Am I out of mind?

[Helen_Highwater]

Emily,

Welcome to the forum. You'll get loads of advice here, some you'll welcome, some less so. That said all of it will have your best interests at heart. I think it's fair to say that anything you've considered, someone here has been there before you so the best piece of advice I can give is heed any warnings offered.

I do want people to see my ****ty dressing and enjoy imagining that they would think I’m a prostitute and what they would do to me What they may do is kick the living daylights out of you or worse. Somewhere quiet and dark that you can walk in is also somewhere a group might go to do drugs etc. Most here will admit that they're first ventures out were usually at night and I'm guilty as charged. What I've learned along my CD'ing journey is I'm far far safer walking around a mall in broad daylight than anywhere else in the dark.

Darkness is viewed as a cloak that we can hide under. Crooks and nerdowells see it in exactly the same way.

As others have said finding a group to attend is by far your best option. I've attended a group that meets in the Gay village in Manchester (UK). There are CD'ers in all the pubs who are in heels and short, tight dresses. All glam'd up, jez some of them have such great legs, but no-one cares. They're free to chat, strut their stuff, all in perfect safety there being at least 2 big bruisers on each door to keep undesirables out.

I can appreciate just what a huge step going from alone in the dark to mixing in a busy bar is. However, once you take that step you'll never look back.

Do your homework. Check out where you want to go. What's the parking like, stuff like that. For your first few times, stay stone cold sober. Until you're familiar with what goes on and know a few faces, staying sober ensures you make the right choices. Being chatted up can be flattering, responding so that the guy thinks you're "looking for love" but then chickening out at the time of intimacy is also something to be avoided. So if you want to explore that side of your character, be clear to the other person you're position and that you're uncertain of your sexuality.

The most important thing here is staying safe. You have years ahead of you to find your way. Don't rush into it and make mistakes you'll regret for the rest of your life.

[Emily27]

Thanks everybody for your advice! I’m here because I’m still questioning myself whether it’s safe or worth doing that. The place I picked is in a relatively safe neighborhood. It’s a parking lot without lights, and its normally empty even in daytime. What I did was, I parked my car in a corner and walked towards the street. I usually come back before really walking in the streets, so the whole walk takes less than 2-3 mind. Walking makes me thrilled and the cars passing by give a lot of excitement. I can be seen by cars for only 1 sec at most because of the darkness and their speed (if they can see me). However, I think you are right. Maybe it’s not worth doing that and I should find another outlet.

Thanks again everybody!!

[Tracii G]

In time you will get over the dressing ****ty and leave it behind you.
The sexual aspect may disappear as well to some degree as you mature.
The thing is you know your intentions and others do not and they may want a piece of you whether you want it or not.
Always be aware of what is going on around you to stay safe.

[Jaylyn]

I bet there are many here who started CD in similar manner to yours in here. I still like to revert back to that feeling but not as much since my old age has reached a maturity in CD. I used to play in moms heels though at a very young age, when I reached that sexual age of being quickly turned on with fantasies I payed more in S--ty things. After getting married lots of those feelings disappeared.
One thing though remember to play safe and not get hurt physically in what you are doing.