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Thread: Update and Looking Ahead

  1. #1
    Junior Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    Update and Looking Ahead

    Hello Ladies,
    I am thinking that it is perhaps time for another update on my life post social transition. As some of you know from reading my previous posts, eight months ago I was asking the forum for advice on how to make the right impression on my first day at work as Sara. Its been an eventful eight months since then. Work is going wonderful and I could not have asked for a better group of people to work with. I have received respect and acceptance from every single one of my colleagues and its as if I had only ever been Sara all the years I've worked there. A couple of months ago I attended a Hydrographic conference where I was invited to attend a women's only wine and cheese event. With a little push and support from an amazing female colleague I went and had a wonderful time. All fifty or so women in attendance treated me as one of them and it was an amazing evening. At home, life has pretty much normalized as well with both my wife and children quite comfortable being with me in public. The only exception being school functions where they are around a lot of classmates, though their friends have been told and many have met me. All my identity documents, bank and credit cards, drivers license and passport are now in my new name and gender. In my daily life I have never been misgenderered, made fun of, or have had to deal with any transphobic behaviors and comments. Yet when I read the newspapers and online news articles I am very upset to read at how much transphobia there seems to be out there in the world right now.

    In a few weeks I will be travelling to the UK on business for a week. It will be my first time out of the country as Sara and flying as Sara. I am concerned about how airport security will treat me. I do have a passport that identifies me as Sara, a female, but will it be enough. How will I be treated in the UK. The people I am meeting there have only been told to expect a woman named Sara. I am certain that my managers have not outed me to our UK contacts. Uncertainties abound. Then in August my family and I will be flying to Italy and spending a few weeks in Italy and Greece. All I can do is hope that I will continue to be treated with the respect and acceptance that I have received here at home. I will let you all know how things went abroad.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    A great story of your success! Wishing you all the best for you and your family! Hugs Lana Mae
    Let's play dress up!!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  3. #3
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Hi Sara,

    In the UK you will general meet with at least tolerance and in most cases simple acceptance. Airport staff (including security) are trained to apply the law which means no discrimination against trans people.

    Although my experience is not universal, in my day to day life I am treated as a woman by those I come in contact with - including shopkeepers etc.

    In the past I have had run-ins with TERFs and usually come out intact with some credit given to my dignified response by those who are not active supporters of the TERFs.

    Unfortunately, in any country there is a very small minority who would make neanderthals look sophisticated, but there is very little chance of you running into one of those during your stay.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

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  4. #4
    Senior Member Vanessa Grandy's Avatar
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    Hi Sara,
    Thanks for post this update.
    It sounds like a happy ending story.
    I'm not mean that your story is ending but all the struggles and fears of the transition to live full time as a woman look had end.
    No worries about traveling. I don't say it by own experience but I'd read several girls stories here the just crossdressers traveling with male ids, breast forms etc, and problems at all.
    I understand that UK is more open than USA and of course Greece and Italy (my dreamed place to travel but no yet) more if you will travel in family, better.
    It's me, Vanessa, in the core just a sensitive woman with a strong male appearance...

    https://www.facebook.com/vanessa.grandy.161

    kisses...

  5. #5
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    Such a spirit lifting update. Thank you for taking time to write it and good luck on your trip!
    You are a one brave woman!
    Katya

  6. #6
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    That's enormous progress, Sara. You quite rightly should feel pleased and proud of yourself, your family and your colleagues for the reception. I can't speak from much relevant experience, but it sounds like you have nailed it.
    You're a daisy if you do!

  7. #7
    Junior Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    I have just returned from my mentioned trip to the UK and as promised here is how it all went. The truth is that there is very little for me to say because, in fact, nothing happened. By that I mean that it was exactly as any other trip I have ever been on when still travelling as a male. I arrived at the airport at home and experienced no issues at security. Everyone was courteous, addressed me as Ma'am or Miss and I was whisked through. There were no looks or comments on the various flights to the UK and on arrival again I was through customs in a breeze. As this was a business trip, on Monday morning I met all my colleagues with whom I would be working. They were not only from the UK but there were colleagues from Australia and the US as well. Everyone was awesome all week long. During my entire week in the UK I was always properly addressed and everyone was polite. Even several homeless people when asking for money would say "Can you spare any change Ma'am". Same outcome on the trip home. I was treated no different than any other passenger through security and with airport staff and the flight home again was a non-event. That said, and as I mentioned in my original post, I have legally changed my name and gender designation here in Canada and all my identification documents do identify me as Sara, a female. Things may have been more bumpy had that not been the case. But as far as any concerns travelling, at least to more western countries, my concerns have largely dissipated. Hopefully others will have had the same experiences when travelling. Perhaps we hear disproportionately about the times when things go awry. I hope that this is in fact the case and not that I was fortunate that everything went so well on this trip.

  8. #8
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    That's awesome Sara. Good news for one of us - is good news for all of us!

  9. #9
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Glad it went well for you. Hope you'll come back this way soon.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  10. #10
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    Sara dear, from my own experience this is the norm for international travel in open countries. While my passport has my legal name Dorit and my current photo, the gender marker remains male for the time being. I recently traveled Tel Aviv to San Francisco, six US domestic flights and back home through Brussels. Like you, absolutely no issues, polite relations with respect, basically a non-event. I am still amazed and grateful that progressive type countries allow people like ourselves to life our lives openly and authentically!

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