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Thread: How difficult is it to pass as women?

  1. #51
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Taylor, to answer your question' "Yes! It's hard to pass as a woman." So hard, that most here, even those that go out often never have! I know, because I go out often among Vanillas. I'd say easily over 100 times. And, how many times did I pass? Maybe 5?

    The question u should ask is, "How do u know when you've passed?" The answer is, "You'll KNOW!"

    Because when people mistake u for a woman with no 2nd thots, they treat u quite DIFFERENTLY than if they "aren't so sure".
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #52
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    You are so, so right, Casey.
    This topic comes up on the regular, enough so that it grows tedious to discuss, but what the hell...
    First of all "passing" is a loaded term, and typically involves some assumption about the subject. In other words, "passing" means one thing for a crossdresser. It means something else to a transsexual who has transitioned. Unless or until we provide some context, we can only speak in general terms. With that in mind, I'll say (yes, again) what I always say. Very few of us actually pass when even to most cursory of attention is paid to us. There are so many cues that give us away that once one is picked up, the rest will be examined in short order and the game is over. Blending, on the other hand, means simply escaping that first notice, which is not nearly as hard. Easier for some than others, but again, we're speaking in general terms.
    But to get back to Casey's observation, "blending" is, in my book, much more that escaping notice that would invite further scrutiny. Comportment, "acting like a lady", if you will, matters even more once we've been "read". The confident smile and pleasant demeanor will do much to get people to respect you and your presentation. If, on the other hand, you behave like a nervous, guilty-looking, man in a dress, the reaction you receive is likely to be less... kind.

  3. #53
    MissSwissMiss LexiNexi's Avatar
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    Its not easy! The one thing I have learned is don't dress over the top. Dress like a normal girl would. I am a few months into my transition into being a female responding really well to hormones and having laser hair removal so alot of head start and I have alot going for me like small stature/hands/feet and I still don't pass; just come off as really fem/gay boy. Voice gives it away. Any cross dresser that can pass has my envy and they put alot of work into it.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelakld View Post
    For me, at 5 ft 7 and 81Kg,
    I'm to old to worry about passing, or spending more than 5 minutes doing make up.

    so my give aways
    - Voice
    - My square chin and 5 o'clock shadow
    - My workouts at the gym and pools to build a strong, fit and lean body
    If you use foundation or concealer thats the same as your face color it works wonders. Even before I got laser on my face a one minute application of concealer and the 5 oclock shadow completely goes away; all day. The stuff is really amazing. Kind of tricky to put on because you want to rub it in but dabbing it on real thin is the trick. I sometimes use it on my arms to cover marks from needles from hormone shots.

    Also great to cover track marks If you like to shoot up drugs
    [COLOR="#800080"]Visit my *NEW site with pictures and not much (it's still new, lots to come) more!

  4. #54
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    For me, passing is impossible. I am 58 years old, bald and over 180cm tall and 140kg. That does not prevent me from putting on a dress and going out in public. I am, however, selective about where I go while dressed. If I feel there will be hostility toward me, I don't go alone. But I am discovering that very few people in my part of the world pay much attention to me, and I do not get negative comments or hostility from anyone. But my experiences may be of no use to you in India.

  5. #55
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    Just remember my friend cover girls don't cry once the mask is on ,scars to beautiful. ..your so beautiful

  6. #56
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    Passing is easier the younger you are. I used to be passable in my teens. But when you hit your twenties, your face begins to mature and look more masculine.

    It's something that's very noticable if you go to places like the Crossdressing Reddit page. Nearly all of the "Passable" CD's there are young guys in their late teens or early twenties.

    Of course there is also the "Genetics lottery". Some people are just born lucky and can pull it off naturally.

  7. #57
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    I don't know about India, but I find a lot of GGs walking around who don't pass as women.
    Totally agree with that statement 100%

  8. #58
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    As others have said, dress for the venue and time of day. Your dress, while it looks very nice and passable on you, will only attract extra scrutiny if it is out of place for where you are. But on the good side, you look passable, stay safe and have fun. Have you thought of making contact with another CDer?

  9. #59
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    If I may make some suggestions; these are things I noticed when I went out with my SO's support group.

    Don't overdo the eye makeup.
    Never use blue eye-shadow.
    "Cat eye" makeup is not day-wear unless you are in your 20's. Save it for the club.
    Don't sit with your legs apart.
    Don't walk with your legs apart.
    Make sure your forms are in proportion to your body. Nothing calls attention to you faster than DD's in a tight top. (Save the tight stuff for the club)
    Don't eat like you are at a trough, (that is with your head just inches away from your food and stuffing it in your mouth like someone may steal it from you).
    Don't wear stripper-wear to the mall or to family restaurants (save it for the club).
    Be polite and friendly.
    Generally, people out in public don't care about you so don't slink around like you are hiding something.
    Smile.

  10. #60
    Chelsea Von Chastity gender_blender's Avatar
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    It generally requires 2 feminine traits to offset a single male trait. For some, the effort needed is too substantial. Others don need to pass to obtain satisfaction. Depends on the individual. I found that taking hormones and getting my eyebrows done helped me pass the most.

  11. #61
    Reality Check
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    I don't know about India, but I find a lot of GGs walking around who don't pass as women.
    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    Totally agree with that statement 100%
    Please take a moment to stop and think how insulting that statement is. These "non-passable" women are human beings, somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, somebody's wife and somebody's mother. Perhaps they are not up to your standards but have a little respect and compassion.
    Krisi

  12. #62
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Krisi's rite. But, on the other hand, some women don't care or need to "pass". Why? Because they r women.

    The reason many of us want to is because we r NOT!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #63
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    Sherry,
    To answer your reply ( 51#) It is quite funny to be in that sitaution , I was discussed by a husband and wife, the wife read me the husband wouldn't hear anything of it , I just sat back and took in their discussion . It was when the wife was looking for the paper I had been reading and I stood up and walked over to ask if she would like the paper , the look on the husband's face was priceless !! Maybe I should have offered to buy him a drink he looked like he needed one !

  14. #64
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    So, Sometimes Steffi, do you mean that if men don’t look like, say for instance, Brad Pitt, they don’t pass as men? GG’s don’t have to be petite, young, or fit whatever your vision of a GG is. They are GG’s by default.

  15. #65
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    The saying is, " you can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time ! " The point is don't go out and try and fool them , it's not an act , you will get far more acceptance by being dressed appropriately and polite to people .

    I usually say that Teresa but I agree being yourself is actually easier. I did not mean you are setting out to fool them.

    Although to someone looking from the outside of the community that is how it may seem.


    Char GG is absolutely correct women come in all shapes and sizes just like men.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  16. #66
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    Things that I have found out....

    1) the older you get, the easier ir is to pass because as humans age, males and females tend to get gender neutral in appearance. ...females start to look more masculine and males look more feminine.
    2) Females come is all shapes and sizes. For example, Kaley Cuoco (TBBT) has for a female, rather broad shoulders coupled with narrow hips .
    Females, learn to use clothing types to mask their flaws and accent their good points
    3) You must dress your age and given situation. Fetish clothes are definitely out.

    Having said all that....
    As long are you are reasonably feminine in face and body when dressed, anyone can pass.
    By pass, I mean just walking down the street.... in the mall etc.... in some stores ,
    Interacting with people, other that smiling, can be a different story of course but , that can come as confidence grows.

    Finally.......
    4) You must have the attitude that you are not doing anything wrong and are just wearing exactly what other females are wearing.
    You must think that you have every right to wear what you are wearing.
    So, there is no reason to be nervous. You can even browse the lingerie sections alongside other females and no one will give you a second look.

    People can notice nervousness and it will attract attention.
    If you act like you are doing something wrong, people will just assume that you are up to something / doing something wrong.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 04-25-2018 at 02:49 PM.

  17. #67
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    Passing is a myth for most of us, but going out can be fun anyway. I was at the mall Monday, my first real outing, and I had a ball. I was spotted by a couple of women, one was at the beauty counter, she gave a warm smile, way more that a perfect stranger should get. No problem, i was comfortable and having a great time. I was dressed modestly, but thoroughly, with hip pads, jewelry my new grayish wig, thinking i will blend in 100%. I did venture into a middle eastern dress store to look at some beautiful full length gowns, with sequins and details out of this world. the SA strolled over to me and I said these are beautiful, to which she said, "and you are beautiful" No s**t. I didn't know what to say, so i said "i just love women's clothes, men's so are boring". She smiled, so i asked her if she would take my picture. here it is:
    mall trip.jpg
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  18. #68
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    Fact is.. there are some fairly masculine looking females .
    I have also seen men with tiny hands and females with man size hands.... men with wide hips and females with narrow ones. There are men with high pitched voices and female with low pitched ones..etc...etc.
    It's all about how you carry and present yourself.

    People just do not view every female thinking that they might be a man, unless you you give them reason to think so.

    Also, consider this.....
    In this day and age, someone might indeed senses that you were born a male but, they may also think that you might very well be transitioning into female and have a bit of respect for you.

    Haters will always exist and this is why you have to be careful about where and when you go somewhere.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 04-25-2018 at 05:14 PM.

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