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Thread: I'm building a CD cave!

  1. #1
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I'm building a CD cave!

    I been building a CD cave away from home and it's almost done!
    Two years ago I told my wife I would stop dressing, it's been a tuff two years, I feel bad that I'm going to start dressing again!
    It will involve lies which I don't want to do but two years ago when I told her I liked dressing she said she would leave me.
    I'm hopping I can enjoy my CD cave without guilt!
    It's a bummer she thinks it's so messed up, other than the dressing she thinks I'm a good husband and dad!
    Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 04-12-2018 at 08:10 PM.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    That must be tough.

    Where does she think you are going when you leave the house to dig a hole into a hill?

  3. #3
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    Good luck with your Fe-man cave. it would be easier than hiding everything every time though, with mirrors all around.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  4. #4
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Judy I find it sad these kind of things in our relationships. Being a crossdresser while diffent is certainly better then many
    other things men do. Lying to her will be difficult but for someone who just has no room for any compromise is very tough
    indeed.
    Wish you well

  5. #5
    New Member Toni in nz's Avatar
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    I hope you can light a fire in your cave for when your wife finds out you maybe sleeping in there too.
    Good luck.
    Last edited by Pat; 04-13-2018 at 07:10 PM. Reason: No need to quote the entire original post.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post
    I feel bad that I'm going to start dressing again!
    !
    Stop. Don't you dare feel bad for needing to express part of who you are. You are not responsible for that part of your nature.

    If you need to feel bad about something, feel bad about the deception you're engaging in, or about the risk it will present to your relationship. Those are things you can do something about. Maybe. Look, I am not saying that honesty now will pay off in the end, or that counseling will help. It might, but the odds are it won't. I am saying that you should face the fact that your TG nature isn't going away, and that it may end your relationship, and that the longer you continue with the deception the bigger the wreck will be. This forum is littered with the proof of that.

    It is a hard choice. I know that because I made it over twenty years ago. I got lucky, but I was ready to have it end there because I didn't want another relationship where I had to carry that secret. I am not even saying that you should come clean. Only you can come close to accurately gauging the risk. All I am saying is that you should not beat yourself up over something that is just a part of you, and that you should admit to yourself that it is, and that you should proceed from that place with eyes wide open.

    Hugs,


    Kelly

  7. #7
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    Post Cheaper then dressing at a motel

    I purchased a mini camper trailer to dress up in and I have a large storage facility.
    The mini camper trailer has a large makeup mirror, full Length mirrors,hot/coldwater,electricity,
    Bathroom,HVAC,standup room in high heels,soft natural lighting and neutral wall paint.

    Pods are $1600-$3500,mini trailers are $8000-$16000
    Last edited by Lindabrown; 04-12-2018 at 11:57 PM.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    That seems rather extreme. What exactly are you building ?
    Kelly DeWinter
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  9. #9
    Silver Member Sarah Louise's Avatar
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    Hi Judy,

    Perhaps unlike some others who have responded, I've followed your posts quite closely and i know it's been really hard for you having to deal with your wife's ultimatums. I think the view of most is she's been overly harsh with you.

    The way she is is understandable maybe, but there's a side of you that needs to be expressed to make you happy. It's just a shame that you have to resort to this because of her attitude to your dressing.

    Enjoy your CD cave, but still be careful you don't get found out by leaving traces of make-up on etc.

    Would love to hear more about what your planning and of course see more photos when you're done!

  10. #10
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    Hi Judy! I can definitely relate to having an unaccepting wife. However, I've been very fortunate over the last year or so with the positive changes in my wife's level of acceptance.

    I never ever thought I would have the opportunity to keep all of Scarlett's wardrobe, jewelry, footwear, and makeup inside our new home. I had a mini "The Talk" at our new dream home while still under construction about my cross dressing and being able to move Scarlett's wardrobe out of the temperature controlled storage unit into our new home based on the increased amount of closet space in our new home. When she approved the move of all of the clothing, shoes, makeup, etc., I was in shock and never thought her acceptance would go to that level. And know, I can dress as much as I'd like as long as I don't do it while she's at home. She prefers to see me as her handsome husband rather than a pretty running buddy of hers.

    Judy, it still sounds like there is still a bit of hope of getting a bit of acceptance from her one day. Especially since she still thinks you're a good husband and dad.

    Good luck in the future with a bit of eventual acceptance from your wife.

    Love ya Judy....XOXOXO Scarlett

  11. #11
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    Not sure why I am the first to ask about this but...

    I am most interested in the set-up of this CD cave. maybe you could elaborate on what it will look like finished or if it's in solid progress, maybe post a pic or two?
    I bet it will be nothing short of awesome. A space totally devoted to CD'ing. Will it store all your Cd attire as well like clothing, makeup etc?
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  12. #12
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Judy, its always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, so your own place to dress is a good idea.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #13
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    The topic is not gaining the wife's acceptance, it's about creating a place to satisfy the need to crossdress while keeping it away from an unaccepting wife who said she would leave. Judy, ignore those who say "I told my wife and she's OK with it so you should tell, too." You know your situation, they don't.
    Like Nicole Erin, I too am interested in your set-up plans. Fill us in?

  14. #14
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    sounds like a recipe for disaster, hiding and lying is not the answer. Good luck with that though.

  15. #15
    Somewhere in-between. Krea's Avatar
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    Judy,
    It sounds like an ambitious (but exciting) project to create your own CDing retreat. Would love to read more about what you are planning.
    I have followed your story with interest as your post about your wife discovering some of your things was one of the first posts i remember after joining this forum. You always look fantastic in your piccys (and also very happy) and it's a shame that your wife won't show a little tolerance of Judy, which has led to you wanting a hideaway. I hope that your CDing retreat turns out really well and that it can give you a little bit of quality Judy time. Good luck.
    I also hope that your wife doesn't find out about it, the consequences could be disastrous.
    Last edited by Krea; 04-13-2018 at 07:40 AM.
    "Welcome to my scene.
    A place that's in-between.
    Where the squares fit the rounds."
    (Lyrics by Queensryche)

  16. #16
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    I am happy for you! Congratulations! Please post a few pictures when you have time, we are all dying to see and hear about it. Have fun and be safe Yes I have read all the other comments, do what you need to do. Take care, Brenda

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Judy,
    I really hope the idea works, I know you have tried so hard to appease your wife.

    I know I've asked this before but have you considered finding a social group so at least you can dress and be with like minded people rather than putting yourself in a cave, I personally wouldn't call it that to me it would be like going back into solitary confinement .

    As for being messed up , I still wonder who has the worse problem with that , I do believe your wife is too much of a control freak and everyone lets her get away with it .
    The real me ,no going back.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    Judy, ignore those who say "I told my wife and she's OK with it so you should tell, too."
    Really? Who said that? I've reviewed the entire thread up until your post, and I can't find anyone who has offered such advice. And indeed, why would they? Judy has already told her wife. She also told her that she would stop.

    I have seen two or three posts referring to the likely outcome of continuing the deception, which is exactly what she's doing.

  19. #19
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    I hope that you have all bases covered Judy. Hiding such a thing from your wife may be your best idea at present, and I too would entertain that thought. BUT the dangers involved if your wife finds out could be the worse that you have ever come across.

    I say this because my wife is non-accepting, but I do have my Stacy room in our house. I can't explain it in detail because I don't understand, but my situation is sort of that I am not to be seen in dress but am not to hide what I do. Hiding IT from and lying to my wife would surely be a fate worse than death for my male!

    I just want to say " Be very careful " and do hope that this option does work!
    Stacy
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  20. #20
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I got no problem with the desire to dress or with the CD cave, my issue is with the lying and deception, be a man and own it, tell the wife what you're doing and stand firm. When she finds out the shit will surely hit the fan.

  21. #21
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    Well everyone else has weighed in on the rights and wrongs of this issue, so I shall keep "Mum" about that.

    Your post triggered a memory of a conversation with a friend who said he knew a cross dresser who had a storage unit that he had fitted out completely as a bedroom where he could go and dress. Another person this friend knew had an apartment that was his "girl" retreat.

    By the way we should not call it a cave. That triggers memories of "Man Cave". It should be a boudoir.

  22. #22
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I keep a locker in town with several other CD's. It works out well Can dress and hangout and there is a nice little bar associated with it that you can go to that is very accepting.
    It serves its purpose well. althoughI wish the land lord would stay up on the maintenance a little more
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by CONSUELO View Post
    Well everyone else has weighed in on the rights and wrongs of this issue, so I shall keep "Mum" about that.

    Your post triggered a memory of a conversation with a friend who said he knew a cross dresser who had a storage unit that he had fitted out completely as a bedroom where he could go and dress. Another person this friend knew had an apartment that was his "girl" retreat.

    By the way we should not call it a cave. That triggers memories of "Man Cave". It should be a boudoir.
    That's a good idea ,using the storage as a dressing bedroom but with cameras in the storage everyone will know what your doing.

    My storage has like four women who went to a cosmetology school for free as a result of the government shutting them down.

    There use to be 24 hour Locker rental around North Hollywood for crossdressers.

  24. #24
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Aunt Kelly, you are correct, nobody said that in this thread, or I would have quoted it. But I have see such advice by many members on many "to tell or not to tell" threads over the years. My point is that all of us should evaluate our own unique situations and make decisions accordingly, and ignore "what works for me will work for you" worthless advice.
    It looks to like Judy wants to keep the marriage together and satisfy the need to crossdress, and has come up with this plan, aware of the risks.

  25. #25
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    Sounds to me like you're playing with fire. Lies and deceptions are never a good thing. Hope your cave is in livable condition because once your lady finds out-and she will, eventually, you'll be spending a LOT time in it.
    Jon

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