Never felt guilt or shame because it felt right to me so I guess you would call that gender dysphoria.
I worked thru all the hows and whys on this forum and came to the realization that it doesn't matter its just who I am.
Being 20 you are at that age where you worry about your masculinity and anyone disputing your masculinity is automatically your enemy I get that because I was 20 at one time too.
You are at that awkward age between childhood and adulthood so things are difficult some times.
I don't say that to be demeaning to you its just the way things are and its part of life that we all go thru it.
Don't worry about what others think so much and enjoy your life and your SO because you owe no one any explanations for what you do.
