I want it. No I don't.

[Jenny22]

Little Leg, there's a very bright light for you and M at the end of the shared tunnel. Disorders and negatives aside, he should cherish you to the max.

[Becky Blue]

Gina, what you did for Monnica was one of the nicest things any of us 'T' people could ever wish for from their partners. I think given Monnica was having a bad day with her depression possibly you did an amazing thing on the wrong day! I don't agree with others above that you scared her as by emailing you her fantasy she did hope it would become a reality.

[Sallee]

I guess you both found out that a fantasy is just that and reality can be totaly different. We all have them and when ever I have tried to act mine out it wasn't what I expected. It may have been fun but there was some mental anguish during and after. At least it got the fantasy out of my system and I don't need to go there any more
Best of luck to both of you

[phili]

Little, you were sweet and did the right thing- the result was not predictable, and IMO is really a flare of emotion that just means try a different approach.

when we are in deficit, really starving for something, we tend to imagine all we want is that thing. Then when we get our wish and all we have is that thing- it turns out not to be all that we want.

My two cents is to realize how much there is to know, and use good negotiation skills. First thing is to just see what there is agreement on- ask him if it was a good feeling to trust you with the fantasy? [ separate from how it was to jump ahead and do it] Tell him how you felt when you received the email. Your straightforward desire to help, blind to the possible complications, etc.

Just talking about things is quite difficult, and this may take some time in terms of sharing the buried things. But once the internal landscape becomes clearer and safer, you can move forward together!

[Littleg2]

Thank you all so much for your messages and show of support.

I do think it was because of M's depression, absolutely, 100%. I read the moment wrong, and it backfired. I don't think there will be any negative consequences to this moving forward, it will only give us something else to be cognizant of and get to know the other better.

We have talked about it, a few times since, and she assures me, she got overwhelmed because she just didn't "get it". Get what I was trying to do for her. When M came home from work, it's fair to say HE was still very much in masc mode, and wasn't even thinking in this was (as Moniica might), so he thought I was just doing all this to mess with HIM and be a pain in the ass (I have an odd sense of humor at the nest of times).

I am so glad we could talk about it, and all things, as we do. It will only make things better and better.

Thank you all again and I hope you have/are having a wonderful weekend.

-g <3