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Thread: Looking for courage.

  1. #1
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    Looking for courage.

    Coming up in August is an event in Niagara Falls Canada called Fabulous at the Falls,a Gala for CD's .I live minutes from the falls and I hope to find the courage to get a ticket for the banquet and dance afterward.I only go out dressed at night for a drive.If I were to attend it would mean leaving home during daylight dressed ,something I've never done.Noone has seen me enfemme so that would be a first.One of the people offering makeup services is Leanne from Lesada in London Ontario someone I've been talking to hoping to arrange a makeover,this sounds like the perfect opportunity yet I'm hesitating.I'm going to try going out during the day dressed I hear the more you do it the easier it becomes.It took a few outings driving at night dressed before I felt comfortable and I hope I can find the same feeling during my daytime outings.I like the way I look dressed ,I think I look like my mom and sister so the way I present is not the problem I just have to find the courage.I've only got a couple of months to get my act togeather so I better get to it.
    Everything you always wanted is on the other side of fear.George Addair.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    If you are worried about leaving home dressed you can always dress somewhere along the way.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    You can also get a hotel room, even if it's only used to change in.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  4. #4
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    You will most likely feel a lot more comfortable when you are around others. I have not been to that event but I have been to others and have had a great time in spite of beging very nervous the first time.
    Like Tracy and Steffi said, if you can, get a hotel room, preferably at the hotel the event is held at. Then you have a base and you will feel like you belong.
    An event like that is the best way to be out among others and yet be in a safe environment. Don't overthink it, just do it!

    - Suzie

  5. #5
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    Seems like everyone who has been to such events really likes them and feels so relieved and at ease.

    Worst case: walk in in drab as it is getting going, see that everything is ok, go back out and change, or home if you are close!

    But I assume as in Sacramento, there is a mailing list ahead of their events so people can share hotel rooms for changing, etc. So contact the organizers and someone will help. Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to make travel plans for the next one.
    We are all beautiful...!

  6. #6
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Karen,

    During the early days of me going out I decided to attend a social group meeting. It was only a small group, 20 or so people in a hotel function room. I can remember feeling oh so nervous walking into the hotel entrance (enfemme) heels clicking on the marble floor. Entering the room I felt so self conscious, a fish out of water. Ten minutes later I was chatting away like I'd known these folks all my life.

    As others have said, check out if changing facilities are offered. If you decide to go from home dressed are you ok with being seen by any neighbours?

    Whichever option you chose the one decision you must make is to go. This is such a golden opportunity if you miss it you will be kicking yourself evermore.

    This event will change your life and for the better. Go, go, go.

  7. #7
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    I hope you get the courage your looking for. If you don't you'll regret it, that is what happens (at lease to me I should say). The sooner you take that step the sooner you find out the how much fun these events can be. Go GO GO check it out

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    For practice get out now and walk the streets during daylight or early evening hours.

    By walking the street I mean window shopping for a start.

    It would be no good going cold turkey to the event, you might be disappointed.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    It definitely gets easier the more you do it. It’s not an option for everyone but having someone to go out with helps a lot also.

  10. #10
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    One of the challenges I faced getting out was being in a hotel room, dressed and pretty as I could get, but unable to leave the room. It took several trips before I could manage it and I was only successful once I had made contact with others. Contact the organizer and see if they have a "Big Sister" program you could use. That gives you a chance to meet someone and get the kind of support and confidence you need to get out the door. Once you are with 5 or 10 or 50 others, it becomes as natural an experience as you have ever had.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  11. #11
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    Karen,
    If you've had an offer like that from a friend certainly find the courage to take them upon it , you may not get the offer again and time is running out you will only live to regret not finding the courage , besides there is always another year to look forward to once you've broken the ice !

  12. #12
    Member SHINY-J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somestimeskaren View Post
    Coming up in August is an event in Niagara Falls Canada called Fabulous at the Falls,a Gala for CD's .I live minutes from the falls and I hope to find the courage to get a ticket for the banquet and dance afterward.I only go out dressed at night for a drive.If I were to attend it would mean leaving home during daylight dressed ,something I've never done.Noone has seen me enfemme so that would be a first.One of the people offering makeup services is Leanne from Lesada in London Ontario someone I've been talking to hoping to arrange a makeover,this sounds like the perfect opportunity yet I'm hesitating.I'm going to try going out during the day dressed I hear the more you do it the easier it becomes.It took a few outings driving at night dressed before I felt comfortable and I hope I can find the same feeling during my daytime outings.I like the way I look dressed ,I think I look like my mom and sister so the way I present is not the problem I just have to find the courage.I've only got a couple of months to get my act togeather so I better get to it.
    I can understand why you’re hesitant as it would really be the first time you’ve ever gone out en femme... however, if there’s ever a time to do it, I’m not sure it gets much better than an exclusive event for crossdressers at a location that’s so close to you.

    As far as leaving home in the daylight,... well, we could know more about what your house/neighborhood situation is.. if you have an enclosed garage, then just dress at home, get in the car in the garage, open, the door, and then quickly back out, and drive off. You can leave your wig off, and I’m sure nobody would notice...

    However, if you live in a condo, apartment, etc... and that isn’t possible, you could always just underdress as much as possible and wear a big, baggy track suit over everything and keep the rest in an overnight bag. Then you could pull off somewhere secluded and private and get finished dressing. And you could do your makeup and hair in the car.

    Like you, I’ve never been to one of these, but I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only one there putting on makeup and wigs prior to the event.


    If you have the financial ability, the easiest and best thing would be to get a hotel or motel room... that way you have the easiest possible way to do things on your level and maintain your secret. Get there, check in, change , relax, have some drinks, get ready, have some more drinks, and then step out and have a good time.

    About the only way this could get easier is if you had another CD friend or group to go with.i also think that a laid-back event to meet up with others would be a out the most perfect opportunity because you don’t have the concerns about the friends and Emily in your life spotting you the way you might if you went out fully dressed to go shopping, clubbing, to dinner, etc... and I think youd have very little danger of being harrassed or teased by a judgemental public at an even like this.

    So, as much as you’re nervous, you might want to finally set aside your fears and let it fly... this seems like a great opportunity!
    Last edited by SHINY-J; 05-13-2018 at 03:56 PM.

  13. #13
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    My advice?

    Go all in.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Karen ( I'm not out but) it sounds like I would even mind doing something like this if the opportunity presented itself. From what you wrote I'm thinking take every ones suggestions and get a plan to attend I like idea of getting a room at the event. Then just blend into the group after dressing.

  15. #15
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    When I need courage, I just think of this thought...... One day I won't have the chance. So do it while you can. Time is always ticking.

  16. #16
    Silver Member daviolin's Avatar
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    I know the feeling well Karen. I remember an outing I had about 5 or so years ago. I wanted to do an out of state outing. I already was going out in my home state of Michigan. So I was pretty comfortable with myself in public. I met a few girls on one of my sites I would haunt. We set up a date. Then off I went to the Jersey shore for a new adventure. I got a room and got all dolled up and drove to the area we were suppose to meet. When I got there, oh my, it was a mob seen. You parked on the street and each space had a number on it. Then you had to walk over to this box and pay to park in that spot. I didn't know how the system worked so I would of had to ask someone. Anyway here I am in this strange new place, strangers everywhere. I just didn't feel comfortable getting out in the crowd all by my lonesome. I must of sat in my truck for a hour trying to figure out how am I going to handle this. Finally I bucked up and made the move. It was so easy, and I was totally relaxed. All the people were just as normal as if I was dressed in drab. Had one of the best evenings I can remember out and about. The girls I met were dolls. We had so much fun that night. So bottom line to this rant, is go for it girl. You only live once. Daviolin
    [SIZE="6"]
    [/SIZE]
    A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

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