A rather apropos article for this forum. https://www.racked.com/2018/4/23/172...ng-men-dresses
A rather apropos article for this forum. https://www.racked.com/2018/4/23/172...ng-men-dresses
Fascinating article!
It totally nails the absurdity of the societally-imposed gender binary (and divide) that we as males are expected to rigidly adhere to. That whole concept really does defy logic, but then again, it is all about power politics and keeping the patriarchy unassailable.
I feel fortunate that I have had the self-confidence and intestinal fortitude to throw off those shackles, but that did come at the cost of enduring years of unnecessary and debilitating guilt to finally get to that point.
Excellent article. Thanks for the link. It cohesively expresses the sentiments we read every day in this forum.
I don’t really explains crossdressing so much as it explains hostility to transgenderism. It doesnt explain why a man would do something that rationall buys him nothing but it’s a plausible explaination for why other men find that act abhorrent.
I'm content being a once in a while girl.
Nice article.
Just from my experience and observations it kind of boils down to It's OK in western society for women not to conform, but for men it's about conformity ...... or else.
I think a lot of women would disagree with your perception that it's OK for them not to conform.Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter
Even before I realized all of this, I felt that those who criticized gay/trans people were not secure in their own sexuality and that was why they were so prejudice! I think they are afraid they might "catch" it! Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
That is true for many people. However, there is a large segment of society who feel it is a moral sin and the person is making a choice over which he or she has control.
"The display of skirts on men is effectively an undermining of male power — by males. To put it extremely, they are like deserting troops."
This is the quotation that spoke to me the loudest. It is no wonder there are people who think we are crazy to desert our maleness by slipping into a feminine outfit.
For myself, I feel I have to be braver than the average Joe to go against societal norms by donning a dress. Developing intestinal fortitude is one of my main reasons why I keep trying to stretch my horizons with this crossdressing thing.
Society may not believe it, but I think I am a better person than I would be otherwise.
Sami
My new blog: The Crossdresser Report
https://crossdresserreport.com/
What a wonderful insight by someone into the reason women wear mens shirts first thing in the morning.
You see it all the time in a relationship and in movies.
I do agree hairy men do look out of place in a nice negligee. :-)
Maybe they have the foresight not to do it.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Women usually wear their guys shirt lounging around in the morning because it smells like their man. They don't wear it to CD if that is what you are thinking.
He may be gone to work and they feel lonely who knows.
I was told this by more than one GG so I take their word for it.
Great article thanks for sharing X
Very insightful, thought provoking, and comforting. Thanks so much for posting.
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Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
what a wonderful article. It demonstrates the absurdity of attaching a label to a person because of the way they dress
This is my opinion only:
When the majority of women wear pants/jeans, they buy them in the women's department, they are not trying to fool others into thinking they are women. They don't try to disguise their voices, use fake names, use fake beards, etc. The norm in society now is: women wear pants. Over 50 years ago, it was not the norm. It took a while and a lot of women wearing pants for it to become commonplace.
This opinion is for CDer's only, does not pertain to trans. The problem that I see with men is that at the current time, there are no skirts or dresses specifically made for men that are sold in the men's department. Yes, there are fashion models of men wearing skirts but I haven't seen them in stores yet. So, if men did buy skirts and did not try to "pass as women" but as a man wearing a skirt, if lots of men flocked to the stores to buy skirts (as women did in the 50's & 60's to buy pants), and if men were comfortable being a man in a skirt, not trying to fool anyone with fake names, fake hair, fake boobs, and all that stuff, maybe CDers would not feel so out of place.
My question to CDers only is that if men in skirts and dresses were commonplace, would it be as much fun for you as it is now? If you didn't try to fool anyone into "acceptance", would it be as thrilling? Or would you just be happy that you don't have to hide (if you do hide)?
Last edited by char GG; 04-26-2018 at 10:31 PM.
Char GG,
You asked a good question.
Obviously I can't speak for anyone else. For me, however, I don't wear dresses for fun.
Yes, I enjoy wearing dresses, but it's because I feel comfortable wearing them, and I like the way I look when I'm wearing a dress, hose and heels.
You may be wondering, what about the rest? The make up, and the wig? Yes, I wear them, too. It's part of the package of what is necessary for me to look like a woman.
Right or wrong it's what society expects, at least for today. When the general public sees someone wearing a dress, they expect for that person to look like a woman. So because I have no desire to be accosted, ridiculed or humiliated, I'm willing to do what is needed to present as a woman.
If it were possible for me wake up tomorrow and choose to put on dress, stockings and heels then head off to work, (sans makeup, fake boobs, wig,) and know that when I arrived at the office, I'd be greeted by my coworkers as though it were completely normal, and acceptable, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Char,
It's really irrelevant who you pose that question to because the whole question isn't that straight forward , some float from one state to another, to say some are just CDers means very little, we wear the clothes for different and varied reasons as time passes our needs change . I can't say the thrill has totally gone but some days I forget I'm dressed . Some people have commented they're not women's clothes they're my clothes I'm beginning to appreciate that comment now . I feel more comfortable dressed, choosing clothes changes as we evolve like any woman needs to learn the ropes on deciding what goes with what . It's not a case of fooling anyone but looking good the same way a woman would want to , OK some of us can't have our own hair styled but we can choose a suitable wig and take care with makeup, it's no more fake than many women . Looking good as a female is far more enjoyable than being male and yes it is more fun , women can conjure up so many looks with clothes and makeup a man has very few choices . OK the downside is what is associated with some male behaviour when dressed which is something very rarely considered in women .
The idea that the reason alpha males kick sand in the face of betas (apparently under orders from The Patriarchy™) is to enforce the gender binary doesn't age well. Actually, it's more likely alphas want to kick betas out of the gender binary and keep them out, to keep them "in their place" so to speak. Alphas don't really want or need competition for desirable women. And desirable women decide what qualities are desirable in men not The Patriarchy™.
It is pretty simple.
1. Most men (the overwhelming majority) have no desire to wear skirts or dresses or anything traditionally feminine. It just does not appeal to most men, at all.
2. If women found men in dresses sexually attractive, men would be wearing dresses. Women do not find men in dresses sexually attractive (outside of TV fiction), so men do not wear them. Men will dress, or not dress, in a way women find attractive, because most men are straight and want women to find them attractive. If all women want to wear pants only, men will have to go along because men have a strong desire/need for women; women are not as desperate for men as men are for women.
Candice,
Sad to read really , what comes to mind is stuck in a male straightjacket, I have to say much of the text does show a big cultural difference between the US and the UK , it's one I didn't expect to see as much .
OK the wording is at times controversial , to say any man who wears a dress will flounce around in it , there are so many stereotypes in the article, it's more the reason to have good forums like this one to air our views and hoepfully to find the strength and courage to go out there and prove these articles wrong . The majority of us are wired this way end of story , I'm going to attend two events next month to hopefully put this across . One in a Pride week at a college and another in a conference for the LGTB community . We have to show we haven't given anything up in what we do in fact we have more to offer . I don't feel I'm' a lesser person, OK my separation is partly down to my wife not being able to accept she doesn't have the husband she married anymore .
Last edited by Teresa; 04-24-2018 at 08:20 AM.
It’s a good article but I can’t buy into the opening paragraph for one reason specific to me. I’m 6’4”, a foot taller and about half again the weight of my wife. She can slip into my shirt easily, where me slipping into her shift would result in tearing the garment or cutting off circulation.
That being said, I have tried to be more open about wearing traditionally female clothing even when in boy mode. I have occasionally worn a skirt or heels out to lunch with no makeup or a bra. I haven’t heard any specific comments, but I do think I get odd looks. But that could just be my own insecurities too.
I do have a burlesque show weekend happy hour tomorrow night. This type of discussion inspires me, I’ll do a little mixed gender fashion for that event.
Rebecca Bas
The article is very well written but it represents apples to the oranges that are mostly seen in these pages. If anything the article provides a means for understanding of the MIAD expression, and of course the very nature of gender binary.
Teresa, you are blazing your own trail but I dare to say that the life you are living doesn't necessarily fit the narrative of the article. This is true for many (most?) of those in these pages who venture out in public, whether occasionally or full time. (Including myself as occasionally) We squeeze, pad, make-up, cap (wig) and accessorize to bury as much of the male as possible to present as a (gasp) binary representation of a female.
This of course is entirely different from a MIAD, and especially contrasts against the average Joe off the street which the article references directly. It is speculated as to why he doesn't simply consider grabbing a dress from his SO's side of the closet and throwing it on with no regard for the stubble on his face, the protrusion of a beer belly instead of breasts and the fur on his legs, arms, etc. The difference is that the MIAD generally does his thing with decorum and a sense of style (knowing what works, what doesn't, what to avoid if not trying to utterly shock the Muggles) where the average Joe is just going to look silly. Generally speaking, female clothes look silly on the male body when just plopped on while the same dress/outfit would look just fine when plopped on the female body it was designed for.
Is this perception simply a result of how pervasive the gender binary is? Perhaps. Most of us prove it in here every day and provide positive reinforcement to those who present within what is considered typical for a gender-binary-female (while chastising those who significantly deviate from that norm). But as I have said repeatedly, nothing is likely to change soon despite the fraction of a percent of the MIAD's, CDs/TGs/etc who are out there blazing their own unique trails.
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 04-24-2018 at 08:30 AM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
With the advent of the Internet, it has become pretty easy for anyone to publish just about anything and claim it as fact. I think the article referenced is pretty much a bunch of crap and should not be taken seriously. Most of us should have enough life experience to be able to look around us and separate reality from fantasy.
Krisi
Ah...The old "Fake News!" trope. Care to elaborate as to what caused you to come to this conclusion, which is decidedly different from that of most of the other posters here?
Oh come on now. This isn't that complicated, and we've gone over this all many times before. Women are generally sexually turned off by femininity in a male; don't believe me? How many women go out and buy their male mate a frilly nitegown? Virtually zero.
So it's in men's best interest to avoid any feminine accoutrements or behavior like the plague if he wishes to be sexually desirable to females. Sure, YOU might find ONE woman out of ten million that will accept her man being 'girly'. But it's not common at all.
It depends upon whether wearing a dress will be of some type of benefit to the woman. Go out to a nightclub and nearly all the women are wearing dresses or skirts.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 04-24-2018 at 11:34 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
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