The very same way you did. I took a walk by a river trail about a month ago and mind you I don't pass at all. I had a long sleeved sweater,skinny jeans, sneakers, hair and boobs in place and I put on a surgical mask to hide my problem with my the hair growth on my upper lip. And no problems people said hi and I waved and yes it was exhilarating.
If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.
I am very familiar with that incredible 'high'. I am fortunate to have a small and somewhat girly frame and I can somewhat pass. However, I do not go out in public, do not care about being accepted, just don't like to be looked at in those awkward ways. So I only go out where there are no people. The weather got warm in California and I decided to venture out on my favorite bike trail around 2am when it the night was very warm the other week. Summer outfits are my absolute favorite. I put on my old sundress and a pair of wedge sandals and took a walk on the trail for about 30 minutes. Oh my gosh, it was such a blast. The feeling is very intense when you walk down the street wearing a dress. Of course, I imagined that I was not alone on the trail and did my sexy stroll. Feeling the light breeze under the dress was the best!
Yes, I would love to go out "in the cold light of day", but the only time I get to dress and go out in public is NYE. Do I pass? No. However, I think I can look quite reasonable if I get the hair and makeup right. One of my former clients(I'm now retired) said she had never expected to be saying this but said that I looked quite good as a woman. On another occasion, a somewhat inebriated man walked past, and I heard him mumble something about not being able to tell if I was male or female - he blamed the drink, and I took it as a complement.
It doesn't take an initial close examination; it only takes ONE male 'marker' to generate someone's further looking just a little more closely to see what you are, and it all takes place in seconds. Just because they don't shout out 'THAT'S A MAN IN A DRESS!', doesn't mean you're blending. All it means is that no one wants to deal with it at the moment. As long as you don't bother anyone, they're not likely to bother you. But don't for a minute think that no one notices. >99% of us won't pass a second's evaluation. All it takes, is noticing ONE thing. Fake hair, brow bar, 5 o'clock shadow, big shoulders, big hands, big feet, different gait, knobby knees/calf, odd fashion choices, just the slight wrong inflection of our voice, even just a slightly exaggerated feminine gait will draw someone's attention, and then they will 'clock' you by noticing even some other barely noticeable male 'markers'.Originally Posted by Becky Blue
Testosterone almost always just ruins us as women.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I love dressing and going "out" into the world. I don't pass at a second glance. I thought I was in a pretty good place one day when I was clocked by a young woman who actually stopped in her tracks and stared; pretty sure I overdressed. The clerk at the store didn't mind. I love the adrenaline rush of being out and have refined my dressing for age appropriate, dress for venue, and to be realistic don't wear super high heals to walk in a park. Thanks for asking. Brenda
I do not consider myself as passable but I go out frequently. I think a large part of being accepted (and not a focal point for ridicule) is your attitude. If you act confident, you become confident. Albeit, if you are dressed to blend, it helps a lot too. Helpful tip: Do NOT! wear the evening gown and tiara to Walmart! just saying.......
My first trip to a store ( a gas & go) may serve as an example. I was on the way home from an event needed gas for the car & coffee for me, so I pulled into a station. I could have just swiped my card at the pump, but I realllllllllly needed a cup of java for the hour drive home. So, gathering my courage, I ventured in. made my coffee, got 'hello'd" by one of the clerks ( a young man who smiled at me so I smiled back) purchased my gas and left. No screaming villagers with torches were to be seen.
As I was pumping my gas, a guy approached and I was thinking "oh sh*t, here it comes....", and I was floored by what happened next. The stranger said "Jodie you went in there like you owned the place! I admire your courage." It was another attendee of the event I was at, in drab. I confessed that I was a nervous wreck and that he obviously wasn't paying attention, when he assured me that I looked as confident as hell (all 6' 4" of me in heels) as I strode (strode? I felt I was slinking like a beaten pup) into the store.
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
I'll never pass, there's so much that would need to be changed for me to pass, but I'm happy with that, I'm me and I love being me. When I was younger I used to go out quite a bit, I say quite a bit, probably 2 - 3 times a month, more in the dark months. I liked the dark time of the year, and when it was a cold evening there'd be fewer people about too. I used to get dressed, (no make-up) and then go out in the car. I'd drive for an hour or so and then park up on a suburban street, (they were the best, wide tree lined pavements, long front gardens etc). I'd then get out and go for a walk, sometimes quite a long walk, it was a great thrill to think that there was a mile or so of space between me and the car. I had a good coat, with a deep hood which I could hide in keeping my (unmade-up face) well hidden from passers by, the coat was shorter length so that my skirt and legs were clearly visible, (my theory being that if I presented as obviously female with no glaring reason for anyone to doubt their first thought then, I would pass, and it worked for me). Sometimes I would wander down and through the town centre, looking at the shops and just being me, a person going about their business. I was aware of the dangers in all of the this and would avoid places where their could be potential trouble , but, 20 years ago, middle-class, middle English market towns were safe enough, I was never challenged, I was never knowingly read, I was never harangued. But, unfortunately, all that came to an end when I ended up moving to a new location where conditions were different and it was less easy, but the thrill still remains. I can look back on those times and I can take comfort from them, And, now, that urge is coming back, I am wanting to start going out again. I will do the same, I won't attempt to pass but why should I? It'll be baby steps at first and then, as the confidence grows, who knows?
No way could I "pass" so I don't show myself in public places. What I have done - quite frequently - is to look at people around me to see how eaasily (or otherwise) I can tell if they are male or female. More than 90% of the time there's no doubt. Of the remaining 10% almost all become immediately clear on closer viewing. Even on wet days, in coats, trousers, hats, etc. there is usually very little doubt. On the positive side, what are those tell-tale features that immediately say "male" or "female"? Obviously skirts, dresses, heels, etc. shout "female". Hair styles - plaits, pony tails, curls....most of the time say female. Shape....maybe, especially narrow waists and noticeable busts. Movement? Perhaps, but not always clearly. The point I'm making is that, as a male, I am programmed to judge very quickly, from a whole range of indicators, whether I'm looking at another male or a female. The proportion of occasions when I really can't tell is well below 1%. Of course, there will be those occasions when someone "passes" so well that I get it wrong!
Just do it. Go with friends, be open and outgoing. Just get out there and be genuine.
I do not pass and could not show myself in public where I live, it's that simple. However, I mentioned that in my case, I have gotten to spend time outside but not in the presence of others. I'm sure there are countless others just like me that would love that freedom but also recognize that they are simply not women and it's not worth the trouble. For some, it's not a big deal so good for them, glad they get to enjoy something many of us never will.
My question is not for those people, it's for others like myself however. People that do not feel the need to pass or be accepted as a woman but would like to get to enjoy going out in public yet private settings. I love being a man and love that this is only a fetish for me, it's not a life changing thing that I do. I've come to understand and accept this and so try to enjoy it but have no interest in being caught, outed etc.
I asked this question of others just like me, not those who pass or who want to fight their fears and be seen in public openly. As mentioned, bringing back the videos late at night, being able to get the mail, things like that where I am nothing but a glance from someone but never clearly seen.
Looking for those ideas.
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My wife has dressed me a couple of times for Halloween and a party and while all the women found my legs and butt very sexy, in the conversations that followed it was clear that I could never be mistaken as a woman. I have very wide shoulders, large chest, very football player looking kind of guy. Tiny from the waist down, large from there up. It is embarrassing to be seen dressed up even in the right environment.
I've wished for many years that I could meet a CD or two that felt the same way but after years of advertising, all I ever find are guys looking for things I'm not interested in, if you get my drift.
Passing to me means someone who is able to be accepted as a woman in public. It means someone who would never get a second look or thought about their gender. Lucky them.
I don't believe that all those who think they pass do and as you said, they are simply putting blinders on and have tough enough skin to be able to handle that kind of thing including the ridicule they are getting. I'm not interested in being pointed at or having comments made about me, this is a private thing for me. There are many others like myself who understand they are men with an unusual interest no matter how fluffy they try to make it sound. Men like myself would never be able to walk around outside other than Halloween or a party and while those times were mostly fun, you still get a very nasty looks from other men and even women when you simply do not 'pass'.
I find it interesting that many of the comments are encouragement to go out and be seen when I said that is not my interest or intention. I am specifically asking others like myself who know they would never be mistaken as a woman how they have have been able to get to enjoy being outside.
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Absolutely thatCan u define why going out in the woods is better than going out in the city? Is it you're less likely to be seen there?. As mentioned, this is a private thing for me, I don't care for anyone to know about it but want to find some safe ways of enjoying getting outdoors. I miss it so much. I dress at home all I want, though try not to do it all the time otherwise it will become nothing special. when I do, I badly wish I could get to experience being outdoors again.
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So easily understood. You are someone that completely understands what I am talking about. This is not just about you, it's about those around you. If you get caught, it could be embarrassing to others that know you also.
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Lovely post, thanks for sharing this.
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It's not the adrenaline rush for me.
It's the feeling of the clothing against my skin as a light breeze caresses me, it's the feeling of openness when walking around outside, it's the high I get from not being in the house and able to wear what ever I like. It was so exciting to do that in the past that on those days, I'd change several times so I could experience each of my outfits. I'd even walk around in the rain, it was so amazingly exhilarating.
Again, for those of you that have the nerve or what ever you want to call it to be out in public areas with other humans, great but for those of us who would not ever dare get caught, it's not as easy.
Last edited by Carolyn; 05-13-2018 at 09:02 AM.
Hi Carolyn,
In your OP you say "How do you get to enjoy your dressing up in public if you also do not pass? " which is why so many people thought you didn't mind being seen.
A nice option for you would be to get a vacation rental with a nice private backyard. You could then be perfectly at ease and enjoy all the blessings of sundresses and lingerie and nakedness as you please!
I'm wondering if you don't want to be seen, or really just don't want to be seen by anyone who could possibly connect you back to your identity at home, where the social punishment threat is so great. Iimagine going to Europe or somewhere no one knows you, where you can just enjoy being out, and with real people, which is an amazing addition to the high you describe in your OP, without being 'out' [pun intended!].
We are all beautiful...!
In the end I just went for it. I'd had a few trial runs in secluded places, with sunglasses and a hood, and so on, but eventually I just went outside in a busy city centre in a skirt and pantyhose. It felt great. Not remotely close to passing, but just walking confidently and acting completely normally.
In the end it felt much easier to blend in while walking in a medium-sized city than on the rural pathways where I'd first gone out dressed. I got a few odd looks but most people just went about their business and didn't care.
At the time I couldn't have told you exactly what I was looking for or experiencing when I made my first trips at 2:00 AM, out in the back yard or from my motel room to the ice machine. There were thrills and adrenaline, but that faded leaving what I've come to recognize as a sense of freedom and little boosts to my self confidence. It may have been just a lot of little steps as I grew and explored aspects of my personality that I'd kept under wraps for so very long. I never had the goal of leaving my house fully dressed and going out to dinner with friends or to a movie or do some shopping. However I did, and still have an innate need to grow as a person, I just didn't know in what directions I was going to grow.
The trips out in the woods or to drop off videos late at night are always about more than the potential exposure to others or the feel of clothes, they are chances to test ourselves and our resolve. When the experience is negative we drop back, when they make us smile we have expanded our comfort zone. Wandering alone in the woods or through a crowded shopping mall are the things that come as a result of that growth. The path we follow and destinations are as unique as we are, so the only valid measure is where you are compared to where you are comfortable.
Last edited by Sarah Doepner; 05-13-2018 at 02:47 PM. Reason: punctuation
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Good point. I've since clarified I think that I'd enjoy getting to go out more but do not want to be seen. I am aware of groups and such but those don't appeal to me either since I usually have little in common with others that CD. Meaning that I am not out to pass or to be accepted or anything else along those lines, I simply have this kink and would like to enjoy it more fully by being able to get out.
I've wanted to rent a place like you suggest but have wanted to do this with another CD friend but sadly have never been able to find one. I have thoughts about renting a lake side cabin and spending the weekend dressed together, walking on the road and other things, just not going into town and being seen
I also like your point about going somewhere like another country but again, don't really want to be seen by a lot of people. There are clubs and groups I could join in nearby cities but my real hope would be to meet another CD that is very much like me. It will never happen.
