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Thread: I dont think im pretty.

  1. #1
    Member Ronnie38's Avatar
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    I dont think im pretty.

    Last night my wife asked me to wear a dress that is a favorite of ours but when i did i just felt ugly. I have no shape. No butt. No hips. Aparently have great legs though.anyone else ever think this way?

  2. #2
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Yes, I have. I solved that problem by creating a female figure with a waist cincher, hip and butt pads and silicone breast forms. I rarely ever feel that way anymore. Would be worth the effort to help you feel better and enjoy the moment. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    The world likes pretty people. Do what it takes to get there. Even the process will lift your spirits and, when done, you will feel so much better.

  4. #4
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    A body can be worked on though, with all kinds of workouts or undergarments.

    But nothing can be done about my ugly face

  5. #5
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Queen,

    A smile and a matching personality helps out a lot. That helps people get by the initial look.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Not surprisingly we are often our own worst critics. How many GG's feel they're not attractive, even ugly having bought into the fashion mags idea of what an attractive female should look like.

    Part of our journey is learning to work with what we have, add what's missing, forms, padding, corsetry, wigs etc. and then do the best we can with what's left. I'll never be taken for an attractive middle aged GG when seen face to face. What I can achieve is the ability to pass through a crowd largely un-noticed and if noticed, not so that I scare the children!
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  7. #7
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Dresses are made to fit a womans body and you don't have one so what do you expect?
    Hip and butt padding is needed if you want the dress to look nice.
    Time to get your act together and make an effort and quit complaining.
    I'm not being mean just honest lots of members here use padding of some sort.

    @ P.S. I don't think I look all that great either but I try my best.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 04-26-2018 at 07:37 PM.
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  8. #8
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    I dont think I'm pretty either, on an absolute scale. But what I am able to do is put together an outfit that works well on my particular shape, is age appropriate and tasteful. When dressed, I am confident that this is the best look possible for me and I am able to go out into the world and project that confidence. I have been told many times by random passers-by that they like my shoes, my legs, my dress, my outfit in general so it can't be a fluke or sarcasm and every time it happens, my confidence inches up another notch. In short, I own it, so people are buying it.

    It is entirely possible that you are trying on dresses that are the wrong shape for you. God knows there's lots out there that are wrong for me! I suggest you go, alone, to a dress shop and ask for the help of a senior sales person. This person will have insights and ideas that your wife might not and will be an invaluable source of second opinions. You'll either find your wife was right all along, or you'll learn what is the right direction to go with your personal style. Either way, it shpuld help boost your confidence. Good luck!

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Genny B's Avatar
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    The style of dress makes a difference to. I like Fit and Flares and find I do not need to wear padding with them, just my breast forms.

    Genny B
    Dani (Genny before Transition)
    All Girl!

  10. #10
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Suzanne is right and just because you like the dress doesn't mean its the right dress for you as far as how its made and how it lays on your body.
    There are lots of clothes I love but just don't look good on me so I have to work around that and find something that works.
    It takes lots of effort to look good and there is not a one of us here that doesn't work hard on our presentation.
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  11. #11
    1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Ronnie: There are days when I can look at a picture of myself and be really happy with it . Then on other days, I can look at the *same* picture and ask myself what I was even thinking .

    I love the comment about the absolute scale . On a scale of women, I know how I look does not move the needle, but still it gives me great relief internally that I'm more aligned with how I feel. I aim to look presentable as a CDer, and hopefully create some doubt about my real gender for 3 seconds - enough to walk past a member of the public who might take a glance.

    I also agree with others that said you should take a look at shapewear / foundation garments. You might even want to layer four sets of foundation garments . I have no idea who would do such a thing, but he sure would have to be crazy *cough* .

    - Lydianne.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 04-27-2018 at 03:07 PM. Reason: Quoted post was deleted

  12. #12
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    There are days when I can look at a picture of myself and be really happy with it. Then on other days, I can look at the *same* picture and ask myself what I was even thinking.

    What Lydianne said above. Totally happens to me as well.


    I also agree with others that said you should take a look at shapewear / foundation garments. You might even want to layer four sets of foundation garments . I have no idea who would do such a thing, but he sure would have to be crazy *cough* .


    Yeah... I can’t imagine someone crazy enough to do that. *cough, cough* (me, too)
    You’d have to be a masochist or something.
    I am not a woman nor am I am man... I am an enby. Hi, my name is Wren.
    http://IamWren.net

  13. #13
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    Ever the contrarian, but also observant- take a look a women- there are plenty with broad shoulders and no hips, or flat, or whatever shape- so although there is something wonderful about prostheses kind of taking us out of our actual reality, I like just going with what fits and looks so good that people can't focus on my beard!

    What happens is first they see a cool outfit, then 'man', then back to the outfit, and then if they are ok with crossdressing they just figure the beard is part of the 'man', so what the heck. I get lots of compliments on my legs, and my outfits! I really believe most people just accept the degree of mimicry that each CD is aspiring to, and is supportive or not.
    We are all beautiful...!

  14. #14
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Even shapewear can't help me so you think you have problems LOLOL.
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  15. #15
    Member Ronnie38's Avatar
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    Haha thanks Gaby. I hope i didnt cause offence with this topic. Just thought it was worth sharing.

  16. #16
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    FWIW, I have found that a nice bottle of wine makes me feel much prettier.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  17. #17
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    If looking good is THAT important to u? As it is to me? You'll do whatever it takes to look sexy.

    I'm 75, shapeless, with a face that stops clocks!

    However, my avatar is how Sherry actually looks using every trick in the book!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  18. #18
    1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Phili,

    I have immense respect for you and what you do. You do infinitely more than I do . Speaking just for myself now, I do not actually consider your views contrarian.. it's just that I have to address a slightly different need. I understand the fakeness of my padding, but I need massive hips and a huge behind - they fulfill a need that does not get fulfilled without them, and the knowledge that some women have narrow hips and a small behind is of limited comfort to me. Same deal with my face - I can accept that it's not real, but it makes me feel happy, while my real face does not . Now, if I were granted being transformed into an actual woman in all ways except the hips and behind, that would comfort me . I still think I would need the feminised face, though.

    It never used to be this way. I used to be happy without any makeup or body sculpting :.

    Btw, Ronnie, I don't think your topic caused offence. I don't see how it would have . I hope you find a way to feel happier about your presentation. Just keep trying a variety of different approaches until you are happy .

    - Lydianne.

  19. #19
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    "I'm not pretty, and I'll never be pretty, but it doesn't matter. I have something much better. I have style." Iris Apfel

    Love this quote

  20. #20
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Are you a handsome guy? The brutal truth is that if you are not a handsome guy then is is very hard to be a pretty girl. Still, as others have said, it is easier to add a female figure where volume is missing than to reduce one that is too big.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Ronnie,
    It's difficult to reply without any pictures but do we assume you were wearing makeup and a wig when youi tried the dress on . I hate doing it without but on occasions when trying something on in a shop you have to look beyond and think how it could look . I'm sure women have a similar problems sometimes , I know my wife hated clothes shopping unless she was in the mood , the times she came back dissapointed because she didn't see anything she liked basically because she wasn't in the mood .
    Last edited by Teresa; 04-27-2018 at 07:24 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Of course you need some padding---Its part of the CD thing. And also you need to take pictures--especially head shots. I never could get a "handle" on what I looked like dressed. Sure, I have mirrors, but something about them prevents us from seeing the "big picture". Perhaps it draws us to the flaws. It was not until I was Able to take some good photos of myself, and come back to them after a couple of days, until I was Finally able to see what my
    'female self" looked like.------I certainly looked better than I thought I did.---No "raving beauty", but "attractive enough".---ANd with a few makeup adjustments, and MORE photos I was able to perfect my look. If you aren't "pretty"---also it might be your personal opinion ---Beauty is in the eye of the beholder---at least settle for "realistic"

    At our Church's Womanless Beauty contest, a few years back, I discovered that even SOME of the most unlikeliest men made the best women---I walked right past one before the show and assumed he was one of the ladies helping out---Not pretty, as such, but VERY realistic.

    My point is --take and use PICTURES.
    Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 04-27-2018 at 06:01 AM.

  23. #23
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I always wear hip pads, they make a big difference. Add on to that a long line girdle to calm my tummy.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have been lucky having been blessed with a slight figure I can do most anything.

    Being ugly is a state of mind, just work on what you have and keep saying......

    "I feel pretty". :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  25. #25
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronnie38 View Post
    Last night my wife asked me to wear a dress that is a favorite of ours but when i did i just felt ugly. I have no shape. No butt. No hips. Aparently have great legs though.anyone else ever think this way?
    You can easily fix your shape problem. All it takes is a bit of money to purchase padding or garments.
    Krisi

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