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Thread: C'mon! What's the worst that could happen!?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    I have been surprised by the snuggles. For the most part, I can go where I want and people either don't notice or they are polite enough to not stare.

    My worst experience came from my group therapist. We agreed that I could come as Christina if I told the group ahead of time and they were all cool with it, which kind of irked me. If I were some weird ethnicity and wanted to come in my native clothes, she wouldn't have made such a requirement.

    So, when another counselor ran the group, I came out. Everyone was fine. The next time, I came in the door, my therapist looked at me and sternly said she wanted to talk to me in her office. The other members were standing in the waiting room not twenty feet away, waiting.

    She chewed me out with the door open, saying that I didn't get her permission and how it was going to take weeks to prepare the group and on and on. I was extremely embarrassed as everyone could hear. I offered to change in the parking lot and she told me to do so.

    So, I had to walk out in front of the group, who were embarrassed for me. I changed in a busy parking lot and took off my makeup. I was on the verge of tears. I didn't want to go back in, but did.

    The group members felt bad for me and defended me during the session. The incident was extremely detrimental to my self esteem and feeling of being accepted. We talked later and cleared the air. She had never dealt with a transgender. I left the group after 3 more sessions. I just couldn't get over the vicious anger she displayed. She said she had no issues with me, but I didn't believe her.

  2. #27
    Reality Check
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    Let's remember that the worst thing that has happened to anyone responding to this thread may not be the worst thing that has happened to anyone. Someone above mentioned that dead people cannot speak and that's true. People have been attacked and even killed for being a crossdresser at the wrong time and place. The worst places are around bars late at night. Walking down a busy street in the daytime is probably pretty safe. Walking through a shopping mall is safe but the parking lot at night may not be.

    Personally, the worst thing that ever happened to me was when I was walking down the sidewalk and a group of women came around the corner and one caught me off guard when she spoke to me. I managed to mumble a reply but I wasn't ready for that. It was some time ago.
    Krisi

  3. #28
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I haven't been out dressed in vanilla land very much. Last year as I was walking into a hotel someone in the parking lot yelled "Hey baby". Once at a gay bar (out of the blue) a gay guy took off his belt and started flinging it at me. That's about it for me.

    As for TG murders there were many last year (and previous years) in the United States according to this from wikipedia, and many more in other countries. I'd surmise that it pays to avoid altercations by keeping thy mouth shut.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o...sgender_people
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  4. #29
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    I have no bad experiences to relate but after reading all of the replies to Sherry I am struck by the stupidity and inanity of much of the trivial harassment meted out by others to members of this community.

    That said, there are some dangerous people around and the stories of the stalkers following some members does give one pause.

  5. #30
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    My interactions with people have been limited to Halloween. On the Halloweens on which I intended to interact with people A woman attending a Winchell's Doughnut store complimented me on my attire and presentation. Yeah! A plus. I have to agree I was a lot younger than now and had better skin to work with. Another Halloween I went into a Safeway to buy some Coke. The cashier said nothing, but, a young male laughed his head off. Before I realized I should take my evening strolls outside my immediate neighborhood I heard a neighbor, who I never interacted with, told someone she was standing next to on her porch that she had "called the cops" the last time she had seen me walk by. That gave me a clue she knew where I lived and all that. No police officer responded which is should be the norm since wearing women's clothing in public is not a crime in Washington State. But, that did clue me in that I was not passable (6 foot/200 lbs). So my evening strolls are taken in a different residential neighborhood.

    I've never had the desire to freely mix with people. Whatever needs I have to emulate a woman seem to be satisfied at hone. Wearing women's clothing brings some degree of peace and serenity. That would be lost if people stared at me or made obscene comments or gestures. I have to wonder sometimes about the comments received from other oppressed minorities. You'd think people who face discrimination would be supportive of others expressing themselves.

  6. #31
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I forgot about the time my car was towed and the police gave me a ride home. Fully dressed

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    I hope that posts here don't prevent people from going out if they want to. I have been out, fully dressed, in just about any environment you can think of. I have found that most of the time I can feel absolutely comfortable in a crowd. I'm 6' 1" and 220lbs. People still seem oblivious, SAs have been polite for the most part and I would say the women have been more friendly than when I'm dressed normally.

    Yes, we have to be careful, just like any woman. A trans woman was shot and killed locally last year, but it was 2am and in a bad area.

    So, I highly recommend getting out there in the world if you want to. It gets easier with time. Now I go out with confidence knowing that I will most likely be treated like any other woman. Yes, I live in California, but it's a very conservative part.

  8. #33
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Got pulled over by a cop at night my first time out. Also the next day, first day out, had a man ask me for a jump start, as i was parked next to him. He told his kids to not look.

  9. #34
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I guess some folk's "worst" is pretty mild. Which is why I didn't mention the time a strange woman saw me looking at women's shoes in a Goodwill and started throw shoes at my feet saying, "These would look good on u. Or, these!" I was in drab.

    Or, another time after a T event in Vegas, I didn't notice the guy tailing me out of a casino at 2 AM. Until I got to the far end of the parking building with no one around! He was about 6' 2", 200 pounds and about 30+. I'm 5' 9", 150, and ancient!
    He wanted a BJ. Even tho he was none threatening, he scared the crap out of me! Now, I never leave anywhere dressed without looking behind me!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jean 103 View Post
    Ok Sherry,
    First we have met, I have no problem with how you are.
    Are you saying you want the general public to accept you, seeing you as the same as anyone else, so to speak?
    --------------------------------------------------
    Heck no! I'm thrilled when other dressers see me as one of their own!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #35
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Sherry,

    I'm aware of the need not to criticise others under the rules that govern our conduct here so please accept that this is an observation not me being disparaging of your choice in how you present.

    From what you've written in many posts I'm making the assumption, please correct me if I'm wrong, that at the time of the circumstances you describe above you were wearing your breast plate. Now from the outset let me say I in no way condone such behavior but this side of the pond I grew up with the phrase, "Don't put it in the shop window if you don't want to sell it". Utterly sexist, totally unjustifiable. You and any GG should be able to wear what they like (hey and us) without some moron jumping to conclusions as to your "availability". As it stands this however isn't the current status in the world.

    I totally support your choice to present as you do. At fault are the knuckle draggers who see more than what's there. The guy who wanted a BJ read the situation incorrectly. This is something we have to learn to deal with. We have to think as unfortunately GG's do. Until society changes, and hopefully it is, as the guidelines for this site say, we need to be utterly aware of our surroundings and that means sometimes altering what we do. It's not right, it should be totally unacceptable to modify our behaviour to placate the idiots but we have to face reality. Hopefully though I think things are changing.

    In order to bring about that change those here who go out need to do so with an awareness of societies boundaries and just how far and it what way they can be pushed. Perhaps it all comes back to baby steps and the need for each of us to be self aware. Pushing the envelope carries with it an element of risk so sometimes, no pain no gain. Make of it what you will.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  11. #36
    Platinum Member
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    nothing terrible has ever happened when I went out dressed. The worst thing was the destruction of a relationship driven by what I can reasonably describe as self-absorbed and compulsive behavior. That is a lot worse than the whispering I never heard.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #37
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    I don't get out that much, dressed or otherwise. About the worst has been some under the breath comments from the male members of 2 couples and sirs from gas station attendants. I am the shy type normally, but won't back down if someone is hostile and in my face, but this has yet to happen and I do as little as I can to encourage it. I do take precautions if push comes to shove.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  13. #38
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    I have been out about 25 times in 5 cities on 2 continents and clearly I have been very lucky so far, at a push i would say a guy trying to kiss me in a bar in San Francisco would be it. He was drunk and a bit pushy, I had to be quite firm with my no..
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  14. #39
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    Stay away from places likely to be over run by drunkards or young males and all should be fine.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  15. #40
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    .............it would be interesting and cautionary for u to post the WORST THING that ever happened to u out dressed............

    As far as bad reaction from a person, as you all know by now, Carla is a little (big) breast obsessed. Early on I would just enjoy the feeling of being well endowed while out and about.
    One time in a large chain grocery store, an employee thought I was stealing merchandise and grabbed me by the arm and started reaching under my shirt. In the struggle, I yelled,
    "I'm just a crossdresser you ___________!" He let go and I left the store. I returned non-brassiered and walked into the manager's office and had a chat about employees physically abusing customers.
    Never saw that guy in the store again.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

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