Last night I dreamed that I had permission (from someone, don't know who) to keep all of my girl clothes in my closet, out in plain sight. I was so happy hanging up my dresses and clothes.
Then caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. For some reason I looked like Marsha Brady. At any rate, I was really happy with what I saw. Then I put my head up against the mirror and pleaded, "Please God, make me a girl!", and started to cry and sob heavily because I wanted it so badly. Then I woke up and had both a happy and sad feeling in my heart.
Just wanted to share with someone, as telling my wife would cause her unnecessary worry. I don't ever want to transition, but sometimes the girl in me still feels like she doesn't have a chance to get out enough. The irony of my statement is that I'm an atheist and don't even believe in God. But clearly some part of me yearns for a higher power that could, if it did exist, transform me in that way.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Camille