A rather apropos article for this forum. https://www.racked.com/2018/4/23/172...ng-men-dresses
A rather apropos article for this forum. https://www.racked.com/2018/4/23/172...ng-men-dresses
Fascinating article!
It totally nails the absurdity of the societally-imposed gender binary (and divide) that we as males are expected to rigidly adhere to. That whole concept really does defy logic, but then again, it is all about power politics and keeping the patriarchy unassailable.
I feel fortunate that I have had the self-confidence and intestinal fortitude to throw off those shackles, but that did come at the cost of enduring years of unnecessary and debilitating guilt to finally get to that point.
Excellent article. Thanks for the link. It cohesively expresses the sentiments we read every day in this forum.
Even before I realized all of this, I felt that those who criticized gay/trans people were not secure in their own sexuality and that was why they were so prejudice! I think they are afraid they might "catch" it! Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
"The display of skirts on men is effectively an undermining of male power — by males. To put it extremely, they are like deserting troops."
This is the quotation that spoke to me the loudest. It is no wonder there are people who think we are crazy to desert our maleness by slipping into a feminine outfit.
For myself, I feel I have to be braver than the average Joe to go against societal norms by donning a dress. Developing intestinal fortitude is one of my main reasons why I keep trying to stretch my horizons with this crossdressing thing.
Society may not believe it, but I think I am a better person than I would be otherwise.
Sami
My new blog: The Crossdresser Report
https://crossdresserreport.com/
I don’t really explains crossdressing so much as it explains hostility to transgenderism. It doesnt explain why a man would do something that rationall buys him nothing but it’s a plausible explaination for why other men find that act abhorrent.
I'm content being a once in a while girl.
Nice article.
Just from my experience and observations it kind of boils down to It's OK in western society for women not to conform, but for men it's about conformity ...... or else.
What a wonderful insight by someone into the reason women wear mens shirts first thing in the morning.
You see it all the time in a relationship and in movies.
I do agree hairy men do look out of place in a nice negligee. :-)
Maybe they have the foresight not to do it.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Women usually wear their guys shirt lounging around in the morning because it smells like their man. They don't wear it to CD if that is what you are thinking.
He may be gone to work and they feel lonely who knows.
I was told this by more than one GG so I take their word for it.
Great article thanks for sharing X
Very insightful, thought provoking, and comforting. Thanks so much for posting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
what a wonderful article. It demonstrates the absurdity of attaching a label to a person because of the way they dress
Candice,
Sad to read really , what comes to mind is stuck in a male straightjacket, I have to say much of the text does show a big cultural difference between the US and the UK , it's one I didn't expect to see as much .
OK the wording is at times controversial , to say any man who wears a dress will flounce around in it , there are so many stereotypes in the article, it's more the reason to have good forums like this one to air our views and hoepfully to find the strength and courage to go out there and prove these articles wrong . The majority of us are wired this way end of story , I'm going to attend two events next month to hopefully put this across . One in a Pride week at a college and another in a conference for the LGTB community . We have to show we haven't given anything up in what we do in fact we have more to offer . I don't feel I'm' a lesser person, OK my separation is partly down to my wife not being able to accept she doesn't have the husband she married anymore .
Last edited by Teresa; 04-24-2018 at 08:20 AM.
It’s a good article but I can’t buy into the opening paragraph for one reason specific to me. I’m 6’4”, a foot taller and about half again the weight of my wife. She can slip into my shirt easily, where me slipping into her shift would result in tearing the garment or cutting off circulation.
That being said, I have tried to be more open about wearing traditionally female clothing even when in boy mode. I have occasionally worn a skirt or heels out to lunch with no makeup or a bra. I haven’t heard any specific comments, but I do think I get odd looks. But that could just be my own insecurities too.
I do have a burlesque show weekend happy hour tomorrow night. This type of discussion inspires me, I’ll do a little mixed gender fashion for that event.
Rebecca Bas
I must agree with the article, but I immediately thought of something else. Even the most casual observation reveals that not very many women are casually wearing dresses these days, even though they are perfectly free to do so.
The article is very well written but it represents apples to the oranges that are mostly seen in these pages. If anything the article provides a means for understanding of the MIAD expression, and of course the very nature of gender binary.
Teresa, you are blazing your own trail but I dare to say that the life you are living doesn't necessarily fit the narrative of the article. This is true for many (most?) of those in these pages who venture out in public, whether occasionally or full time. (Including myself as occasionally) We squeeze, pad, make-up, cap (wig) and accessorize to bury as much of the male as possible to present as a (gasp) binary representation of a female.
This of course is entirely different from a MIAD, and especially contrasts against the average Joe off the street which the article references directly. It is speculated as to why he doesn't simply consider grabbing a dress from his SO's side of the closet and throwing it on with no regard for the stubble on his face, the protrusion of a beer belly instead of breasts and the fur on his legs, arms, etc. The difference is that the MIAD generally does his thing with decorum and a sense of style (knowing what works, what doesn't, what to avoid if not trying to utterly shock the Muggles) where the average Joe is just going to look silly. Generally speaking, female clothes look silly on the male body when just plopped on while the same dress/outfit would look just fine when plopped on the female body it was designed for.
Is this perception simply a result of how pervasive the gender binary is? Perhaps. Most of us prove it in here every day and provide positive reinforcement to those who present within what is considered typical for a gender-binary-female (while chastising those who significantly deviate from that norm). But as I have said repeatedly, nothing is likely to change soon despite the fraction of a percent of the MIAD's, CDs/TGs/etc who are out there blazing their own unique trails.
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 04-24-2018 at 08:30 AM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
With the advent of the Internet, it has become pretty easy for anyone to publish just about anything and claim it as fact. I think the article referenced is pretty much a bunch of crap and should not be taken seriously. Most of us should have enough life experience to be able to look around us and separate reality from fantasy.
Krisi
I think the points it makes are valid. Most women would have no problem shopping in the mens section (even if they don't prefer it) but most men would refuse to even look in the womens section.
I know that we all read things differently, not to mention myself 1/2 understanding things.
But for me just to read the article which is written in modern time is just depressing! The article for me just points out how backward society is and highlights what we must deal with every day!
The Manly part of it all really annoys me as well because I have trouble in seeing anything manly in most men, possibly because such men were usually standing behind me.
Sorry about the aggressive attitude, but society as a whole prevents me from wearing what I choose and the blame is on them!
No person should ever be stopped wearing what they choose because of anothers insecurities!
Stacy needs to chill out, Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
Interesting read. This world is based on stereotypes any more. Where men are masculine and woman are feminine.
In the past Scottish soldiers wore kilts into battle, Basically a skirt. Even today when formal dressing some consider a kilt as part of that outfit. and people don't bat an eye at it. In the middle ages men wore pink, white, and yellow with ruffles and lace. Was it effeminate, no it was status.
Kelsey
Ah...The old "Fake News!" trope. Care to elaborate as to what caused you to come to this conclusion, which is decidedly different from that of most of the other posters here?Originally Posted by Krisi
Oh come on now. This isn't that complicated, and we've gone over this all many times before. Women are generally sexually turned off by femininity in a male; don't believe me? How many women go out and buy their male mate a frilly nitegown? Virtually zero.
So it's in men's best interest to avoid any feminine accoutrements or behavior like the plague if he wishes to be sexually desirable to females. Sure, YOU might find ONE woman out of ten million that will accept her man being 'girly'. But it's not common at all.
It depends upon whether wearing a dress will be of some type of benefit to the woman. Go out to a nightclub and nearly all the women are wearing dresses or skirts.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 04-24-2018 at 11:34 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
That is true for many people. However, there is a large segment of society who feel it is a moral sin and the person is making a choice over which he or she has control.
Lexi,
I don't totally agree , we estimate about 25% of the wives / partners attend our social groups , all are happy to help the Cders out everyone I've spoken to are OK with the home life in this situation. So if that's an average throughout the CDing groups that is a considerable figure of acceptance .
Stacy ,
I'm sorry you feel like that , I feel it's more in your head than the reality of what society thinks, I've certainly found that in the UK . Most of the fears of stepping out the door are just melting away . That's why I'm annoyed with much of the text in the article it's dated and biased and appears to come from the pen of someone who lives in a very biased society . It had to be in our hands to try and change this bigoted attitude , why should men have to accept this dreadful straightjacket ? I've never read so much bunk as to believe a man who dresses in a dress goes from the top of the social heap to join the rejects at the bottom . I've dressed all my life, OK mostly in the closet but it didn't stop me running my business and raising kids , I know for a fact that applies to many others here on the forum , we are not social outcasts and the sooner we put that message across the better .
Last edited by Teresa; 04-24-2018 at 01:29 PM.
Interesting observation in the article on the view (wrong in my opinion) that 'real men aren't feminine'. I disagree, I'm widely considered an alpha male, former lumberjack, current biker, married father of three beautifully adjusted adult children, straight, but I have a feminine side, too. I love a mini skirt (on me, in private, on a pretty woman in public), much prefer knickers to pants (yep, British) and adore a neglige in private - for me and them. How's that handing over power?
Last edited by Susan Smith; 04-28-2018 at 01:53 PM. Reason: Typo
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