So following on from Teresa’s post about the importance, or NOT, of passing I thought it might well be worth re-addressing something that arises on a regular basis, namely the notion that, “I feel like a woman”.
Let me start by saying that my personal opinion is we can never truly feel like a woman. We’ll never experience a monthly cycle, the menopause. There are things that will always separate us. That said, I do think we can however feel feminine.
The notion that, “if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, then it’s a duck” is often used here to illustrate the concept that it takes more than just facial features for someone to be seen and taken as a female. Mannerisms play an important role in just how we a perceived by an onlooker. Getting those mannerisms in effect takes a bit of role play. We enter into a different way of thinking. Yes for some it becomes second nature and that’s where it’s possible to say you feel more feminine.
I would also say that many of those mannerisms are also learned by GG’s but from a very early age. It’s nurture not nature, a way of behaving that’s passed down from mothers to daughters, older sisters to siblings, peer to peer. Hence it’s possible for us to do the crash course and assimilate many of those same skills.
Add to that the time spent getting the look right, the experience of seeing a shapely figure looking back at you in the mirror, learning to walk, with style, in heels, having those mini chats with SA’s, eating without spoiling your lippy, all can contribute to feeling femme.
I would argue that if we don’t change how we feel consciously or subconsciously then if we go out we’re going to look like John Wayne in a frock. You have to radiate that sense of style in order for the viewer to see what we want them to see. That comes from within. The outer cladding only goes so far.
My persona in drab is different to that when dressed. After all these years it’s automatic. I’m still the (i hope nice) person it’s just that enfemme I present and most importantly, feel differently. It would be a huge mistake to underestimate just how that effects how the muggles relate and engage with us.
Perhaps to sum it up, we can never feel like a woman but we can have huge empathy for their situation and many of the things that influence their lives.