Ditto what Joni T said. At some point your wife will find out.
Ditto what Joni T said. At some point your wife will find out.
Judy, I am sorry, deceit leads to disaster.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
It sucks that you have to do this but it obvious how often you are on the forums you need a space to dress and your wife isn't allowing that. Would love to to see the setup (or at least some more details). Is it just functional for now or have you decorated the space too?
You can sugarcoat it all you want and say it's only about a Crossdressing Man Cave but it is NOT, it's about lying and deceiving his wife, who he has promised (unwisely) to that he would not dress (don t make promises that you can't keep). Nothing good will come from being dishonest. Face the music now rather than later. Ladies and gentlemen, she will eventually find out and now you're caught in a massive lie.
There is a
Meetup group on Meetup.com
That rents a hotel room everyday for CD's to dress and go as they please.
I agree that we shouldn't make promises we can't keep. Judy may have believed she could keep that promise, and did for two years. Judy has acknowledged guilt for the return of the desire to dress and breaking the promise. Is the piling-on necessary? So what to do? Deny the need to crossdress forever for an ill-advised (but not intentionally dishonest) promise? Get it over with and hang up the marriage? (but, gee, at least she was honest).
If Judy believes the wife's demand to not crossdress and threat to leave is unreasonable, and the choices are to
- don't crossdress (tried that)
- split up
- dress in secret,
Judy may have decided the third choice is the best, which IS Judy's decision to make.
I’m trying not to be overly critical but this seems selfish too me. Your wife has made it clear that she does not feel that the marriage is mainatainable if you continue to crossdress, which is her prerogative. Instead of respecting her wishes, you’re going behind her back and lying not only about the dressing but now also about the finances. (I’m assuming your out-of-town cave didn’t come free). If you respect her so little that you’d do that to her, and she’s making you miserable by not letting you be you, why are you still married?
Relationships are built on trust not lies. The poster I believe is looking for validation for breaking a promise and being dishonest. As I said a recipe for disaster. She will find out, women are good at snooping.
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IMHO if you have to lie to your wife about important issues then maybe you shouldn't be married.
How about flipping the threat.....If she doesn't allow you the freedom to dress You'll Leave Her !!!!
CD cave,she shack, she shed,man cave, private CD locker rentals.
An insurance commercial just showed a
She Shack/She Shed burning with the married couple finding out that there covered while two firefighters put out the destroyed structure.
Bo Jackson had a Man Cave in retirement.
Bo knows baseball,Bo knows football,Bo knows hockey,......
I see a pattern/trend!
Last edited by Lindabrown; 04-13-2018 at 06:06 PM.
Can I come and visit said "cave"? I hope that you get to enjoy your project.
Love, Sabrina
Thanks for all the advice.
Some say it's bad to dress with out telling her She hasn't asked me in the last two years If I've dressed!
She's probably afraid to know the answer.
Let's face it everyone has issues weather they believe or knot!
Just people I know, I have friends and brothers who cheated on their wives for years, a sister who had a baby from a married man, a sister who is lazy a hell and won't work and feels the world owes her, I know drug dealers and bank robbers, I have cousins that are phycologists that are pretty crazy, I know people who love money more than their family, and people are saying I messed up! Not!
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Judy-Somthing quote, "people are saying I'm messed up!" I think that some of the biggest quirks in people make them the sanest. Whether a Cd'er is following their dream, hobby, desire, or whatever, it is usually helping them to cope, relax. or just be who they are. The problem is people need to get some insight into the real reason why people do what they do. You like to wear dresses, so what, put on a cowboy hat and boots and say you are playing Cowboys and Indians! lol
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Dishonesty breeds more comfortable dishonesty
Scientific proof in article below
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wel...Ewo?li=BBnba9O
Last edited by Lindabrown; 04-14-2018 at 05:02 PM.
There are plenty of other threads where the morality and risks of deception have been debated and y'all could start a specific one if you really wanted to argue the point; so let's get back on topic. Judy, tell us more about this cave you are building. Is it some kind of storage facility; will it have hanging space and mirrors and how are you going to explain your absences?
I'm with Sandra, Is it an actual cave that you are digging, like moonshiners, or is it a "CD Cave" as in you just need to carve out some space for yourself somewhere ? Which in itself can be understandable .
Believe me, I don't like keeping this secret but my wife and family are my life and it doesn't make sense to devoice in order to dress once or twice a month.
I'm pretty sure that's a lot of CD'er on this site haven't told there SO that they dress.
The Cave now named "The Play Room" ----- (man I hope there's no spies on here that know me) ----- it's in a building I own which has a storage room that's been full of junk furniture for ten years, I'm the only one with a key so I threw every thing out and have been cleaning out the years of dust.
The one problem I see is there's no running water.
At this point I've only set up a back-drop.
I'm thinking maybe some furniture would be nice but, I don't want to make it obvious what's going on.
Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 04-14-2018 at 08:34 PM.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Without spending money to pipe in water you have a few less than ideal options. Gallon milk containers transport water efficiently and can fill a Keurig for hot water, tea, coffee, cappuccino, etc. Gravity can help turn a large water container into a faucet or even a shower. It all depends on your motivation.
Best to just get a mini camper trailer fitted as a makeup room and use that place as storage.
You can have hot/cold water,electricity and a shower with bathroom .
I rent a heated/cooled storage unit to hang out as Abby. The space is 2.2m x 2.2m with a 3.5m ceiling. I have it furnished, still rather Spartan but improving from time to time. The east wall is three levels of closet rods mounted on vertical 2x4 studs. I hang Abby's clothes there. I have a small stepladder and a hook to reach the top rod. There is a set of 1m wide cheap shelves along the south wall. Its ten shelves are home to Abby's shoes. Beside the shoe shelves hangs her nine purses, all leather in nine different colors. Her belts hang from the side of the shelves. Along the west wall is an old, nearly antique vanity with a 1.6m diameter circular mirror. The vanity has four drawers that store Abby's cosmetics, hosiery, breastforms, and jeans. Her three wigs are on styrofoam forms sitting on the right side of the vanity's top. Her jewelry boxes are on the left side. Her lingerie are in a lingerie rack that hangs on a clothes rod. There is a narrow full length mirror on the north wall and another mounted to the shoe shelves. This leaves a space about 1m wide and 2m long in the middle to stand and dress. The vanity mirror covers the entire dressing space well. I keep a folding chair to sit in. I should replace that with a more comfortable chair. A roll up door is the entire west "wall", so I enter to the left side of the vanity. I can roll down the door and leave the lock in place so it looks like the unit is locked when I am inside.
There is an obvious security camera at the building entrance and several at the main facility entrance. The facility has six buildings. I have not seen evidence of any interior security cameras yet. The neighborhood is safe, low crime, with two police stations within three blocks away. The lights in the hallways are on fifteen minute motion sensor switches. The heat is set to 10 C and the cool is set to 26 C. That temperature range can be a bit extreme, but I grew up in a house with far worse temperature extremes, so I do not mind. The thermostat's location is obvious but it is locked up. Not to worry...hang a bag of snow over it and the place warms up quickly. The unit is near a large window that the owners use for 24/7 lighted advertising, so the unit is fairly well lit day and night. This is my third unit. My previous two units were half this size and poorly lit. The lighting is why I moved units. The unit is located two blocks from my office. I can dress to my heart's content in peace. This rents for US$50 per month.