Thank you all for your responses.
I didn't mean to imply that I need or want anything from Monnica other than what we have and offer each other. I don't think I'll be creating a laundry list of demands and wishes, not my style, and not how I took her question. The way I understood it, the way I perceived it, was that M feels like this is all about her;What she wants and desires, etc. It's been a private part for so long that she didn't have anyone to help her explore and do the things that were only in her head up until now, up until me. I think she just wants to make sure that it's not all about her, but about me, and together-us.
Monnica wants to know my desires and fantasies and what I want to experience with her. And while it's not that I don't have any, I am fairly in my head about it all, and a pretty private person, so even sharing that with M is hard, masc or femme. I have also been in some pretty crappy relationships where I was left to feel like I was being used, in all matters that one can be. It was never about me or what I wanted, so I didn't really dare to think about that, and now am not fully even sure. Now, throw in there the unique twist that cd'ing brings into it, and I have to retrain myself, so to speak. I don't feel like a "lesbian", as I have heard and read other GG's feeling like that is what is expected of them, I feel like me, in love with the whole of a person who is my perfect puzzle piece.
What makes me happy is making M happy, seeing her happy, turning her on, knowing that she enjoys the little things I do that let her know it's finally okay to be the person she was feeling on the inside, to whatever extent she wants, as long as we remain open and communicate with one another where things are going, how they are, and what we would both like. It's in the time we spend together. Everything we do.
I used the words/terms "selfish, "narcissistic and "far fetched", because those are the terms M has used in conversations with me. She feels, to some degree, what she does is selfish, especially when it was hidden and made such a mess of her life. Narcissistic, or narcissism, because many people are this way, cd'ers or not, people are. To define: "having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.", would you not say that a fair few of you are this way? It just depends on to what degree. How you let that affect your life and the lives of others in your life. Besides being a term that M has used, it is also a term that a few GG SO's use. I am not trying to say this disrespectfully, so I hope it isn't coming out that way, I am just trying to clarify.
As far as ideas being far fetched, (and I will do my best to keep this clean moderators) 8 months ago when M showed me a video of a sissy maid being pegged, I was shocked and horrified, to be honest, but now, I'm not at all. I just needed time to wrap my head around it all, and realize it is something the person I love has an interest in, and therefore, in trying to be supportive and open-minded and loving, I have looked into these things, and others, further, to make myself more comfortable with the fetish side of this that Monnica has, which I know not all of you do, and of course that is okay, but it should also be okay that she does.
I hope I managed to clarify any points made out there, and again, I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read and respond to me. I am trying, too. It's all any of us can do.
I had never been asked before what I wanted out of any relationship, so it does indicate a great deal of respect and love that she would even bother to ask me and care to know the answer.
-g