Straight guy but...

[jeanniegirl]

Hello girls, I am a straight guy who is married but when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men. Anybody ever had this happen?

Hugs,
jeanniegirl

[LaurenS]

Absolutely! And I still insist I’m not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I am. Oh, well, c’est la vie

[Queen Bridget]

Edit: Made mistake.

[phili]

I had gay one night stands in my twenties, and it is was every bit as fun as I imagined. (I am very lucky to be alive, as it was the beginning of the AIDs era. so I am spooked now about STDs.) As it happened I found women much more interesting and I wanted a family, and men just were not interesting at all except for fantasy sex. So I was technically bi, but mostly not, and anyway I was married and faithful.

But I have witnessed in myself a sudden change from feeling men were completely uninteresting sexually [and loudly and convincedly saying so], to finding them very interesting. I was stunned. It didn't happen from being dressed, it happened from letting myself feel as feminine as I wanted to feel. It is related to being dressed because that is my gateway, but clothes have become unnecessary now for me to slip into feminine mode.

Most surprising to me was I became a straight woman- I found women uninteresting. I wasn't bi any more.

.

I think this is probably normal experience for a bisexual, and I can see that if I like someone, their plumbing will be fine, whatever it is. My fantasy life is greatly enhanced, but it is moot- fantasy only. I am married and committed to a woman.

[Stacy Darling]

Sort of?
I'm the same however I'm dressed, sort of not sure!

Nothing wrong with being attracted to the right person for yourself!
Stacy!

[Kelly Whelan]

I think it stands to reason that your sexuality might be influenced while in female mode. If you7 are comfortable doing typically female things when dressed, then that may include the uirge to express a different sexuality. As a guy, I don't find men attractive and I wouldn't be comfortable in any sort of intimate company with men. When in female mode, I am comfortable with the idea of intimacy with men and I would prefer that to anything sexual with women. For me, this is a somewhat moot since I am married and off the market in any case.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Exactly what Kelly Whelan said!

Except that I am no longer married, and have learned that intimacy with a man, while being Jodie, is very pleasing.

[Tracii G]

Sexual preference and gender identity jeanniegirl are two totally different things but what you are feeling is quite common apparently.
Personally I don't get how that works you are straight one minute but when you put a dress on it all changes. It just doesn't make sense to me you are attracted to men or you aren't.
I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.

[jeanniegirl]

Thanks Traci I really appreciate that. Glad to know it is quite common especially if you find someone attractive.



Thanks Jodie I feel like it would be very pleasing to me as well. Oh well, maybe someday I will find out for sure.



Hi Kelly, I think I would prefer it as well but I am married too.



Hi LaurenS Thanks Absolutely me too!

[Dena]

I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.

I also agree with Tracii, I don't find men attractive, but I do fantasize about guys. So I would recommend identifying what is fantasy from what you might act on.

I did have a guy flirt with me one Halloween when I was dressed. While I wasn't attracted to him, he made me feel feminine, which I enjoyed immensely!

[Tracii G]

I'm not saying what you all are feeling isn't real because it is.
All I'm saying if you are bi or gay you know it, now if you can admit it that is something else entirely.

[Vicky_Scot]

Sexual preference and gender identity jeanniegirl are two totally different things but what you are feeling is quite common apparently.
Personally I don't get how that works you are straight one minute but when you put a dress on it all changes. It just doesn't make sense to me you are attracted to men or you aren't.
I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.

I am with you on this Tracii. Sorry but because you dress it does not change your sexuality and I think many cross dressers use this as an excuse to show their true sexuality and their attraction to men.

sorry but I just don't buy it.

[Tracii G]

Vicky exactly.
Too scared to admit it to themselves.

[Rayleen]

I love to dress, attracted to women and love their company...I feel like a woman when in their company.

Rayleen

[Babbs]

I think for some people they like to dress like a woman woman because it makes them feel more like a woman which is what they like. Take it a step further and they want to have sex like a woman so that means having it with a man. They probably take it further and only want the sexual position s the woman takes when they do this. All for the "feeling like a woman " experience. Just a guess on my part.

[sometimes_miss]

I think for some people they like to dress like a woman woman because it makes them feel more like a woman which is what they like. Take it a step further and they want to have sex like a woman so that means having it with a man.

Wouldn't that hypothesis kind of run into the ground, when it's widely known that some women only have sex with other women? So the 'step further' isn't needed to fulfill the first feeling at all.

[AmandaM]

I'm in gender therapy. Latest pinpoint is that I am transgender but probably not binary. I've been attracted to men when dressed. If you subscribe to the concept of two spirited people, you could say I am both a straight man and a straight woman at the same time. Need an aspirin?

[Tracii G]

I really have no clue if I am binary non binary and I really don't care or feel I need a label.
Transgender female non transitional and a gay male all rolled into one.Just a mutt I guess.

[Babbs]

Wouldn't that hypothesis kind of run into the ground, when it's widely known that some women only have sex with other women? So the 'step further' isn't needed to fulfill the first feeling at all.

Not necessarily, we know some women like women but the "norm"is a woman with a man. ( I know, who is a crossdresser to say what is the norm, lol)

[GretchenM]

For some it is perfectly normal; for others it can scare the c--p out of you.

I experience that to a small degree, but I know others who have never thought that. I have never acted on it as I am also married (49 years). Keep in mind that sexual attraction/orientation and gender identity are almost independent characteristics. It all comes from your brain, but each comes from very different parts of the brain that often don't speak to each other. Thus, you can come up with a multitude of combinations, all of which are perfectly consistent with the way your brain is wired.

Attraction is personal and when married it is usually best to keep it a purely personal and private thing. But if it leads to action and your mate doesn't know there can be a huge storm brewing. Don't let it stress you as that can feed energy into the thinking and possibly lead to you doing something that you may not really want to do. When it appears, if it makes you uncomfortable, divert your attention to something else - that is, ignore the feelings of attraction and concentrate on something very different. It will go away by bits and pieces if you concentrate on something else. But if you feed it energy it could lead to actions that you may not want to do. Keep the feelings of attraction in the context of your life situation. The feeling is real; what it means is subject to interpretation and whether it leads to action needs to be a very rational kind of thinking.

[Beverley Sims]

It happened when I was young and single, I needed a partner to go out with the other girls.

It was more of a platonic relationship though.

[Tracy Irving]

As an experiment I put on a pair of Levi's and a t-shirt to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I then watched an episode wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and a woman's Apt 9 t-shirt. In both instances I found the women to be appealing and felt no attraction to the men.

Taking it one step further, I got fully dressed (pantyhose, bra, forms, skirt and blouse) but the results were the same. Maybe I am just wired differently.

[Tracii G]

Thanks for posting that Tracy clothes do not change the person wearing them.
Hence my fantasy theory.

[candice.aihara]

I believe that wardrobe does and can affect (or bring about) emotions and perceptions. It can be wonderful and quite amazing. The very first time I dressed was like a whirlwind of sparkles and confetti in my mind and heart. If that makes sense . . . lol

[DIANEF]

Not for me (though I have nothing against it) Drab, I am attracted to women, dressed, still attracted to women. Putting on a skirt doesn't change my feelings as far as relationships are concerned.