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Thread: How difficult is it to pass as women?

  1. #1
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    How difficult is it to pass as women?

    Hello

    I hear many here do not pass but what is the main reason for that to not pass as a women?

    I am planning my first proper dressed out in 30 days from now out as a CD but at remote area where less people are there. Clothes are either black peplum mini dress or spaghetti straps mini dress.
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    Last edited by taylor12; 04-19-2018 at 11:00 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    The main reason is that we are men. We have men's bodies, men's faces, Men's big hands and feet. The list goes on....
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I suppose it depends on what you mean by “pass”. Going unnoticed in a crowd from 50 yards away? Not terribly difficult. Interacting one-on-on and face to face? Much more difficult. I notice that you’re from India. I’m unfamiliar with the culture over there, and my understanding is that it’s not a country that’s terribly tolerant towards us, so please please please be very careful going out. If there are laws against that sort of thing where you live be even more cautious.

  4. #4
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    We walk like monkeys, grunt and scratch ourselves too.
    Facial structure, beard shadow about a million things give us away.
    A remote area late at night can be dangerous so pick a place to go during the daytime where there are lots of people.
    Its a lot safer that way.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  5. #5
    stone free mykell's Avatar
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    i think the key is to pass as your"self" first.
    once you are over the fear that some will figure you out and it does not matter then you are ready to mix upon folks in the wild.
    you wanting to go to a remote area with less people in a mini dress does not sound like the right formula unless you were going to a club to socialize.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  6. #6
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I don't know about India, but I find a lot of GGs walking around who don't pass as women.

    In the 50s and 60s when all woman were petite, even an average sized dude would stick out in a crowd.

    Now with the obesity epidemic, larger woman have made it much easier for many men to pass aa a woman in plain sight.

    I think my voice and comportment are my biggest "tells".
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  7. #7
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    As already said be careful in India. You look tall and slender and I really think small long boned guys have an advantage over us brutes that are big shouldered and lots of bulky muscle. Your dress looks nice.

  8. #8
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    It is best to go out in day and where three is people around. Blending in is best also. I think you look good enough.
    Part Time Girl

  9. #9
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    In the 50s and 60s when all woman were petite...
    What? Perhaps you mean when they were trying to make larger, non-conforming women invisible? I'm pretty sure non-petite women are not a recent invention.

    I note the Indian Supreme Court has made a number of decisions endorsing transgender rights over the last few years and several state-run businesses have tried to accommodate transgender folks, so maybe things are changing there just like they're changing elsewhere in the world. Still, it's always correct to stay aware of your situation when out and about.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    I pas the 200/200 test. I'm totally passable at 200 yards and at 200 mph. Otherwise there are enough tells that something will give me away

    Jodi

  11. #11
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    You do know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 and by modern standards would be considered a “Plus Size” Steffi?

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Taylor,

    One way people give themselves away is by being furtive, skulking about. Confidence is key. Looking like you belong goes a long way. As said many times, you need to dress appropriately for the time and place. A GG in a ball gown will stand out in a supermarket.

    As others have said you need to be careful. Sadly gang beatings and rape are not unheard of in India despite moves made by the judiciary. Goa as I'm sure you're aware is a favorite haunt of young western tourists/backpackers. You're probable safer in areas frequented by them but at the end of the day it's down to you to make those decisions as to where you feel safest.

    I really hope it all goes well but please do your homework. Know the place you're going to. Trust your senses. If things feel wrong then they usually are. Time to leave.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  13. #13
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Perhaps, the "main reason" that CDs do not "pass" as women is that they have very strong male features. Features such as a large strong body, being tall, having large hands, and feet or a low pitched voice. These things would not seem to be an issue for you. Other things that can be issues are how you walk, how you use your hands, how you move. If you are going to interact directly with others, how you speak can be an issue. Women usually speak differently than men.

    Carefully choose where you will go. Sometimes you are less noticeable in a crowd than if there are few people around. Do not sneak around! Act as if you belong there. I do not know how it is in India but a small smile is a great way to help you be accepted as a woman even if you do not pass. Do not do things that will attract attention to yourself. Dressing similar to the people around you is best.

    You will, of course, be very nervous when you first go out in public. Try to stay as calm as possible and be aware of what is going on around you. Avoid areas where there could be unfriendly people. Enjoy!
    Hugs, Carole

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member jenna116's Avatar
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    Was interested to read the post about MM's size. Some googling however indicates that she was 5'6" and weighed about 120 lbs. Sounds like a size 4 or 6 today.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  15. #15
    Member Julie Martin's Avatar
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    Taylor,

    I second what others have said about safety..if you are not sure how people in your area will react if they discover you are a crossdresser, please choose the area carefully, and have an escape plan if anyone gives you trouble..safety first!

    Also as others have said..blending and passing are two very different things.

    If you dress appropriately for your age, body type, and the location you will be going to, blending is not too hard..if you keep moving and don’t engage with anybody one-on-one…unless you are 6-4 or built like an NFL linebacker...then it’s unlikely!

    PASSING is virtually impossible for all but a tiny fraction of crossdressers..
    ..passing (my personal definition anyway) means you could have a 10 minute conversation in bright sunlight with a teenage girl and her mom, and they would never suspect that you weren’t born a woman.
    For this you either need:
    -a totally convincing female voice (if they couldn’t see you they would still hear a woman), somewhat feminine facial features (think actor Orlando Bloom or similar), great makeup, and either your own long styled hair or a killer lace-front wig (for which you need a feminine face)..if you have all this, you could wear a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants and no shapewear and pass just fine

    ..or..
    -a decent female voice, and be expert at hiding any strong male facial structure with hairstyle and makeup, and distracting with perfect shapewear and clothing selection..even then, unless you sound and look female from the neck up, anything else is moot

    So Taylor..if you’ve never been in public crossdressed..go where there are people and you are sure it’s a safe area, and be happy to blend in. Save passing or close encounters for the future..if you are one of the lucky few who can really pass as a woman..you will know when you are ready.

    Have fun, be safe!!

  16. #16
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
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    Taylor, Another male giveaway is a large adams apple. It seems you may have a noticeable one from your photo. You might consider a scarf or other neck wear to cover it up. Like others have said, it is very hard to pass when close up to others and speaking. At a distance, even tall individuals can pass because most people don't pay much attention to others.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  17. #17
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    Most men don't have a feminine physique. For the few who do and dress, however, I'm sure they'll pass to a degree. I've been mistaken at first glance / blush several times. Although I can't remember the exact circumstances each time they've always occurred at dusk or afterwards. Perhaps it was my silhouette or general form when seen from several metres away.
    I love film, fitness, and fashion. Those are the keys to unlock my heart.

  18. #18
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    For me I'm 5"10" and 42" chest sz 18 in women's dresses I would say I could only pass at a distance in low lighting!
    But I'm still having FUN!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  19. #19
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pat View Post
    What? Perhaps you mean when they were trying to make larger, non-conforming women invisible? I'm pretty sure non-petite women are not a recent invention.
    Larger women are not a recent invention, but women were in large part 5-7-9, hence the name of the store.

    My Dad was a shoe buyer, and he took me along on some of his buying trips. I remember one case specifically when he was closing the deal that he wanted shoe sizes 7, 8 and 9 (plus 1/2 sizes). He did not want any 10s because he couldn't sell them.

    Today, I think typical sizes for women are 8, 9 and 10, and maybe 11, but size 7 is too small.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It takes a lot of time to disguise yourself properly, as previous posts have pointed out.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    It's all about our male features.

    In the passing-arena I'm blessed with being short, small hands, and somewhat of a small shoe size (though size 9 U.S. can be considered kind of large for a woman).


    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  22. #22
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    I would dress like the women around the area where you are going. I'm not sure the minidresses will work for a first time out. Those dresses will draw a lot of attention.

  23. #23
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Taylor, your question has a multitude of answers, there can be many reasons why people don't pass as well as many definitions of passing. Personally I like to call it blending, which means that if we have enough female outward markers most people don't look at us well enough to see past those initial markers. So if you don't have too many obvious prominent male markers you can blend in. Don't get fooled by some on here who claim that passing is easy and guaranteed if you look good enough, that's simply not the case unless your gifted with very few male markers.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  24. #24
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    Voice, physique, facial structure, beard shadow... many things. Passing is difficult even for the luckiest of us. You'd also be much safer, as others said, to go out during the day in a public place (ideally a place with surveillance cameras like a mall.)

    Also, for what it is worth, big men and big women are built very differently.

    Marilyn Monroe did not wear a size 16 in 1950s sizes, much less a larger modern size 16 "vanity size". https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/dressed-to-fill/
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 04-20-2018 at 12:37 AM.

  25. #25
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    The biggest obstacle of passing is standing out among the crowd. I'm six foot and 200 pounds. Even among men my age I stand out. In pictures with women in my family I stand out. How could I ever not stand out among the general public? I do not see very many women who are tall. When I do their facial features and frame are similar to shorter women. I concur with Steffi (#6, above). A cross dresser emulating a plus size shorter woman has a better chance of pulling it off. The added weight obscures the lack of a defined hour glass shape. Added mass on the neck area hides the Adam's apple. I do peruse on occasion the pictures of very attractive MtF cross dressers on the Internet. I do realize many of the photos may be photo shopped or clean up in the same manner a professional photographer may eliminate unwanted blemishes, but, there seems to be quite a few who pass lovingly. I have to assume I have passed some by in my daily travels, but, I have not noticed them.

    My personal experience is east Indian women appear to be slighter in build and not as tall as American women. If that is the norm in Indian, then it may be more difficult to pass in Indian than in America. I have seen comments on this forum that men and women of the same ethnic and cultural background of a cross dresser can identify a cross dresser than the rest of the general population. I can only assume there are signs which giveaway the cross dresser that I am not be able to identify.

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