I been building a CD cave away from home and it's almost done!
Two years ago I told my wife I would stop dressing, it's been a tuff two years, I feel bad that I'm going to start dressing again!
It will involve lies which I don't want to do but two years ago when I told her I liked dressing she said she would leave me.
I'm hopping I can enjoy my CD cave without guilt!
It's a bummer she thinks it's so messed up, other than the dressing she thinks I'm a good husband and dad!
Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 04-12-2018 at 08:10 PM.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
That must be tough.
Where does she think you are going when you leave the house to dig a hole into a hill?
Good luck with your Fe-man cave. it would be easier than hiding everything every time though, with mirrors all around.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/
Judy I find it sad these kind of things in our relationships. Being a crossdresser while diffent is certainly better then many
other things men do. Lying to her will be difficult but for someone who just has no room for any compromise is very tough
indeed.
Wish you well
It sucks that you have to do this but it obvious how often you are on the forums you need a space to dress and your wife isn't allowing that. Would love to to see the setup (or at least some more details). Is it just functional for now or have you decorated the space too?
I hope you can light a fire in your cave for when your wife finds out you maybe sleeping in there too.
Good luck.
Last edited by Pat; 04-13-2018 at 07:10 PM. Reason: No need to quote the entire original post.
You can sugarcoat it all you want and say it's only about a Crossdressing Man Cave but it is NOT, it's about lying and deceiving his wife, who he has promised (unwisely) to that he would not dress (don t make promises that you can't keep). Nothing good will come from being dishonest. Face the music now rather than later. Ladies and gentlemen, she will eventually find out and now you're caught in a massive lie.
Stop. Don't you dare feel bad for needing to express part of who you are. You are not responsible for that part of your nature.Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing
If you need to feel bad about something, feel bad about the deception you're engaging in, or about the risk it will present to your relationship. Those are things you can do something about. Maybe. Look, I am not saying that honesty now will pay off in the end, or that counseling will help. It might, but the odds are it won't. I am saying that you should face the fact that your TG nature isn't going away, and that it may end your relationship, and that the longer you continue with the deception the bigger the wreck will be. This forum is littered with the proof of that.
It is a hard choice. I know that because I made it over twenty years ago. I got lucky, but I was ready to have it end there because I didn't want another relationship where I had to carry that secret. I am not even saying that you should come clean. Only you can come close to accurately gauging the risk. All I am saying is that you should not beat yourself up over something that is just a part of you, and that you should admit to yourself that it is, and that you should proceed from that place with eyes wide open.
Hugs,
Kelly
Cheaper then dressing at a motel
I purchased a mini camper trailer to dress up in and I have a large storage facility.
The mini camper trailer has a large makeup mirror, full Length mirrors,hot/coldwater,electricity,
Bathroom,HVAC,standup room in high heels,soft natural lighting and neutral wall paint.
Pods are $1600-$3500,mini trailers are $8000-$16000
Last edited by Lindabrown; 04-12-2018 at 11:57 PM.
That seems rather extreme. What exactly are you building ?
Hi Judy,
Perhaps unlike some others who have responded, I've followed your posts quite closely and i know it's been really hard for you having to deal with your wife's ultimatums. I think the view of most is she's been overly harsh with you.
The way she is is understandable maybe, but there's a side of you that needs to be expressed to make you happy. It's just a shame that you have to resort to this because of her attitude to your dressing.
Enjoy your CD cave, but still be careful you don't get found out by leaving traces of make-up on etc.
Would love to hear more about what your planning and of course see more photos when you're done!
Relationships are built on trust not lies. The poster I believe is looking for validation for breaking a promise and being dishonest. As I said a recipe for disaster. She will find out, women are good at snooping.
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IMHO if you have to lie to your wife about important issues then maybe you shouldn't be married.
Hi Judy! I can definitely relate to having an unaccepting wife. However, I've been very fortunate over the last year or so with the positive changes in my wife's level of acceptance.
I never ever thought I would have the opportunity to keep all of Scarlett's wardrobe, jewelry, footwear, and makeup inside our new home. I had a mini "The Talk" at our new dream home while still under construction about my cross dressing and being able to move Scarlett's wardrobe out of the temperature controlled storage unit into our new home based on the increased amount of closet space in our new home. When she approved the move of all of the clothing, shoes, makeup, etc., I was in shock and never thought her acceptance would go to that level. And know, I can dress as much as I'd like as long as I don't do it while she's at home. She prefers to see me as her handsome husband rather than a pretty running buddy of hers.
Judy, it still sounds like there is still a bit of hope of getting a bit of acceptance from her one day. Especially since she still thinks you're a good husband and dad.
Good luck in the future with a bit of eventual acceptance from your wife.
Love ya Judy....XOXOXO Scarlett
Not sure why I am the first to ask about this but...
I am most interested in the set-up of this CD cave. maybe you could elaborate on what it will look like finished or if it's in solid progress, maybe post a pic or two?
I bet it will be nothing short of awesome. A space totally devoted to CD'ing. Will it store all your Cd attire as well like clothing, makeup etc?
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Judy, its always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, so your own place to dress is a good idea.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
The topic is not gaining the wife's acceptance, it's about creating a place to satisfy the need to crossdress while keeping it away from an unaccepting wife who said she would leave. Judy, ignore those who say "I told my wife and she's OK with it so you should tell, too." You know your situation, they don't.
Like Nicole Erin, I too am interested in your set-up plans. Fill us in?
Judy,
It sounds like an ambitious (but exciting) project to create your own CDing retreat. Would love to read more about what you are planning.
I have followed your story with interest as your post about your wife discovering some of your things was one of the first posts i remember after joining this forum. You always look fantastic in your piccys (and also very happy) and it's a shame that your wife won't show a little tolerance of Judy, which has led to you wanting a hideaway. I hope that your CDing retreat turns out really well and that it can give you a little bit of quality Judy time. Good luck.
I also hope that your wife doesn't find out about it, the consequences could be disastrous.
Last edited by Krea; 04-13-2018 at 07:40 AM.
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
Judy-Somthing quote, "people are saying I'm messed up!" I think that some of the biggest quirks in people make them the sanest. Whether a Cd'er is following their dream, hobby, desire, or whatever, it is usually helping them to cope, relax. or just be who they are. The problem is people need to get some insight into the real reason why people do what they do. You like to wear dresses, so what, put on a cowboy hat and boots and say you are playing Cowboys and Indians! lol
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Really? Who said that? I've reviewed the entire thread up until your post, and I can't find anyone who has offered such advice. And indeed, why would they? Judy has already told her wife. She also told her that she would stop.
I have seen two or three posts referring to the likely outcome of continuing the deception, which is exactly what she's doing.
There are plenty of other threads where the morality and risks of deception have been debated and y'all could start a specific one if you really wanted to argue the point; so let's get back on topic. Judy, tell us more about this cave you are building. Is it some kind of storage facility; will it have hanging space and mirrors and how are you going to explain your absences?
I'm with Sandra, Is it an actual cave that you are digging, like moonshiners, or is it a "CD Cave" as in you just need to carve out some space for yourself somewhere ? Which in itself can be understandable .
Believe me, I don't like keeping this secret but my wife and family are my life and it doesn't make sense to devoice in order to dress once or twice a month.
I'm pretty sure that's a lot of CD'er on this site haven't told there SO that they dress.
The Cave now named "The Play Room" ----- (man I hope there's no spies on here that know me) ----- it's in a building I own which has a storage room that's been full of junk furniture for ten years, I'm the only one with a key so I threw every thing out and have been cleaning out the years of dust.
The one problem I see is there's no running water.
At this point I've only set up a back-drop.
I'm thinking maybe some furniture would be nice but, I don't want to make it obvious what's going on.
Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 04-14-2018 at 08:34 PM.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
sounds like a recipe for disaster, hiding and lying is not the answer. Good luck with that though.
I am happy for you! Congratulations! Please post a few pictures when you have time, we are all dying to see and hear about it. Have fun and be safeYes I have read all the other comments, do what you need to do. Take care, Brenda
Judy,
I really hope the idea works, I know you have tried so hard to appease your wife.
I know I've asked this before but have you considered finding a social group so at least you can dress and be with like minded people rather than putting yourself in a cave, I personally wouldn't call it that to me it would be like going back into solitary confinement .
As for being messed up , I still wonder who has the worse problem with that , I do believe your wife is too much of a control freak and everyone lets her get away with it .
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