Teresa,
I absolutely enjoy and integrate much what you share about your experience. And trust me, I do understand completely; and just from reading this board over the last couple years I've learned how difficult CD is on existing long term marriages/relationships. It seems so silly that it should be so devastating to other people. It's not like we're making THEM dress up. Loved ones seem to take it so personally. I try to tell everyone "Please don't. Please don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you."
My wife is and has always been my best friend in life. You only get maybe one or a few of such people during our term on Earth. People have never been disposable to me. [We can always buy a new jet but we can't buy a new pilot.] I don't want something to happen like happened between you and your wife. I know, you had no other choice. It took a lot of courage.
I think I can make this "CD life" and possible transition work. [I rate transition but at this point in my life, is it worth the personal price to make the extreme physical changes, etc.]
Thanks for sharing. Much of what you've said is spot on, especially about why CDing is rejected.
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Teresa,
You've once again hit upon something, and that is "shaking off the male straightjacket...."
Wow.
For most of my twisted inner life, I wrestled with the identity and orientation issues. I was socially conditioned, often forcefully, to be a typical American male of my times; the 50s, 60s, etc. Ilene was denied. Ilene was hated. Ilene was told to go away and she never would; not to this day. Life was spent in denial.
I find my own social conditioning as a Male to be difficult to overcome. A good example is how I reflexively hold the door open for a(nother) woman as a gentleman would. It's not all bad. The Guy I was in my past life was still a pretty good guy.
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Thank you, Heidi.
You life, your transition has been an inspiration to me. It speaks to the possibilities.
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Sarah,
Love you with all my heart. You are one of my board stars, and to have you reach out is so kind.
Yes, wives don't sign up for this. She's known me as an ENTIRELY different man for 4 decades. I understand.
I sense you're hinting at what many have written to me. Slow down. It takes time for those who did not sign up for it to grow accustomed to it.
And please, Sarah. Maybe your own marriage relationship is something you have mastered as well as your style. If you have recommendations for how to successfully integrate my new life with my old life, I am listening.
Thanks.
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Gretchen,
You are such a dear, and I regret not keeping in better touch with you.
You would be one of those erudite, intelligent sound voices of wisdom.
I'll have time this summer. Let me PM you later and we can try to get together for another lunch.
Thanks.
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Auntie,
Listen.... that lad is an internet genius. He could probably hack into a North Korean reactor.
The FB thing hit home big time, and I am re-thinking my entire FB presence. That being said, what he told me was that it wasn't just the FB thing that led to uncovering me.
First, he saw me personally change in appearance and behavior up close and personal. So he thought something weird was going on.
He said he was clued by advertisements that would pop up on my normal "real life" (not Ilene) FB page for places like Long Tall Sally. Somehow he was able to follow the algorithm links to my other FB site for Ilene (that I took great care to secure and sequester).
He told me that I'd actually done a good job of creating my Ilene FB page and being able to keep it separate and distinct from my other page. BUT.... you are correct. We all know this. If you put it on the internet in almost any way, it really isn't THAT secure.
Thanks for writing and commenting. You are always a wise one.
