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Thread: Do I belong here?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Just got back to Illinois (from Burbank)

    Do I belong here?

    My body is male. When I joined here, I first posted in the TG section, because I identified as a girl, though I didn't have interest in transitioning, just crossdressing and makeup. So they told me to come here. But now I seem to be growing boobs, so does that mean I'm transitioning and am now a TG or TS or something?

    I'm worried about how I can keep things under wraps. To complicate matters, I'd really like to have another LTR with a GG. I'm pessimistic about the chances of that if I have boobs. Furthermore, although I'd like to get a permanent makeover, I think my nose is too big and I wouldn't be comfortable, especially around my family and potential GFs.

    Since coming to this CD part of the forum, I've identified as CD, but now my identity seems to be less certain. ... (Pause) Well, after thinking about it now, I guess I still belong here, because I think I remember now the TS people saying their section is only for those who intend to transition all the way, not just boobs.

    Do folks here want to share your views on the advantages and disadvantages of staying in the closet as a CD, especially if said CD wants to get a GF? Or share other related experiences?
    Last edited by Pat; 03-25-2018 at 08:46 AM. Reason: removed references to herbals. Please read the rules for posting.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Sami Brown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Dodge City, Kansas, US
    In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being out only to certain people. I think that if you are starting a new relationship, and you want it to be based on honesty, you have to bring it up at some point.

    As far as whether you should be on the CD or TS forum, the first question I would ask you is whether you feel you can be happy expressing your feminity while still inhabiting a male body. I am not TS, so I can't speak from their perspective. My understanding is that for the TS, the thought of being male is so contrary to how they feel that they can't fully live without transitioning. It is the only hope for happiness. If you don't feel that strongly about it, you are probably not TS.

    For those of you who have a better understanding of TS, please feel free to correct me.

    My new blog: The Crossdresser Report

  3. #3
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    SW England
    the TS spectrum is broad, including members who have neither surgery nor hrt. so if you identify as a female, then i believe you do fit there also.
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Like Pamela wrote, you can fit into more than one category. While I feel like I'm supposed to be female, that doesn't make me TS; I know where that feeling comes from, and it's not the determining factor in who and what I am, as most of my thinking does not follow the same paths as is found in women (easy reading about the differences in male and female thinking can be found in Barbara and Alan Pease' books, for example

    If you want more information on how I came to the conclusion that I am 'sort of' TG, but not necessarily TS, the information is in my bio, the link to which is in my signature at the bottom of this post.
    Last edited by Pat; 03-25-2018 at 08:48 AM. Reason: Removed references to herbals. See "Rights of Content" in the rules, please.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK

    Welcome, you'll receive much sound advice here.

    It is possible to have male breat growth(Gynecomastia) can be caused by a number of things. It is worth doing your research on the internet as, and I don't want to scare you here, one possible cause is cancer.

    I have some breast growth and a few years ago when my GP noticed it during a routine consultation. He decided to send me for an ultra scan to rule out cancer. Fortunately it came back all clear. At the time it was quite funny as I was in the same out patients clinic as the pregnant women.
    Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 03-25-2018 at 11:43 AM. Reason: Removed reference to herbals.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    I agree largely with what sometimes_miss said as well as the others. The gender spectrum is not naturally divided into various types - it is a continuum. And interpretation is mostly based on your point of view and your perception. If you view the entire spectrum, depending on what you are emphasizing, I think most or even all of us can be fitted into several places and we match to various degrees. I suggest you pretty much ignore the labels and enjoy being who you are as well as recognizing that it will change over time.

    I don't know what your age is, but as we get older, whether male or female, hormone levels change. They change for a reason because these very potent molecules can have damaging effects on a physiology that is becoming more delicate with age. It is generally called aging. Boob growth in men is common as is the development of some facial hair in women. The considerable difference between men and women when younger becomes more muddled with age and with some it can actually converge and cross over when comparing two individuals.

    I recommend you discuss this subject with your doctor and if you are not of that age then at least you will know what to expect. It could be gynecomastica as Helen mentioned. Plus if you are putting on weight especially around the waist where men expand with age it could simply be an effect of some fat buildup in your breasts. I have growing boobs and am almost 73 and if I want to show small boobs I can just put on a bra with a smallish B cup or a largish A cup (try and find an A cup in 42 or 44 band length - it is so rare apparently they don't make them). But it is not anything strange. My testosterone level is low for a 50 year old, but normal for a 70 year old. Don't mess with it as too much testosterone can kill you and estrogen needs to be carefully administered under a doctor's supervision. It can be dangerous, too. Maybe the herbs and spices have an effect; maybe not. It is really hard to tell.

    I suggest you just enjoy the ride and let it take you where it wishes.

  7. #7
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Boston Area
    [Moderator's Note] References to ANY herbal medications are forbidden in the rules, as is discussion of non-surgical breast enhancement. Please keep the discussion in bounds.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  8. #8
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    They are Pat.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  9. #9
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    San Francisco Peninsula
    Hi Lela,
    Here is my 2 cents: Coming out as a CD simplifies everything about finding a GF with whom you can have a LTR and be who you are. And, equally true- most GGs are not looking for a relationship with a CD and do not want it.

    Having natural boobs will not be an issue with any one who loves you, whether you are in the closet or not, CD or not. Obsessing over boobs is like any other obsession- it interferes with relationships! Millions of women wish they had bigger or smaller breasts, but most let it be a nagging minor issue that they realize has no solution.
    We are all beautiful...!

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    If you "seem to be growing boobs", the first thing you should do is see your doctor and find out why. Most males do not grow boobs. It's not normal.

    As for belonging here, if you are a male and wear clothes designed and sold for women, you are by definition, a "crossdresser". This site is "" so I would think this is a place you can be if you're comfortable with the rules and the threads. Remember, you don't have to visit every day and if you decide there's nothing here for you, you can just stop logging in and do something else with your time.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Jaymees22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    somewhere over the rainbow in NJ
    It might be wise to see a doctor as others have said. I have small man boobs they seemed to have developed as I got older and had put on some weight. When I managed to lose the weight the boobs stayed lucky me. I don't think anyone notices them but me.

    My nose is on the large size too. Are you talking about a make-up make over or plastic surgery? I read an article in last weeks "New Yorker" magazine about a surgical feminization surgery, scary and scary expensive.

    It's hard enough to find a GF let alone one that would be okay with this, but I'm afraid that's what you will need to find. Good luck she's out there somewhere.
    I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!

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