would hope she might jump in to help my daughters to clean up, they know nothing about my dressing. I do have one pic that they may find and on the back an explaination that since one of them always use to say that I would not make a very good looking woman ye proof is in the pic. Makeover at Amy in Vegas and she took the pic. Not really to bad. And you are right, after we are gone, what are they going to do, spit on our grave, we won't know.

[Allison Chaynes]

Through genealogy research, I have found family secrets WAY more upsetting than anything to do with CDing. Not worried about it.

[Terri_Cross]

I've thought on this a few times in the past and still don't know as I have an answer yet. I am planning on writing up a short note to leave in a sheet cover explaining the items and my wishes for them in my closet with my various clothing. Not much else I can do above that. I'm thinking times like that have different plans when you're single.

[Becky Blue]

Do you think perhaps a sign on my safely hidden stash saying Radioactive Waste Do NOT open the box, dispose of Responsibly could work?

[Leslie Mary S]

Do you think perhaps a sign on my safely hidden stash saying Radioactive Waste Do NOT open the box, dispose of Responsibly could work?

Better make it a Locked steel or led lined box.

[lingerieLiz]

Given that my wife is aware and daughters know I figure Goodwill will do well. Most all my clothes don't fit any of them. I have no desire to have a funeral. Several of our shopping friends will miss my expertise, but they don't shop like the old days when we were all younger.

[Cherylgyno]

I can't speak for any one else.
For myself it is in my Will about how I am to be dressed etc. My wife knows that my clothes are to be donated to a charity of her choice.

[Krisi]

Another fun thing to speculate. What if we croak in full regalia, dressed to the nines, and our DADT wives come home to find us dead from a heart attack in full kit? To see the look on their faces...

I was dressed one morning but when I went to put my earrings on, my fingers wouldn't work right. This seemed like a problem so I called my wife to come back from the gym and take me to the emergency clinic. I changed back to "boy" while she was coming home (except for my yellow panties). She took me to the emergency clinic and they called an ambulance to take me four blocks to the hospital. I had had a TIA or "mini stroke".

Yes, whenever we dress we run the risk of "croaking" dressed. At least my wife won't be shocked or disappointed.

[Nicole Erin]

A few years ago I had a Cd friend who's dad had died. She was the one tasked with cleaning all the stuff out of the apartment. The dad was a hoarder apparently. Just piles of junk, car service records for vehicles that were like 30+ years old, furniture etc.
In one room, there was a closet completely full of women's panties. Folded, organized, like they were never used. It was the only CD-related thing we found. I imagine we were the only two who even knew about it. There was no shock though because me and my friend being TG and all. I guess if any other of his kids had to clean the place it would have been weird.

Death is kind of an invasion to your privacy. But not like you would have to explain anything after you are gone.

If someone finds something you left behind all it dos is raise speculation as to what went on. After a week, life goes on. I would not worry.

This is probably the most likely outcome. People die, there is a short mourning period, then life goes on.

This topic has come up before. I find it strange, or amusing, or ... let's just say ... interesting that so many of us here seem to think loved ones might be more upset that you crossdress than you're dead.

Very true actually. I think the cause for worry is sometimes when people get outed, especially public figures, it is this big shock that makes the front page of the national enquirer.
So we think the focus of the funeral will be "We found out he was TRANNY'ING!" It is like people chomp at the bit for any teeny piece of dirt they can dig up about someone.

Do you think perhaps a sign on my safely hidden stash saying Radioactive Waste Do NOT open the box, dispose of Responsibly could work?

No cause it would make the news, gas prices would go up, the entire neighborhood would get blocked off, flights delayed, social justice warriors trying to make it about their own agendas, tin-foil hat wearers freaking out, and just all the other societal ills would flare up simultaneously, all over a box that says "radioactive". You know how stupid people are.

[Nef]

Please let me die in my high heels and black cocktail dress.. as a closet babe, i expect family members to die from a heart attack too... now that is gonna be awkward in heaven (or most likely in hell)

[Leslie Mary S]

It is interesting subject that many can relate to since we have such a large section of 'Over the hill' members (or so it seems when the subject of age comes up). I think of 'Over The Hill' as over 65. Yep I am ,Over the hill, too.

[Pat]

I think of 'Over The Hill' as over 65.

I prefer to think of it as over 66. This year.

[Ozark]

I prefer to think of it as over 66. This year.

I prefer to think of it as voer 70. This year.