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Thread: Straight guy but...

  1. #1
    New Member jeanniegirl's Avatar
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    Straight guy but...

    Hello girls, I am a straight guy who is married but when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men. Anybody ever had this happen?

    Hugs,
    jeanniegirl

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Absolutely! And I still insist I’m not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I am. Oh, well, c’est la vie
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

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    Edit: Made mistake.
    Last edited by Queen Bridget; 04-08-2018 at 06:36 PM.

  4. #4
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    Sort of?
    I'm the same however I'm dressed, sort of not sure!

    Nothing wrong with being attracted to the right person for yourself!
    Stacy!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

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    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
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  5. #5
    Junior Member Kelly Whelan's Avatar
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    I think it stands to reason that your sexuality might be influenced while in female mode. If you7 are comfortable doing typically female things when dressed, then that may include the uirge to express a different sexuality. As a guy, I don't find men attractive and I wouldn't be comfortable in any sort of intimate company with men. When in female mode, I am comfortable with the idea of intimacy with men and I would prefer that to anything sexual with women. For me, this is a somewhat moot since I am married and off the market in any case.
    I'm just an ordinary guy who puts his fishnets on one leg at a time like everyone else.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    For some it is perfectly normal; for others it can scare the c--p out of you.

    I experience that to a small degree, but I know others who have never thought that. I have never acted on it as I am also married (49 years). Keep in mind that sexual attraction/orientation and gender identity are almost independent characteristics. It all comes from your brain, but each comes from very different parts of the brain that often don't speak to each other. Thus, you can come up with a multitude of combinations, all of which are perfectly consistent with the way your brain is wired.

    Attraction is personal and when married it is usually best to keep it a purely personal and private thing. But if it leads to action and your mate doesn't know there can be a huge storm brewing. Don't let it stress you as that can feed energy into the thinking and possibly lead to you doing something that you may not really want to do. When it appears, if it makes you uncomfortable, divert your attention to something else - that is, ignore the feelings of attraction and concentrate on something very different. It will go away by bits and pieces if you concentrate on something else. But if you feed it energy it could lead to actions that you may not want to do. Keep the feelings of attraction in the context of your life situation. The feeling is real; what it means is subject to interpretation and whether it leads to action needs to be a very rational kind of thinking.

  7. #7
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Exactly what Kelly Whelan said!

    Except that I am no longer married, and have learned that intimacy with a man, while being Jodie, is very pleasing.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

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  8. #8
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Sexual preference and gender identity jeanniegirl are two totally different things but what you are feeling is quite common apparently.
    Personally I don't get how that works you are straight one minute but when you put a dress on it all changes. It just doesn't make sense to me you are attracted to men or you aren't.
    I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
    I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.
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  9. #9
    New Member jeanniegirl's Avatar
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    Thanks Traci I really appreciate that. Glad to know it is quite common especially if you find someone attractive.



    Thanks Jodie I feel like it would be very pleasing to me as well. Oh well, maybe someday I will find out for sure.



    Hi Kelly, I think I would prefer it as well but I am married too.



    Hi LaurenS Thanks Absolutely me too!

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It happened when I was young and single, I needed a partner to go out with the other girls.

    It was more of a platonic relationship though.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    As an experiment I put on a pair of Levi's and a t-shirt to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I then watched an episode wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and a woman's Apt 9 t-shirt. In both instances I found the women to be appealing and felt no attraction to the men.

    Taking it one step further, I got fully dressed (pantyhose, bra, forms, skirt and blouse) but the results were the same. Maybe I am just wired differently.

  12. #12
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting that Tracy clothes do not change the person wearing them.
    Hence my fantasy theory.
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  13. #13
    Member Dena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
    I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.
    I also agree with Tracii, I don't find men attractive, but I do fantasize about guys. So I would recommend identifying what is fantasy from what you might act on.

    I did have a guy flirt with me one Halloween when I was dressed. While I wasn't attracted to him, he made me feel feminine, which I enjoyed immensely!

  14. #14
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I'm not saying what you all are feeling isn't real because it is.
    All I'm saying if you are bi or gay you know it, now if you can admit it that is something else entirely.
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    I believe that wardrobe does and can affect (or bring about) emotions and perceptions. It can be wonderful and quite amazing. The very first time I dressed was like a whirlwind of sparkles and confetti in my mind and heart. If that makes sense . . . lol
    I love film, fitness, and fashion. Those are the keys to unlock my heart.

  16. #16
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Let's see:
    Dressed in drab, NOT attracted to men.
    Put on a dress, attracted to men!

    Fantasizing about being the woman with a man is one thing. But, change your clothes and suddenly be attracted to men and their-------ewwww!?

    Sorry, NOT buyin' it!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Not for me (though I have nothing against it) Drab, I am attracted to women, dressed, still attracted to women. Putting on a skirt doesn't change my feelings as far as relationships are concerned.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  18. #18
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    I will always be a Male Gender, Now I like Girls and Girls only.
    Maybe that is the reason for my dressing; Can't say for sure,
    but I still like Girls even when I am dressed.
    Rader

  19. #19
    Member Ariana225's Avatar
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    I think a lot of fantasy’s are ok and you may never act them out. I hear some on this forum want to be controlled, but if it actually happened it might not be all that fun. I say put your rational brain in use and you can decide who you are attracted to or not attracted to. I love women and find what they wear and how they look to be extremely attractive.

  20. #20
    Honesty Is Not A Sin Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Sexual preference and gender identity jeanniegirl are two totally different things but what you are feeling is quite common apparently.
    Personally I don't get how that works you are straight one minute but when you put a dress on it all changes. It just doesn't make sense to me you are attracted to men or you aren't.
    I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
    I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.
    I am with you on this Tracii. Sorry but because you dress it does not change your sexuality and I think many cross dressers use this as an excuse to show their true sexuality and their attraction to men.

    sorry but I just don't buy it.
    Don't Take Life To Serious, It's Only Temporary

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    It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

  21. #21
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Vicky exactly.
    Too scared to admit it to themselves.
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  22. #22
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    Yes, often. I'm Bi curious in my old age. Under the RIGHT circumstances, I believe I could be a man's lady friend.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    I am with you on this Tracii. Sorry but because you dress it does not change your sexuality and I think many cross dressers use this as an excuse to show their true sexuality and their attraction to men.
    &
    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Vicky exactly.
    Too scared to admit it to themselves.
    All because we're raised into homophobia, where being feminine and/or gay is such a horrible thing. Since we're self aware, boys are told endlessly that being feminine in any way is the most horrible thing we can be, and we live with the almost constant reminders that our friends and families REALLY dislike homosexuality, sometimes to the point of killing off homosexuals. So it's no wonder that so many men would hide their gay feelings from not only the public, but to themselves as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanniegirl View Post
    Hello girls, I am a straight guy who is married but when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men.
    You have to break it down. The 'sort of' is vague.
    You have to figure out just what you're interested in. Do you like to look at naked men, & does that get you excited sexually? Do you want to have sex with a man? Do you like to be submissive sexually? Do you like to be penetrated? Have you had sex with another male?

    All this makes a difference.
    My life as an example.
    As a kid, I thought I was homosexual because I thought I was supposed to be a girl, as I was having sex with an older boy. But I was also a boy, or at least, started out as one.

    Yet, I never found boys attractive, didn't want to kiss one, couldn't stand the stink of us in the locker/shower rooms when changing for sports, and frankly thought the male form was repulsive. Yet, I craved oral and being penetrated, but the reality of it was completely disgusting. So why did I want that, and to dress and behave like a girl? Took years to figure out.
    Ended up simply being a case of associating being a girl and taking part in girl sexual behavior with the only affection I ever knew, that which occured when I was being molested. So whenever I was starved of affection, I wanted all the female experiences too. And it turned out that experiencing that for so many years during my developmental years, just might result in those feelings being permanent, as I never grew out of them.
    To this day, I feel like I was supposed to be a girl, despite all other evidence to the contrary. The feeling never goes away. I also desire to be penetrated sexually, even though that experience is not pleasurable at all, it's painful actually, and the smell and such are disgusting.
    The 'sniff test', sitting on the beach or boardwalk and seeing who I liked to look at, resulted in only looking at the girls. So I'm heterosexual, but with all these other mixed desires and feelings.
    I think that I'm a girl, and need the external visual, olfactory & tactile feedback which girls get to send back the signals which tell me (erroneously, of course) that I'm female. How do I know it's wrong? Because I don't think like a woman does. Not at all. And BOY, was that confusing.
    So see for yourself how you fit into it all. Make a list, and sort out what you think you like, what you actually DO like, etc..

    Then re-evaluate it all.

    Good luck. It took me decades to figure myself out. I hope you can do it a bit faster. Feel free to read my bio in the link in my sig for more clues about how to distinguish some homosexual, transsexual, and crossdressing thoughts and behaviors. Of course, mine are not the only types of experiences, so your mileage may vary.

  24. #24
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Not at all---I never found ANYTHING attractive (sexually) about men, and still don't---THAT is ONE reason I like dressing like a WOMAN! It took me a while to realize it though. When I did, it was one less thing to "worry about" (the Gay question) It was always in the back of my head. (was I in denial?) But when I finally got things straight in my mind at to definitions, etc. I did not question my sexuality any more--and CD became even MORE fun.

    Now I CAN tell you if a Man is Handsome or not, but that does not mean I am sexually attracted to him. Just as a Woman can admire another woman for her beauty and NOT be a Lesbian. A lot of this is educating yourself, as we are never taught much about sexuality in Schools, and even our parents and friends were similarly ignorant---mythologies run wild and confuse us. I saved myself a lot of grief and worry by studying Psychology on my own when I was younger---Indeed, I developed a great interest in it. The lack of job opportunities though caused me not to pursue the field in college.---I went on to the physical Sciences instead, but am still involved in the functional analysis aspects of Psychology on the side.

  25. #25
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    Never. I'm only attracted to women, regardless of how I'm dressed.

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